I know every Nigerian woman has been slut shamed by a Nigerian man in one way or the other. You turn a man down and the next thing you know, they are calling you Ashewo, or going around spreading rumors about “how easy you are”. If that isn’t bitter, then I don’t know what is. Hearing false derogatory rumors about yourself has to be the worst thing ever. I actually have to ask, If a Nigerian man doesn’t slut shame a woman, will he die?
Probably.
Read: Na Ashewo Dey Reign: What You Need To Do As A Nigerian Woman To Earn This ‘Honorary’ Title
A lot of men in general feel the need to boost their egos by making a woman feel less of herself, and its honestly unacceptable. They are so quick to insult women out of ignorance and bitterness.
I asked five women to share their experiences with being slut shamed by Nigerian men:
(1) Ashley, 22.
I’ve been slut shamed countless times, and honestly it gets really frustrating that this is actually a daily routine for some Nigerian men, and I’m forced to feel fine with it. An experience I will never forget was when I boarded a bus and the conductor called me an Ashewo for wanting to collect my change.
It was far from funny at the time because this man kept teasing me at first, that I’m pretty and I should dash him the change. I asked him why he should even collect the bus fare from me since he said I’m pretty. This man kept dragging on with me and was insisting on not giving me back my change. (It was like N750 or so and I’m a Lagos babe, pls all of us dey hustle together). From nowhere he just called me a prostitute and said only God knows how hard I must have worked the night before and market must be tough for me to keep insisting on collecting my change, then he threw my change on the floor.
It was the audacity for me.
(2) Temi, 19.
This man I was talking to asked me out, I said I wasn’t interested then he went ahead and called me a slut. I was just so confused. I’m a slut for turning down an advance?
Omo! Sometimes it just feels surreal to me because I’m forced to feel fine with things like this. It’s so rampant now that it actually feels very normal to go about your daily life and be slut shamed.
(3) Amara, 25.
I can’t lie, being slut shamed is like breathing air. Men must always find the nastiest things to say about a woman. I’ve been slut shamed for wearing a crop top because my boobs were coming out and a man said to me “see her breast all out, what a stupid girl”.
It gets really annoying and now I just try to block out the negativity from my head.
(4) Tobi, 21.
There was this guy that I was trying to get along with. I had a couple of dates with him and all but I still wasn’t feeling him exactly. So, he invited me to his apartment one time. We were about to have sex but then I wasn’t so comfortable with everything, so we just ended up making out.
We still spoke about it and we were cool after that, which is why I found it really strange that this guy went about telling people that he had had sex with me and I’m a loose girl when whatever we had was over.
It felt so funny back then because the whole situation was so weird and uncalled for. Till date I still don’t understand what his point was exactly.
(5) Naomi, 20.
It hurts more when it comes from people you thought were your guys and were supposed to protect you, but then you realize they never even knew you well enough or they never really cared to be able to think so low of you.
I had a friend who I was really close with but then again I’m really friendly towards people, and I guess he started reading meaning to everything.
One day we were texting and I randomly told him about a guy I found attractive and he just switched up on me. I was wondering what the problem was so I tried cheering him up and asked what the matter was. Before I knew it, he started accusing me of leading him on and flirting with him.
He also accused me of moving to every guy I met, throwing shady insults saying that’s how I’m just going to keep switching from different guys, giving my body out until “they use me finish”.
I was so lost but mostly hurt, I blocked him and cried my eyes out that day.
I felt so stupid and humiliated.
(6) Christina, 28.
I was taking a walk around my estate one day, as part of my daily exercise routine. I kept noticing that a car was following me, so I began to feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t too frightened though, because I was on a busy road and my estate is a secure place. The car eventually parked and two guys came down trying to talk to me. One of them was obviously the one interested, while the other one was just being a follow follow.
The one that was trying to talk to me was a bit aggressive, he couldn’t take no for an answer. He kept asking for my number and I kept insisting that I couldn’t give it to him, and that he should get back into his car, drive off and leave me alone. Oga no gree.
After a while, he gave up. But not before saying to me “Na me fuck up sef. Na because say I dey try talk to you. See as you be sef, like expired Ashewo.”
Imagine. I got told all these insults because of what? because I didn’t want tot give out my number.
No doubt, slut shaming is hurtful. It can lead to so many other issues like depression, anxiety and even body dysmorphia. We are tired of being bullied and harassed because we are women. It needs to end.
Wow, the fact this is becoming a norm is annoying