Due to the lack of sex education in Nigeria, you’ll find that a lot of women are actually clueless about sex and yet, majority of us are out here getting our backs blown out. Its okay to love sex and its also okay to not be so crazy about it. Its perfectly normal to orgasm each time you have sex and its also okay to never orgasm. Sex is supposed to feel good and exciting but you should never feel pressured to do it. If sex feels like this big mystery to you, take solace in the fact that you aren’t alone. There’s so much to learn and we’re here for you! And that’s exactly why we asked 10 Nigerian women in our community to share the one thing they wish they had learned about sex sooner, and it’s honestly a must read.
Get your pen and paper and take down notes:
1. Temilade, 25
I used to think that women were just out here having orgasms each time they had sex. I always used to think that I was the weird one but that’s far from the truth. Majority of women can’t even orgasm through penetrative sex alone. It was such a good feeling when I found out that there are other ways to cum. There are even different types of orgasms.
2. Ama, 28
Sex is not meant to hurt! I thought it was a normal thing because there was a time I was seeing someone and each time we finished having sex, my vagina always hurt. Again, sex is not meant to leave you in pain. If this is the case for you, communicate or use lube or something to at least make it enjoyable for you. Don’t just lay there and allow yourself get hammered into discomfort.
3. Jennifer, 25
Once sex starts to feel uncomfortable for you, please stop it. Tell your partner to stop, don’t allow yourself be uncomfortable just to please another human being. You come first (Double entendre, I know). And if the person doesn’t want to stop, push them off, carry your bags and leave.
4. Christine, 26
I wish I knew way sooner that sex isn’t supposed to be sooo serious. Like, it’s never that deep. Both of you are there to enjoy yourselves, so why so serious? Sex on its own is even awkward; The noises, that sex smell, the vagina farts.. I can go on but you get my point. Sex should be fun. Its when you take sex too serious that you wouldn’t enjoy it. Chances are, you wouldn’t orgasm either because you’re too self conscious.
5. Jadesola, 24
Ladies, please pee after sex oh. Every single time you’re done, go to a bathroom and pee. Not doing so could lead to Urinary Tract Infections and I learnt the hard way.
6. Deola, 22
So I’ve learnt (through 21 actually) the importance of exploring your body to better understand what you like and don’t like, so this way you can communicate to whoever you choose to have sex with what turns you on and what doesn’t.
7. Amara, 24
Something a friend of mine taught me is how to assist your partner in getting you to orgasm. Like for instance when you’re on top and riding, its the best position to touch yourself, like touch your clit, nipples and so on. My breasts/nipples are very sensitive so since I started doing that, I reach orgasm faster. Wish I had known this sooner!
8. Kim, 20
I’ve learnt recently that its okay to not want to have sex. Women never want to seem like they have a low sex drive so most times we’re agreeing to sex even when we don’t want to. Isn’t that fucked up? Please, its perfectly okay to not even like sex.
9. Moyo, 19
I used to be so shy in the bedroom. I always used to prefer doing it in the dark or with the lights off but I’m more confident now because I learnt that sex is about exploring and trying new things while having fun at the same time. I won’t lie and say I’m not still self conscious but I’m much better now. I love my body more and I love having sex even more (Lol).
10. Amy, 24
Sex isn’t supposed to feel like a chore. Having sex with my ex used to always feel like an assignment; you don’t want to do it but you know you have to unless it’ll keep pending. It felt that way for a number of reasons but after we broke up and I entered my hoe phase, I realized how exciting sex is supposed to feel. If you’re sleeping with someone who isn’t interested in making it enjoyable for you, on to the next oh.
What are some things you wish you knew earlier about sex? Share them in the comments!