In many cultures, the concept of an Alpha Male is associated with strength, power, and dominance. Historically, the Alpha male was the leader of a group, responsible for providing protection and resources for the members of their community. In modern society however, the definition of an Alpha Male has evolved. And the term is often used to describe individuals who display certain personality traits and behaviors. One of their key characteristics is confidence.
Who Is An Alpha Male?
Alpha Males are typically seen as self-assured, assertive and unafraid to take risks and make decisions. An Alpha Male intimidates and is unquestionably in charge regardless of the situation. He is loud, brash, and doesn’t care what anybody else thinks. He says and does what he wants, unapologetically. They are also typically seen as physically fit and attractive, with a strong sense of personal style. One final thing I’ve noticed about Nigerian Alpha Males: they are all rich, whether legally or illegally. And the worst part is, they feel they can shut any woman up with it. They have this “stop nagging, take this money and just be a good girl” type of behavior. While these traits can be somewhat attractive, they can also be taken to an extreme length and become harmful. These men may engage in toxic behaviors, especially when they feel like their dominance is being challenged *insert eye roll.*
Meeting an Alpha Male – What to Expect
Whether you are in a talking stage or you’re dating one, they are so easy to spot. Imagine you walk into a party and look at a group of people talking. Chances are, it wouldn’t take long to pick out the one person everyone is gravitating towards, the man who seems to be leading the conversation with confidence and charisma. Yes, that one. It seems natural — almost instinctual — that in any social grouping, one person would rise to the top of the hierarchy.
I have met many Alpha Males but no one has come close to *Mayowa, a guy I met on Twitter (I have really seen shege in the hands of Twitter men.) Women who find love on there, I often wonder how they do it – Is there a manual they aren’t sharing?
A good looking, Lagos based man earning six figures monthly. He was definitely my type on paper. He slid into my Dm’s and after a few minutes of going through his media, daughter of Zion was drooling. Anyway, this brings me to a few points on how to spot a Nigerian Alpha Male, based on my situationship with Twitter bae.
1. Physical Presence
Alpha Males have a strong physical presence. They are either tall or muscular, although this is not always the case. Mayowa (the guy I met online) had that stature that commanded respect and submission. After staring at his pictures for a few minutes, I knew he was the kind of man every girl wanted, and every man wanted to be.
Alpha Males are often assertive in their communication and actions. For Mayowa, I was uncertain if it was aggression, but that thin line in-between made me sick to my stomach. This man didn’t care who was in the room, he just wanted his opinions to be heard. And he was blunt and confrontational about it. Initially, it was sweet but overtime it was aggressive. Once the compass shifted, I hated it.
Alpha Males believe they must always be in control, assert their power over others, and be the “top dog” in any situation. This can lead to bullying, intimidation, and disregard for the feelings and needs of others. I never had a say in my relationship with Mayowa because he always wanted to be in charge. It was either his way or no way. And it got frustrating. Even the times we would go out, he always ordered for me and it turned me off. Initially, I thought it was sweet because he always picked the most expensive food on the menu but still! Eventually, I had to literally beg him to stop, even if he was the one paying.
Alpha Males are always in traditional gender roles and have a dismissive attitude towards women. They feel women should be seen as inferior or less capable than men and it’s so disgusting how many men today have this same mindset. It can lead to discriminatory behavior and it’s a lack of respect for women. I had to listen to Mayowa every time he spoke but he never allowed me speak freely. Every time we got into an argument and l had to explain how he hurt me, next thing I would see is a credit alert without an apology. When it started, I wouldn’t lie, I loved it. I would even intentionally start a fight just so I could receive an alert (Don’t blame me, who doesn’t like money?). But the moment I suspected it was his way of shutting me up, it got me asking questions. At first, I accepted his horrible behaviour but the moment it clicked to me that he never once apologised or took accountability for his shortcomings, he became a huge red flag.
Mayowa always focused on his own needs, desires, and accomplishments, often at the expense of others. This led to selfish and entitled behavior and a lack of empathy for others. He was so full of himself and every time he was around people, he always bragged. He felt he was the standard and nobody was better than him. All these signs made me realize staying around someone like that will not only drain me, but deem my inner light.
*Name has been changed
The concept of the Alpha Male has been a subject of much debate and discussion lately. While some may see them as strong and confident leaders, others argue that this term can reinforce negative gender stereotypes and create unrealistic expectations. It is important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all definition, and individuals may embody different traits that are considered ‘alpha’ depending on the context. Additionally, it is crucial to recognize that not all people, regardless of gender, will aspire to or benefit from conforming to the Alpha Male archetype. They are complex and multifaceted, and it is essential to approach it with a critical and open mind. By doing so, we can challenge harmful stereotypes and cultivate a more inclusive and equitable society for all individuals.