The Single Girl Diaries is a series where we explore the many interesting, unfiltered stories and experiences of single girls everywhere. From the good times to the challenges, we’re here for all of it. The stories cover a wide range of topics, from dating and self-growth to matters of the heart and mind and everything else in between.
In this article, *Anu recounts her mysterious encounter with someone at a club in Lagos. She reflects on the sequence of events, how it transpired, and her current dynamic with the person she met.
“My name is Anu. I’m 28 years old and still in disbelief over what happened to me. My friends say I wasn’t curious enough to learn the truth about my experience, but it wasn’t that straightforward.”
My Dating Life
My dating life has been very rocky. At the time of the incident, I was actually sort of seeing someone, but we’ll get to that later. I’m someone who isn’t very content when it comes to monogamous relationships. It’s not that I’m disloyal; it’s just that, well, I am. If someone shows interest and it seems promising, I’m going to reciprocate. After all, I’m not married yet. Relationships aren’t marriage, and what if I say no to my future husband because of a current boyfriend or situationship?
My last relationship was with a truly wonderful guy, a total sweetheart. Overall, it was a good relationship, but we always had many issues and misunderstandings. Whenever we had a fight, there was always a side of me that didn’t want to reconcile, and that was because of the elephant in the room, which was our genotype mismatch. We are both AS and even though I tried my best to overlook it, I just couldn’t. I guess I always used it as an excuse to act out and meet other people.
The Encounter
The day before the club, everything seemed fine. My friends and I were feeling bored, so we decided to go out the following day. Personally, I didn’t want the guy I was (kind of) seeing to bother me on the club day, so I made sure to be very present and attentive to him the day before. I spent a lot of time with him, showering him with attention, because I was eager to have a great time at the club, unaware of what was about to unfold.
The following night came, and I went clubbing with my wing woman, *Husseinah, and a couple of other friends. We were about six in total.
As we settled at our table, a club promoter who knew my friend approached us, exchanged greetings, and shook hands. Interestingly, the same promoter also spoke to a guy who was sitting alone. He had his own table with drinks and bottles, but he was by himself. I couldn’t tell if he was waiting for friends or if it was a deliberate strategy, but he definitely caught my attention.
He had tattoos all over his body and was a dreadhead, which I found so sexy
He exuded a strangely attractive aura, with a mysterious vibe that sent tingles down my body. I tried to catch his attention from a distance, but he seemed oblivious. Feeling unusually bold, I made the decision to go over to his table. I’m usually not this bold, but as they say, alcohol can make you feel like the main character. I shared my plan with my friends, and their encouragement gave me the extra ginger I needed.
So, I made my way to his section, and as I got there and sat down, I saw that he had this smirk on his face. Immediately, he whispered something into my ears that I don’t really remember now, and then the conversation just started flowing.
As the night continued, he was very flirty, respectful and observant. Let’s call him *Toju. My glass never stayed empty; he was constantly filling up my cup and showing me a good time. At one point, I remember asking if I could have my friends join his table, but for some reason, he didn’t like that. I kept thinking that he wanted us to have some privacy, which turned me on, but looking back, I realized that didn’t make any sense. Just the two of us with all that alcohol on one table. He also didn’t have one friend with him, which, when I think about it now, should have been a major red flag. Which man in Lagos (or woman, tbh) goes clubbing on their own? Especially men who love going out in groups.
So, as the night progressed, Husseinah, my best friend, came over to the table to say hi to him, but I knew it was really to make sure I was good, and he replied in a very charming way, “She’s good, don’t worry”.
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For some reason, I was even more turned on by this.
Not long after, he told me he wanted to dance with me, and this got me excited because he was a good-looking guy. As we were dancing, with me grinding against him, I started asking questions like, “How are you?”, “Are you happy to be here with me?”
As we danced, he kept telling me that he hoped I didn’t have a boyfriend and all that. I was too drunk to think he was being too forward; I was just smiling like a fool.
We were both in euphoria. Everything was going great while we were dancing, and I was having the time of my life. I remember giving him my number and all my socials, from Instagram to Snapchat.
This is where it gets weird. I remember having a good time, but that’s all I remember; dancing and then.. nothing.
I woke up at 4 am to an empty club.
The last thing I remember before waking up at the club was dancing with this guy.
When I say the club was empty, I mean completely empty; the DJ had gone home, so there was no music playing, no bottle girls in sight, nothing. Don’t forget I came with about 6 people, and 3 more people joined us during the night, so there were about 9 of us in total, meaning I should have been easy to find, with 9 people looking for me.
It was only some people lingering at the bar, and when they saw me, they had a confused look on their faces. “Where are you coming from?” was the first thing they asked me. I couldn’t even respond because me too I didn’t know where I had been.
At this point, I was panicking. I couldn’t fathom or believe that my friends would abandon me at the club and leave me on my own. It just wasn’t possible. To make matters worse, I didn’t drive that night, so I couldn’t just hop in my car and leave.
When I got outside, I saw a bouncer and asked if he had seen the large group of friends I came with. His response made me feel even worse: “Ah. They left since!”
I couldn’t even believe what was going on.
After the Incident
When I got outside the club, there wasn’t a car in sight, which made sense because, as I said, the club was empty, and getting a Bolt ride was an issue, so I had to walk all the way to the nearest ATM. I walked from Wole Olateju, close to BICS Garden, all the way to Access Bank because I needed to get cash, and my phone was about to die.
Eventually, I got a ride to a friend’s house in Ikoyi, and immediately started making calls frantically.
I called every single person I was out with that night, demanding to know what the hell happened to me, and why my friends abandoned me at a CLUB.
“What happened?”, “Where was I?”, “How come nobody saw me?”
One of the first responses I got was, “Ahnahn, we were looking for you. We thought you even left with the Toju guy”.
I was shaking at this point because I know I didn’t leave anywhere with anybody.
My friends then asked me about Toju’s whereabouts, to which I obviously replied that I didn’t know.
I called another friend who was at the club with me, and she said, “But you seemed to be having a great time; you were dancing with the guy. Are you sure he isn’t a mami wata?”
At this point, I was panicking because I couldn’t remember what happened. I would like to say that I’m a composed drunk, so no matter what, I still should have been able to piece some things together, but till today, I literally don’t know what happened that night.
I don’t remember anything. The last memory I have of that night is dancing with Toju.
My friends still make jokes about it, but it honestly was and still isn’t funny. I checked my following on social media recently, and he’s still there, following me till now.
I never messaged him to ask what happened, and I don’t know why. I just didn’t.
He even wished me happy birthday recently but of course, I didn’t respond.
*Names have been changed
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Hmmm things are really happening 🥹🥹