Men are known to be notoriously bad at giving oral sex and women ridiculously good.
While these are mostly generalizations, the numbers don’t lie. Most men usually don’t have the patience and tend to care more about their own pleasure to make anything feel remotely good for their lovers. Most times a woman leaves a sexual experience feeling horrible because of how selfish their sex partners were.
Most women usually care too much. We bend over backwards to make sure our partners feel so good that they never forget the encounter. It’s time we received at least half the pleasure we give out.
So, ladies, dare to ask for what you deserve and men, do the bare minimum and go down on that person. Don’t be shy and don’t forget to take your time. If you care at all about your partner’s pleasure then keep reading to learn tips to elevate your oral sex game. You’re welcome!
1. Yaz, 20
A man used all the saliva in his glands to give me a yeast infection, a horrible experience. I didn’t tell him it was bad though. It’s the person unfortunate enough to receive oral sex from the guy next time that it concerns. After I came to my senses and not to an orgasm, I deleted his number. My advice is to take your time, reduce the saliva, use your tongue to write her name and don’t bite, it’s not kpomo.
2. Maro, 23
I believe oral sex is a very necessary facet of sex itself, most especially in heterosexual relations. If a man doesn’t give head, he’s a misogynist.
I’ve never experienced good head; hopefully one day. But bad head? I’ve sadly lived through that. I’m quite conservative. I didn’t even want my p*ssy ate but he kept pestering me about how ‘he’d make my legs shake, he’ll eat me out so good, he’ll make me soak the bed’ yada yada yada. So I was like “You know what? Let’s get it.” Only for this guy to stay down there for like 3 seconds, come back up to ask me, “Did you enjoy it?”
Maybe I would have if he’d been there longer, but it felt like nothing. His tongue was just jabbing my vagina, and he didn’t even pay attention to my clit or take things slow. I mean it was my first time, but I thought he’d try to work his way around, make me comfortable, etc.
Anyways, it was my first and last time. I would like them to tease me a little. Instead of diving right in, give little kisses around my inner thighs, nibble, lick, go slowly, seek eye contact, and touch other parts of my body while eating. Focus on other areas apart from the vagina, e.g. sides of my clit, labia, etc.
3. Aisha 23
I’ve had good experiences so far. I have vivid memories of December 2019 in Lagos. The sheets were drenched! That’s the only thing I can remember. One time though, this man was stabbing me with his tongue. I told him he was doing badly and he got hurt and offended, but he was hurting me too? You need to use the entire surface of your tongue, not just the tip. French kiss it.
4. Mimi 25
I love oral sex, and I’ve had some great partners and a few not-so-great ones. For the good ones, first of all, they were evidently enjoying themselves. They used their tongue and fingers and were not scared of me squirting. Heck, they enjoyed it. The bad ones, they nibbled. Some people like that, but please ask first, some of us are sensitive. Here are my tips to get better at it. Men pay attention.
- Enjoy yourself.
- Ask your partner what they enjoy, ask them to show you even.
- Firm your tongue.
- Don’t change patterns haphazardly.
- Don’t bite (unless they ask you to).
- Saliva is your friend but not like phlegm.
- Don’t ignore the nipples.
- Bring your fingers into play.
- Again, ask your partners.
5. Honey, 30
I love receiving head and I have been lucky enough to have partners that are just as obsessed. I’ve had a few mind-blowing orgasms from oral sex in my time. My worst experience was actually as funny as it was annoying. He was clumsy, had no rhythm and used teeth on my clit. I wish I could block that stupid man again. When I tried to talk to him, he got very defensive, talking about how no one had ever complained before. Women, please speak up!
Anyway, here are my tips; Never teeth, more soft lip movement with tongue, more observing my reaction and letting that inform your action. More questions – always ask how it feels, more practice, more conversations and more research.
6. Kike, 20
I love oral sex, but my experiences haven’t been so great. I’ve never experienced a real eater and one time, I don’t know where it went wrong, but it left me in pain. Learn to multitask! Hands and mouth, yum! And please learn the anatomy of the vulva, very important.
7. Missi, 22
I don’t dislike oral sex, I just won’t be bothered if a person I’m dating or having sex with doesn’t engage in it. To be honest, I’ve had some pretty toe-curling, don’t-ever-stop experiences. My best experiences have been with people I was very attracted to. I don’t enjoy sex if I’m not emotionally attracted to a person, but I’m also always interested in having sex with people I find sexually attractive. The attraction coupled with his ability made it my top experience, oh my goodness, the flashbacks I’m getting typing this.
I started seeing someone I wasn’t sexually or emotionally attracted to but he proved useful, so I had to keep him around. After about a month of no sex, he brought it up, and I said why not, he went down on me, and I was so confused as to what was going on. It felt like being blown by a portable fan (the ones without blades). I could feel his mouth breathing on my kitty, and then he’d occasionally stick his tongue out. This went on for about 5 minutes before I asked what he thought he was doing. I tried to explain what was wrong and he was like he’d try again, but somehow it was worse. It got so bad that I burst out laughing and told him to stop. I guess I embarrassed him when I laughed, and he just decided to end the sex. At this point, I don’t really mind when men can’t do it properly. I also date women, and they do an amazing job without explanation, so I don’t have much to correct.
8. Lily, 26
Although I never cum from it, I enjoy receiving head and I owe it to my partner. That man eats like he’s starved. He dives in like a pro swimmer and slurps me up like a thirsty dog. I love when he holds my thighs or pushes my legs up while gobble-smacking on that kitty. I have a huge clit, and he sucks on it like a dick — with the head movement and everything. He comes up for air sometimes, and that’s when he slips two fingers in. Gosh, the waterfall!
My bad experience was with another guy. He just licked it tentatively like he wasn’t sure what to expect. Then he kept flipping his tongue over the clit slowly. Forget all that sensual shit; drink me. I just asked him to f-ck me so he wraps up and gets to what he’s actually good at. I told him afterwards that the head could’ve been better, but that was after I gave him a glowing commendation on his pipe game because damn, he can f-ck. In subsequent encounters, he never gave me head again, but he dicked me down with all his power and might. Here are my tips; Less biting. Please keep your shark teeth to yourself, especially when you’re eating it from the back. More passion and vim. Use your mouth and tongue and apply enough pressure. Eat everything, not just the clit. Pay attention to the clit but don’t neglect the surroundings. Finally, use your fingers too.
9. Olori, 21
There’s no exact way to feel about oral sex tbh, it’s calming and satisfying to the core when done right, something I could just enjoy calmly all day if possible. My experiences have been fair; I’ve had my own share of bad but never terrible. Also had my own share of good. Once, I didn’t know how to classify the experience, but I didn’t want it to stop. Even as I orgasmed, I didn’t want him to stop.
For me, I’ve not had a horrible experience because I hardly let men go down on me. But I’ll say I’ve had underwhelming experiences. It felt bland and I just stayed there with my legs spread open, thinking about what I should have for dinner later. I need men to take it slow. Be intentional about what you’re doing. More tongue, more lips, no biting and no sucking hard. Just lick and eat with your lips. Good, long, soft tongue strokes with a stable rhythm. Not that hard.
10. Chioma, 37
I love oral sex, and I believe it’s an amazing aspect of sexual intercourse. As a woman who is very clitoral and unfortunate to be heterosexual, my experience of oral sex with the opposite sex has been mid, boring and not impressive at all. It’s pretty difficult to find a partner who knows how to explore my vagina orally and give me maximum pleasure. I may (and have) ended a relationship if my male partner is terrible with oral sex.
The best I have ever gotten has been from a Jewish lover. It didn’t last because he was racist, and recently, from an older man.
I can vividly remember one time I was sexually active with a guy, and whenever we tried cunnilingus, he would involve his teeth and poke me aggressively with his fingers even after several corrections. I ended that disaster.
When you tell them they’re not doing good, most of them react in a shocking way, confused, and sometimes slightly upset. Some gently ask how they can do better. Men need to ask questions, be patient, take it slow, do research, study the woman’s body, and for goodness sake, do not involve your damn teeth or nasty fingernails.
11. Tonye, 22
Head seems great in theory but in reality it’s often disappointing. All my experiences have been so bad, I have no clue what a real eater is. So please, point me to the sluts! My only tip is to focus and suck on the labia, not only the clit. You want your whole d-ck in my mouth but you can’t eat my whole p-ssy? BFFR.
12. Ijeoma, 26
Initially, I hated the idea of oral sex. I didn’t mind giving head, but I just never enjoyed it, mostly because earlier experiences weren’t the best. Only about one or two people have been good at it. I also now enjoy giving head because it’s fun for me, and I enjoy watching men squirm. Before it was always an obligatory task, so I hated it. Also, everyone kinda just expects you to be good at it even if it’s your first time, which is so annoying.
My first experience with a real eater was so good and very different from the one guy who literally ate my vagina until I bled and had injuries. This guy was different; like he ate to pleasure me and himself. I got comfortable with receiving oral sex from him. The second eater wasn’t really an eater at first, but he grew into it. It was so much fun teaching him how to pleasure me. I was like damn, oh okay??? Is this what it’s like?
Aside from the guy who literally chewed on my kitty, one guy bragged a lot about knowing how to “eat”, so I thought it’d be great. Lo and behold, it was not remotely great. He didn’t care if I was wet before shoving his stinking fingers into me. When he started chewing on my vagina, I actually lost it, but I still faked moans because back then, I didn’t know how to say no or cuss people out. I got so sore after, I had an injury and had to take antibiotics because of the discomfort. It was very painful, I can’t even lie. My heart goes out to his current partner, I hope she’s cheating. Men need to ask more questions. You can’t know a body more than the owner. I will show you the way, baby just ask.
13. Chi, 22
I like oral sex but I haven’t had great experiences in the past. You need to be dedicated and focused, a lot of tongue and sucking but never use too much pressure. And when you want to make me cum focus on the clitoris and do circular motions/up and down/gentle sucking with tongue motions and be patient. If you keep at it long enough, I will bust. Just stop rushing.
14. Selah, 24
I have experienced it just once and it was so bad – The guy wasn’t a good eater. It was my first time and I was hyped about it but it wasn’t worth it at all.
It felt as if he was trying to pull out my clitoris. It was so painful, I had to tell him to stop. Sadly, I haven’t experienced a real eater. I hope I do someday. Less penetration and more focus on foreplay, I hope that can improve his head game.
15. Amaka, 25
I love head. My experience with a real eater was so intense it quite literally almost drove me to insanity. He made me squirt for the first time & I was so attached to him I cried for like 6 months after we stopped talking.
However, my experiences so far (with cishet men) have been less than savoury. So many people shake their heads, lick everywhere but the clit, don’t pay attention to body language or eat the cat like they’re disgusted. More paying attention to the receiver’s needs, using toys for backup and also focusing on the clit.
16. Bisola, 21
So far, it’s not been a good experience because a lot of men don’t know how to give head properly. I have only ever enjoyed oral sex from one person. Even though it wasn’t for long, I felt the ripples.
My current FWB doesn’t do it for me. Ah! He licks the skin before the clit instead of the clit itself. I basically told him he was doing rubbish and he said he’d try new ways, but he wasn’t aggressive about it. More fingers and more friction on the clit please!
17. Bibi, 22
I don’t like oral sex. And I think it’s because I’ve never gotten good head. Starting from my first one. He was a 30+ man and that was my very first sexual experience. I don’t know how he did it but he really traumatised my vulva area. I felt sore for weeks! I tried to get him to stop but there was no reaction. He only stopped when he had enough. Men should communicate and also be very gentle. The vulva is a sensitive area.
18. Ada, 27
I love being eaten out. 8/10 so far, like proper eaters, eating me out seven ways to Sunday, on all fours, sitting on their face, laying down with my legs up, yummy as hell. Sometimes you just need to slow down because it feels like overkill and I feel like I might die from enjoyment.
19. Stacey, 22
I’m a fan of head but I’d be a bigger fan if men actually knew what they were doing. My experiences have all been bad, even with my current partner. I just tell him not to bother, biko. I’ve never even experienced a true eater. The one that had potential was always jumping, he thought he was good but he ended up being so mid and I was angry the entire time.
Then my worst time? It was a terrible experience. I still get random war flashbacks to this day and cringe because nooooo. It was so boring and quiet. Like something was just tapping away on my clit. I couldn’t even fake a moan. I would just lay there and accept my fate. At one point I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to push his head away before he bit my whole coochie off. It was worse for me because he actually thought he was doing a good job but I was irritated the entire time. So enthusiastic but still doing nonsense! I never told him. But if I did I’m sure he’d argue. So delulu and confident in his nonsense abilities.
Men, please, ask questions. Does this feel good? Do I go faster? Am I doing what I am meant to? Up your game.
20. Nifemi, 25
It’s a beautiful experience. Heaven and back. My very best experience with a true eater is one I will never forget. Out in the open, legs spread apart, him digging and eating and tugging at the right places. Hands on his head guiding him. Oh, I cried while cumming.
My worst experience was also so bad, I could never forget it. This person thought eating out meant actually eating the vagina. He kept biting me and was a terrible communicator. He didn’t want to give head and I didn’t know at the time cause we had spoken about doing it prior. I asked while we were at it cause closed mouths don’t get fed and he didn’t say anything, just kept doing other things which was weird. He became defensive about it so I stopped seeing him really cause sex without head feels like self-hate and I won’t be participating.
Men need to be guided. Listen to the tone of the moans. Make a visit to the clit. Follow the woman’s instructions and eat it like you are trying to take their soul!
21. Ola, 23
Oral sex is great, and I think everyone should engage in it more. It makes you look at the world like you have sunshine for shades. I’ve had a memorable experience that still plays a part in my masturbation sessions, that’s how good it was.
I’ve also had horrible oral sex. I remember meeting this one guy (women are the real eaters btw, never forget), and we got down to it. I mean, he was quite a terrible kisser, so I had a feeling that the head would be just as awful — and it was. I had to get up after a minute and literally lied about going to church or something just to leave. He never texted me again, good riddance really.
A bit of good advice for giving good head is falling in love with the person who is receiving. The energy and adrenaline to please them will come from nowhere. Fall in love today.
22. Gaby, 27
Oral sex is top 2, and it’s not number 2. Men just don’t be giving a f-ck and think it’s some ego play, and that’s why it’s a miss most times. This one guy I was seeing couldn’t find the clit and didn’t take feedback well. I remember how someone gaslit me after the entire experience. Men need to do better really.