Have you ever cringed so hard at the way a friend thinks? Like, it’s almost impossible to fathom how they can reason the way they do? Or have you ever rolled your eyes at a potential partner over the way handled a situation? It goes without saying that there are some general etiquette rules that should always be adhered to when it comes to friendships and dating. From splitting the bill evenly in group dinners to finding the right time to serve someone breakfast, we’ve put together this guide (inspired by an insightful article in The Cut) on how to better approach certain situations with friends and lovers.
1. Don’t argue with your partner in front of your friends.
If you and your partner find yourselves about to start an argument in the midst of your friends, just resist the urge. No matter how badly you need to prove you’re right and bae is in the wrong, just save it for later when you’re alone. And if it’s so impossible for you to wait, do not involve your friends and have them weigh in on the argument. “Simi, come. Clearly he’s the one at fault, right?” girl.. no.
2. While on a date if you realise you’re doing all the talking, ask yourself, When was the last time I asked a question?
No one likes a self-absorbed talkative. Be aware of how long you’re going on and on about your life and take a moment to ask a question or let the other person speak.
3. It’s okay to ghost after one date.
Let’s say you met up for drinks after work and and ended the evening by “agreeing” to “do this another time.” Now it’s 3-4 days later and you’re wondering what you owe this person you’re not so interested in seeing again. At this point, you’ve only been on one date so it’s fine to say nothing because neither of you has put in so much energy or effort into getting to know each other. However, if you’ve both been texting since the date, and you’ve somewhat made plans about going on another one, then it would just be awful to ghost.
4. And if you choose to ghost, just stay gone forever.
What I will never understand is, ghosting someone and then coming back months or years later. To do what? you’re not my friend, you’re not an acquaintance, so wtf do you want?
5. Don’t wait for “the right time” to serve someone breakfast.
Because there will never be a right time. Don’t procrastinate or postpone breaking up with someone because it will inevitably take a toll on you and you’ll end up making the other person feel even worse.
6. Don’t date the guy who’s been chasing you for years.
Because he will pay you back in tears and show you what? shege!
7. If you’re a sexually active adult, you should own lube.
Your vagina will thank you.
Read: If You Aren’t Having Sex With Lube, You’re Dulling
8. Don’t accept a compliment with a compliment.
A compliment that follows a compliment just sounds kinda forced. “I like your skirt” .. “Oh. Thanks. I like your shoes.” Even if it’s sincere, it will always sound fake. A simple “thank you” will suffice.
9. For group dinners with friends, always split the bill evenly.
Tbh this is the worst part of dining with friends. The arrival of the check. Suddenly everyone restless and starts to go over what they had to eat. How many drinks did you have? Who got what? She only ordered a salad. I only ordered a starter. Again, it’s the worst. The easy solution to this is to split the bill evenly. It doesn’t matter what you ordered, split the bill evenly. You can pay on one card and then have everyone transfer to your account immediately. It’s the easiest, hassle-free solution.
10. If your friend is dating someone you hate, you can only communicate your concerns once.
We all know the key to managing your friendship when a friend has a toxic partner, is to keep your opinions to yourself (unless they are being hurt.) And if you just so badly need to communicate your reservations – you should only do this once. After that, it’s up to your friend to decide what they want to do next and you can’t bring it up again, unless they directly ask you.
11. Don’t bring up past mistakes in an argument, especially if you forgave them for it.
Don’t be that person.
12. Never borrow a friend money that you can’t afford to lose.
Because who wants to be chasing a friend up and down? It’s not fun. Next thing they’ll tell you, “but I thought you were a big girl”.
13. If you’ve committed to an outing with a friend, don’t leave them for man.
Women who prioritise their female-friendships > boy-crazy women. Not in 2023 please.
14. Always defend a friend in public, even if they are in the wrong.
When you’re both alone, you can clear your friend and put them in check. Just don’t put them down or speak ill about them in the midst of other people.
15. If you like them, text them the same day of hanging out.
If I don’t receive a text from you within three hours after hanging out, or at least on the same day, I’m just going to assume you didn’t have a good time and you aren’t interested. Something as subtle as “I had a good time. Hope you got home safe?” would cut it. It simply tells me you’re a decent human being and possibly interested in hanging out another time.
Share your own etiquette rules in the comments!