Wedding season is in full swing, with 2024 being the year of many high-profile weddings—the Adelekes, the Nwokes, the Blisses, the Kutis, and more.
We know that when it comes to weddings, there’s a lot of time, money, and emotional energy invested, not only by the couple but also by you, the guest. If you’ve just received an invitation, you’re probably already planning what to wear, sourcing the perfect gift, and getting ready to celebrate love. You’ve been invited to share in one of the most special days of the couple’s life, and it’s imperative to treat your role as a wedding guest with importance.
From the moment you receive an invitation until waving goodbye to the happy couple at the end of the reception or after-party, the way you conduct yourself leaves a lasting impression.
No need to panic, babe. We’ve compiled tested and trusted do’s and don’ts to make you the ultimate wedding guest.
Do’s
1. Do Follow the Dress Code
In many weddings, the couple has a vision they plan to perfectly execute for their big day. Simply put, couples want their weddings to look a certain way. One of the ways they achieve this is through a uniform look for their guests—for aesthetic purposes or whatever the reason may be. If a wedding invite asks for a certain color, style or material, it is expected that you follow that dress code.
In following the dress code, keep in mind that weddings are family-friendly occasions. Keep it classy and modest. Don’t wear a dress that shows too much skin—unless you want to get grandma and grandpa rattled.
2. Do Drink Responsibly
While a wedding can transition into a party, have fun and celebrate, but don’t get completely wasted—we are talking drunk to the point of not being able to stand up, drunk to the point of throwing up unexpectedly.
Get a little tipsy but don’t go overboard to the point where you’re embarrassing yourself and the newlyweds. Trust me, you don’t want to be that person.
3. Do Respect Cultural Traditions
If the wedding incorporates cultural traditions, take time to learn and respect them. This is particularly important for Nigerian, African, and other culturally rich weddings where traditions play a significant role.
4. Do Participate in the Celebration
Engage in the festivities, whether it’s dancing, toasting, or simply mingling with other guests. Your participation adds to the joyous atmosphere.
5. Do Show Up on Time
First off, if you were invited to both the church ceremony and reception. It’s tacky to show up for only the latter—it’s giving I am only here for the jollof and small chops.
It is not at weddings you show up fashionably late by making an entrance after the bride. Ensure you’re on time and seated for both the ceremony and the reception.
Don’ts
1. Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute to RSVP
As a guest, one of the most appropriate things you can do is to RSVP promptly. By doing this, you’re making it easier for the bride and groom to plan towards their big day.
It doesn’t matter what your relationship with the couple is, don’t assume they know you’re coming.
And once you commit to attending a wedding, unless there are unexpected circumstances, it’s rarely acceptable to not show up, particularly if it’s because “a better offer came along.”
2. Don’t Wear White or Ivory
In almost all weddings, the bride who is the star of the ceremony wears white. There are a million colours you can choose from on that day, so, whether you’re part of the Bride’s train, mother of the bride or simply a wedding guest, in order not to be perceived as trying to upstage the bride, please don’t wear white, ivory or any other similar colour.
3. Don’t Invite Someone Else
It is Nigerian party culture for people to bring plus-ones to even occasions that strictly admit only one person per invite—we get it, you don’t want to be in a large crowd without a trusted friend that will not only amp your confidence levels but will also join you in the enjoyment that they deserve.
But imagine planning your own wedding and in the invite, banning plus-ones, but no one listens and at the ceremony, you spot a lot of strangers (and maybe your secondary school bully). Won’t that ruin the intimate vibe you wished to have on such an intimate day?
Don’t bring a plus-one if you’re not allowed to. Seriously, it would be *super irritating when your friends look through their wedding photos and ask, “Who is that person next to you?” for years to come.
In addition, don’t put the couple on the spot by asking them if you can bring an additional guest. They have already gone to great lengths figuring out how to plan room space, and who’s sitting at each table and they want to make sure everyone is comfortable and fed well.
And this goes without saying, if you didn’t receive an invite, don’t show up—have some self-respect, please.
4. Don’t Make Their Wedding Day About You
Since everyone’s gathered together in celebration, it could be tempting to share in the day by sharing major life announcements (babies, engagements, new jobs, etc.).
Hold off until after the wedding. It’s their special day, not yours!
5. Don’t Ignore Gift Requests
The bride and groom are about to start a new life together as a family unit. As they have spent so much time, energy and money to enable you to enjoy yourself while celebrating their love, you in turn can show appreciation by gifting them something off their wishlist.
In cases where the couple has no wishlist, let your gift reflect the relationship you have with any one of them.
Being a wedding guest is more than just attending a party; it’s about honouring the couple’s big day and showing respect for the effort they’ve put into making it special. By following these do’s and don’ts, you’ll not only avoid any faux pas but also ensure you contribute positively to the joyous occasion.
Remember, your presence is a gift in itself, but your mindful actions and behaviour will make you an unforgettable and cherished guest. So, dress appropriately, RSVP on time, respect the couple’s wishes, and most importantly, have fun while celebrating love!
