The Single Girl Diaries: “I Walked Back Into the Room and He was Stark Naked”

The Single Girl Diaries is a series where we explore the many interesting, unfiltered stories and experiences of Single girl’s everywhere. From the fun times to the hard times, we want to hear all about it! The stories range from experiences with sex and dating, money, self improvement, career and sexual health. 

In this article, *Rose talks about her first date experience with *Funsho, guy she met on Twitter, who made a rather bold move on her using the infamous “Naked Man” seduction technique.

My Dating Life

My dating life has been a bit of a rollercoaster lately. I’ve been on a few dates that started off great but then fizzled out quickly. It has been frustrating because I know I have a lot to offer but I just can’t seem to find the right connection with anyone. Although I’ve been trying not to get too discouraged but rather focus on self-improvement and try to be more intentional about the kind of man I want to attract into my life because I think it’s better to be patient and wait for the right person than to settle for someone who isn’t a good fit.

Anyway let’s jump back into my story – Let’s be honest, men always have tactics or a way with words when they so desperately want to get with you. It’s either they beg to put the tip in, or they cry about having blue balls. Occasionally they may say sweet things to make you feel like you’re the most important person in their life. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? They invent ways to get a woman to consensually give up the cookie, and some of us keep falling victim. The Naked Man technique is something I never thought would happen to me because I’m not very spontaneous and I don’t think I give off the vibe. For those who don’t know, it’s a term that was used in the popular US sitcom How I Met Your Mother. It refers to a technique or strategy used by one of the characters in the show, Barney Stinson, to successfully pick up women. The “Naked Man” is a bold and daring seduction technique in which a man strips down naked in the middle of a date to win over his date’s affection.

That was how I went on a date last year with a man I met on Twitter (I should’ve known.) I was actually very attracted to him because he was handsome and seemed responsible. For someone who hadn’t been out on a date in a long time, I was really looking forward to being swept off my feet. Unfortunately, I didn’t know he had plans of his own. After the date, he offered to drop me off at my home. I thought the gesture was sweet and thoughtful and I remember feeling excited about him being a potential boyfriend. Once he drove into my house, all of a sudden this man was thirsty so I asked him to come in to get water.

The Seduction Technique

Once he got in, I offered him a glass and hurried to go ease myself because I had a lot of wine during our date.When I got back into the room, I noticed the lights were turned off. I suddenly got chills because the lights were on when I left and tbh, being a woman alone in a house with a man I barely knew, was frightening enough. I suddenly spotted a figure standing still, and I moved backwards in fear. The lights were still turned off so I had to use the torchlight on my phone to see clearly, and that’s when I saw him. This man was standing stark naked in my living room and he was staring right at me. I could literally see him yearning for me, if you know what I mean. His clothes were piled up on the couch and his crotch was hard as titanium. He was motionless and speechless. And so was I. You needed to have seen his chiseled chest – his triceps and biceps and every muscle in his body were just there waiting for me to give consent. A b*tch was terrified!

He looked good, like sin in a suit. But part of me was scared, I was like “damn! What’s going on?” And he didn’t say a word, he just kept on looking at me. I could see the humor in his eyes, he was hoping whatever he was doing would work. Have you ever seen a documentary on lions marking their prey before attacking?. That’s what I saw and I was scared. The first thing that came to mind was to run towards the door but once I attempted to, that’s when he then remembered he could talk. He told me not to be scared and started going on and on about how much he likes and wants me. In that moment, my adrenaline was far too high to listen to what he had to say. I just screamed and told him to get dressed and get out. You needed to have seen the embarrassment in his eyes after I opened my door and told him to leave.

What do men really get by trying to corner a woman? What happened to letting it come naturally and slowly? I probably would have given in if he took the natural route because I was actually attracted to him but that foolish technique startled the African woman in me. I’m sure he most likely has tried it before on other women, and it must have worked because if it didn’t, he would have kept his crotch to himself. Men need to know that this is not an appropriate or respectful approach when pursuing a romantic relationship with someone. This technique is unethical and also potentially inappropriate and harassing. Moreover, it reinforces harmful gender stereotypes and reinforces the notion that women should be pursued using manipulative or deceptive tactics. It is essential to prioritize respect and consent in all romantic pursuits, and this technique does not align with those values. It is crucial for individuals, particularly men, to understand that pursuing a relationship with someone must always be based on mutual respect and consent. Tactics that rely on surprise or manipulation are not acceptable and can cause harm to others. It is always better to be open and honest in one’s intentions and to respect the other person’s autonomy in deciding if they are interested in pursuing a sexual relationship.

Honestly, if any man ever spontaneously strips down naked as a way to get me to have sex, I’ll use a dog to chase him out of my house.

*Name has been changed

If you’re a Single girl and you have a story you would like to share that falls under either of these categories; sex and dating, self improvement, mental health and sexual health, click here.