These days if people aren’t officially dating, they are sleeping together casually. It’s like a thing now.
..But can you actually blame anyone?
While in a casual relationship, you can sleep well at night with peace of mind knowing someone isn’t cheating on you or stressing you in any way.
As a sexually liberated adult myself, I love sex and I enjoy it. If I’m single and ready to mingle, I don’t mind being in a casual relationship with someone, as long as I’m sexually attracted to them and I trust and respect them.
I always make sure certain things are made clear between us from the jump, because relationships (whether casual or serious), that are not clearly defined from the beginning always find a way to come back and bite you in the ass.
Real hot girl shit, I’ve never wanted to be the one who goes down as the person who couldn’t maintain a casual relationship, so when things start to seem too serious, I dip. Don’t blame me, it’s the pressures of modern dating.
You can’t be a wimp out in these streets. Not me.
You’ll never take me alive!
I’m sure everyone knows when they are falling for someone, but a lot of people like me are clueless when it comes to determining the other person’s standpoint.
Being in a casual relationship, as casual as it may be, can really do your head in. Sometimes your head will start to do mental gymnastics because you’re starting to catch feelings, and you’re unsure how the other person feels about you.
If this is you, you’re in luck. I’m here to help. Here are some obvious signs that things are actually getting serious (and it’s not in your head):
1. You’re Hanging Out More Often
You don’t know how it happened, you’ve just discovered that every weekend you’re spending time together.
They make plans with you more often and are always including you in their outings. You’re getting so used to their presence that you can’t imagine being out for drinks, or at a party, or going to the movies without them there. It just hasn’t sunk in that there might be other people on the planet you would like to spend your time with, because low-key you don’t want to spend time with anyone else.
Being with this particular person feels so familiar that it has practically become natural.
And.. that’s how it starts.
2. The Compliments Are On A Whole New Level
I mean, if you’re casually sleeping with someone, compliments in the bedroom are mandatory. Talk to me dirty and tell me how no one has fucked you like I have. Music to my ears.
However, random compliments outside the bedroom are.. different. Why is he/she complimenting “how beautiful you look” when you’re bare wearing a silk bonnet looking like a sack of potatoes? that sounds serious to me.
As for you, when they shower you with compliments how do you feel?
Is that your heart beating? .. Are those butterflies in your belly?
If this is you, good luck sis. You’ve caught feelings.
3. Sex Feels Comfortable With Them
Being in a casual relationship means sex all the time, duh. This however does not mean that you both can enter into a space where you can turn on the lights, play naked goofy games or generally be vulnerable with each other.
A very obvious indication that a casual relationship is becoming something more is the telltale sign of how relaxed things become in the bedroom. You become more intimate, you’re cuddling, spooning and even falling asleep in each others arms. It will feel as though you’ve been together for years, and you actually wouldn’t want to have sex with anyone else. Omo.
4. You’re Spending More Time Together.. Without Sex
Okay, sound the alarm because this one is serious.
You’re spending days together and not having sex – You’re not taking part in the main activity your relationship is based on, but instead you’re spending quality time together.. without sex? Sounds like a relationship to me.
You are so wrapped up in your conversations; talking about meaningful nothings, teasing and mocking yourselves, planning breakfast, lunch and dinner and yet, not immediately trying to hump each other. That one is another level. You have attained intimacy with the warmth and vibrancy of companionship alone. Isn’t that amazing?
Ding ding ding. Someone is falling in love o.
5. They Involve You In Their Future Plans
Unfortunately, Nigerian men have mastered the art of steering this into conversation just to get those butterflies in your belly twerking for them. From ‘I will wife you’, to ‘I will give you twins’ and co.
Tbh, this is something you have to decipher fiercely.
At this stage, there is a lot of talk about “we” rather than “I”. Someone that includes you in his/her future plans sees you as more than just a casual fling, right?
Well, I would like to think so. However, our beloved Nigerian men will do this and more, then go home to their girlfriends of 3 years. We have all heard our fair share of Yoruba Demon stories, so I know you know what I mean.
At the end of the day, you just have to tread carefully. Its easy to talk and talk, but action matters the most. You have to walk the walk. If he’s showering you with compliments, gifts and is including you in future plans, don’t be so quick to get carried away because its so easy to.
I know the ‘What are we’ phrase is very high school, but it still doesn’t change the fact that its an important conversation to have. Especially when you find yourself in a situation were things seem to be getting serious, and not at all casual anymore.
Don’t get me wrong; it’s not something you ask after two days of hanging out.
It’s always a good decision to know where you stand with someone, so you don’t have high expectations and break your own heart. That’s because 21st century men rival with the devil when it comes to deception, so you always have to guard yourself.