Dating can be thrilling and full of possibilities, but it can also be a minefield of emotions. One of the worst things you can go through while dating is being ghosted. Just imagine opening up to someone and thinking you’ve found someone you want to be with, only to have them vanish into thin air. It’s like they never existed, leaving you questioning everything. Ghosting is a sudden, disorienting experience that can leave you feeling confused and hurt.
There’s no excuse for ghosting, but sometimes when people don’t know how to handle a situation or lack the communication skills to end it properly, they disappear. It’s not always clear-cut, but if you’re noticing some of the signs below, it might be time to reevaluate your situation and prepare yourself for the possibility of being ghosted.
Stage 1 – Slower Replies
Girl! This is one of the obvious signs. I’m not talking about a one-time occurrence or a particular situation. I’m talking about going from constant communication throughout the day to random check-ins and barely speaking. When you’re just starting out with someone, he should be excited to talk to you and eager to keep the conversation going. If he was texting you good morning, checking in during the day, and wishing you goodnight, and now you’re lucky to get a response within hours, it’s a red flag. You’ve probably called him an a-hole or worse. In the early days, he’s supposed to still be obsessed with you! If he’s not, it’s time to pay attention.
Stage 2 – Gaslighting
Once the replies are becoming nonexistent, trust that when you bring it up he’s going to make it seem like you’re doing too much. Sis, you aren’t doing too much. It is simply the bare minimum. He might say things like, “I’ve just been busy,” or “You’re overreacting,” making you feel like your concerns are invalid. But remember, wanting someone to communicate with you is not asking for the world. It’s a basic expectation in any relationship. Don’t let him turn it around on you and make you feel like you’re asking for too much.
Stage 3 – Less Time Spent Together
The slow replies and gaslighting will definitely be met with an absence. You’ll notice he’s suddenly too busy to hang out, or he’s always got something else going on. There may be a few spontaneous moments here and there, but don’t let that confuse you. He might pop back in with an impromptu dinner date or a random text, but consistency is key. If he’s not making time for you regularly, that’s a clear indication that something is off. Confusion is a clear answer. Don’t settle for breadcrumbs when you deserve the whole loaf.
Stage 4 – Ghost!
No texts. No calls. It’s almost like you never existed at this point and the worst part is that you may never know why. There is so much to process at this point. Is it on you? Did you do something wrong? How can someone be so into you and out of your life just like that? It’s a whirlwind of emotions and unanswered questions. Ghosting can feel like a punch in the gut because it’s not just the loss of the person, but the lack of closure that stings the most. You’re left to pick up the pieces and make sense of it all on your own.
Stage 5 – Denial
Nothing is ever easy at this point. All of your emotions are valid. You’re probably making excuses and thinking about how you’re overreacting. Even if he’s going through something, this is not the way to do it. Everything will just continue to shock you. You might find yourself defending him to your friends or justifying his actions in your mind. But no matter what he’s going through, disappearing on you is not the answer. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and recognize that you deserve better.
Stage 6 – The State of Limbo Where You’re Thinking of Closure
Depending on the type of person you are, you might go looking for answers or decide to put the situation behind you and move forward. What is important is what will help you move forward. If you go looking for clarity, don’t have high expectations of the outcome. Men will usually disappoint you. Closure is a tricky thing. Sometimes, even if you get answers, they may not be satisfying or may leave you with even more questions. Focus on what will help you heal and move forward. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and do things that bring you joy. You deserve peace and happiness, not endless questioning and heartache.
Ghosting is a harsh reality of modern dating that can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and questioning your self-worth. While there’s no foolproof way to avoid it, being aware of the signs can help you take control of your emotions and decisions. Remember, it’s not about you—it’s about them and their inability to communicate. Lean on your support system, engage in activities that bring you joy, and focus on your well-being. Whether you seek closure or decide to move on without it, prioritize what helps you heal and grow. Dating should be a journey of mutual respect and understanding, so don’t settle for anything less. You deserve someone who communicates openly and values your presence, not someone who leaves you in the dark.
