Ah ‘the ick’, a feeling we know all too well. The feeling of repulse, instant turn off and cringe feeling towards a person you are involved with romantically which seems to come out of nowhere has been dubbed ‘the ick’. From personal experience, ‘The ick’ is no respecter of persons or relationship status. Neither is ‘the ick’ gender specific. You can get ‘the ick’ when hanging out with a friend, prospective partner, boyfriend or girlfriend, and for some, even your family members.
Most people experience ‘the ick’ when seeing someone new and once this possible suitor has been associated with ‘the ick’, the feeling seems almost impossible to shake off. One minute you are fantasizing about a baecation in Maui, next thing you cannot help how repulsed the image of when you caught them picking their nose at dinner makes you feel.
At times, an ‘ick’ might be your intuition highlighting a red flag and telling you to run in the opposite direction, like when a man openly supports stingy men association. It also can be for something as little as leaving the toilet seat up, or adding water to your half empty Listerine bottle to make it “last longer”.
We asked a few Nigerian women to share the times they got ‘the ick’ when dating and this is what they said:
Demilade, 25 Straight
Call me toxic but I get ‘the ick’ when a guy is overly excited to see me or is too needy. Lowkey even when he replies my messages early, like why are you excited about me when I am yet to make up my mind about you? Give me some space to miss you. I had to call it off with a guy because he was too needy and clingy, I could not contain my irritation. I like my men distant. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it certainly is mine.
Chi Chi, 24 Straight
Uneven nails give me ‘the ick’ and PTSD. I cannot be the only one who seeing long fingernails on guys reminds them of a creepy predatory math teacher they had in school. It gets worse when they are not even the same length! I was dating a guy who adamantly refused to cut his pinkie fingernail. I could not hold his hand without feeling sick and one day he thought it would be funny to scratch me with it. The minute I got in my Uber after our date I blocked him without remorse.
Torise, 28 Straight
I went on a couple of dates with this guy, but it was not anything serious which at the time was supposed to be a win win situation, but he was so immature it made me sick. He would get into physical fights publicly, his mother was still doing his laundry, clubbing on a Tuesday (no offense), had zero plans for his future and he is well into his 30s. During a conversation I asked him what his plans were, and he laughed in my face. The only way I can describe how I felt is ‘ick’.
Sharon, 22 Straight
My boyfriend is a bad kisser. I got ‘the ick’ after our first kiss and I was so sure it would be our last because it was gross. I totally relate to the episode of girlfriends were Maya got ‘the ick’ and lost all interest in Stan after one terrible kiss. Only difference is I stayed with him. I would not say I have any regrets because he is a fantastic boyfriend, but I have to reject him sometimes because I do not want my mouth feeling like a slip n’ slide. I love him all the same and he is improving but after enduring a bad kiss, you are bound to get ‘the ick’.
Stephany, 23 Straight
I had connected with a guy via a dating app during lockdown and we vibed instantly. We went from texting to hour long phone calls, then graduated to Facetiming and he was easy on the eyes. I really believed I had found “the one”. We finally were able to meet up after months of talking. I remember walking up to him and getting weak in the knees only to go in for a hug and he had body odor. His odor was making me gag and I was trying so hard to not be rude. All the feelings I had developed over the months dissolved along with my sense of smell. It was such an ‘ick’ moment!
Tolani, 27 Bisexual
I was really starting to like this guy until I saw his butt crack, I almost screamed. We hadn’t yet gone on an official date or hangout, we were just meeting up through mutual friends until one afternoon, we went out for ice cream and as he was getting out of the car, I saw it. I cringed so hard, every sexual attraction I felt towards him disappeared.
Michelle, 24 Straight
Men that refer to girls as ‘dear’ and ‘darling’. I can’t stand it, it makes my ears melt. What is that?
I was so into this one guy I was seeing sometime ago, and I mean my whole body all the way to my vagina wanted him, until the day he called me dear. My vagina closed up, I just couldn’t. Don’t get me wrong, different strokes for different folks, but as for me I can’t stand it.
Some names have been changed.
When it comes to ‘the ick’, I would say to each his own. As crazy as this phenomenon may seem, there are psychological facts to shed more light on what we know as ‘the ick’. We watch couples experience ‘the ick’ in some of our favorite tv shows and if we listen closely in on conversations with our friends, we would be surprised how many times they have experienced the same thing. All this leaves us wondering, is ‘the ick’ destined for every budding relationship, and should it be a deal breaker? Perhaps this is where compromise comes in and learning to love and accept the person you choose to be with, quirks and all.