Take This Quiz and We’ll Tell You What Your Kink Is

In case you didn’t get the memo, vanilla sex is unoriginal. For those in a quest to spice things up and make their sexual life more exciting, they might learn that one or two things that fall outside the statistical norm of heteronormative sex turn them on. Well, those things are called kinks.

While some, like role play and foot fetishes, are quite common, other kinks, like scat play and BDSM, are reserved for the daring.

Funny enough, the same way people don’t want to admit that they are strictly on a vanilla menu is the same way others will rather chew jeans than tell us about that weird-ish thing that gets them off. But this is a judgement-free zone—all consensual sexual activities are welcome. Get your nut, girl!

If you want us to bring to daylight, that kink you partake in only at dark hours, take this quiz!

Pick a Colour

Red

Sky Blue

Navy Blue

White

Brown

Your Worst Ex Is Describing How You Act When You’re in Love. What Will They Say?

She’s a very stubborn girl. “No” shouldn’t exist in your dictionary if you want to get with her

She’s too touchy and can’t do without PDA. I’m too shy for all of that

She’s too immature and would rather die than be the bigger person

She's delulu and way too obsessed with Harlequin novels and K-dramas

She’s way too clingy, I can’t even go to the toilet without her following me

Your Man Is Going Down on You But He's Doing Nonsense. How Do You React?

I'll remove his face from my vagina and tell him he's wasting my time

I really don’t care. I’m content watching him between my thighs, eating happily

I'll keep quiet because I know he's trying his best

I'll carefully guide him on how to do better

I'll fake it with loud moans and seizures

Hurry! You Can Only Pick One Kind of Man to Co-Habit With for the Rest of Your Life

A gentle introvert that can be a pushover

A man who doesn't know my angles and takes the ugliest pictures of me

A man who's learned and experienced. Unfortunately, he has 4 grown kids

Not to be dramatic, but there’s no human male I have the desire to co-habit with for the rest of my life

A billionaire who is very condescending

Choose a Movie/ TV Show

Gone Girl

Euphoria

Pretty Woman

Bridgerton

Battle on Buka Street

You Stumble upon a Wishing Lamp, and the Genie Wants to Eliminate all the Problems in Nigeria, but You Must Save a Specific Group of Annoying Nigerians. Who’s Staying?

Nigerians who call their pastors, "Daddy"

Nigerians who stare unashamedly and cannot mind their business at all

Nigerians who love to disrespect you only because they are older

Misogynistic Nigerian men

Nigerians who don’t use deodorant, especially in public transport

You Can Only Travel to One Country for the Rest of Your Life. Which Country are You Choosing?

America

Germany

China

Italy

Dubai

Take this Quiz and We’ll Tell You What Your Kink Is

BDSM Subkink: Dominance and Submission (D/s)

Your kink is dominance! You enjoy dominant/submissive pairings, and you love being in charge and bossing your partner around in all manner of ways—in and out of the bedroom. The stress of navigating the patriarchy in Nigeria fuels your desire to tie people with ropes, make them beg and flog the hell out of them—consensually, of course.

Voyeurism

Your kink is voyeurism! Girl, you get turned on by being watched while engaging in a sexual act or over the idea of watching another person enjoying themselves. Whenever you’re in a public space—at a park, the cinema, in the car— you want to get off. Be careful, though, this is Nigeria; it’s all fun and games till you get caught.

Gerentophilia

Your kink is gerontophilia! You like to get it on with way older people. Some may say you have mummy or daddy issues, but you’re just a patriotic citizen who understands the significance of the elderly in today’s society. As a pro tip, remember your partner may have a weak heart, so take it easy on them.

Fictiosexual

You’re fictosexual! You can’t really maintain a relationship because your dream man/ woman only exists in books or movies. We know that whenever you lose yourself in a steamy romance novel with a too-good-to-be-true protagonist, you get turned on *wink wink*

Scat Play

Your kink is scat play! Girl, you’re freaky freaky -- the smell, taste or feel of faeces turns you on. Just try not to get sick and die from E. coli, and you might get the chance for a fully paid trip to Dubai for a porta-potty party!

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