If you’re reading this, chances are that Valentine’s— the day of red roses, heart balloons and being coupled up—, is upon us, but you have nobody to spend it with. Like many other single women, you may feel a bit out of place when you see people make romantic plans for that day with their partners. Many romance novels and movies have dazzled us with a single narrative of what love is when in reality, love shows up as many things, including self-love. There’s nothing tragic about being single on V-day. In fact, spending that day alone can be incredible. After all, the person in life that you are certain you will always be with, is yourself!
Whether you’re happily single, stuck in a situationship or still recovering from a bad breakup, a Solo Valentine comes with many perks. First of all, you don’t have to spend so much time or money picking out a present for someone else, and you don’t have to pretend to like something a love interest gifted you. You also don’t have to worry about being uncomfortable in heels, or struggling to make small talk at an overpriced, and overcrowded restaurant—these are only a few of the many struggles those in romantic relationships don’t parrot.
On Valentine’s Day, being single means you get to choose to do whatever it is that genuinely sparks joy in your life. From a sultry boudoir photography session to a solo dinner, here’s how to make the most of V-day like it was custom-made for you:
Plan A Movie Marathon
There has got to be at least 2 films you’ve added to your Netflix Watchlist. Valentine’s Day is an ideal day to indulge in an all-night movie marathon. Change into comfy pyjamas, dim your lights, grab your blankets, soft pillows, and all the snacks that you’re craving (that you don’t have to share), curl up into your couch and hit the play button on your favourite feel-good movies.
Level up your binge-fest by choosing movies based on a theme (think: Bridgerton or Sex and The City for romance; Harry Potter or Twilight for fantasy)
Still lost on what to watch on that day? Check out our best movie recommendations.
Indulge in a Spa Day
Looking good equals feeling good. If you’re up for some luxurious treatment, pamper yourself by booking a spa day; complete with facials, manis, pedis and a massage that will make you feel absolutely divine.
Working with a budget? Transform your home into the ultimate DIY Spa. We are talking hydrating face sheets, scented candles, bubble baths, wine and the personal massager hidden in your drawer (*wink wink*). Whatever you do, sink into a day of relaxation, because baby, you deserve it.
Take Yourself Out for Lunch or Dinner
There are only a few things in this world that are quite as satisfying as getting dressed however you want and going to your favourite restaurant to order meals that elicit moans (see, you get to moan on that day too). Carry a solo board game or a good book with you so you don’t feel salty by the insane amount of PDA you’re bound to witness.
On the other hand, you can invite a friend to come with you, and if you’re feeling up to some theatrics, you both can fake a marriage proposal to get desserts on the house.
Spread Love by Gifting Someone Flowers
Perhaps you have a friend whose partner recently passed away? Or a friend who happens to be your single partner-in-crime? You might not be getting flowers on that day, but you can put a smile on the face of someone you love by channelling your inner florist to create a gorgeous bouquet for them.
Start a New Book
Travel to a whole new world on the 14th of February without moving your feet, by picking up a new book. Whether you choose a chilling thriller to take your mind off the sappiness of the day or an erotica, to fantasize about a fictional lover, it’s all about immersing yourself in another reality and letting your imagination run wild.
Book a Boudoir Photoshoot
There’s no single rule that says you need to get a significant other before taking intimate pictures of yourself. During Valentine’s period, many lingerie vendors offer juicy sales on their products. Make excellent use of the super sexy vibe V-day brings by picking something spicy for yourself and getting your pictures taken.
There’s no pressure to post these photos on social media or send them to anyone else, it exists for your viewing pleasure. Whenever you’re feeling down, go through the album of your fire nudes and remind yourself that you’re *everything*.
Cook Yourself Some Soul Food
Cooking food to nourish your body is one thing, cooking food to nourish your soul makes for a transcendent experience. Whether it’s the bowls of soup your mother cooked on special occasions or the firewood jollof recipe passed down in your family; Valentine’s Day calls you to prepare plates of happiness that evoke your most tender memories—ones that fill you with comfort and joy.
Avoid Social Media
Seriously, this is an underrated self-care tip. If you struggle with being happily single, social media on Valentine’s Day will stress you out. Log out from all your socials to avoid comparing yourself to others and being marketed too. As you make the wise choice to focus on the present and step away from loads of curated content about what a love-filled life is supposed to look like, you can either engage yourself in productive activities, your favourite hobbies or finish that big project you’ve been procrastinating on.
Throw a Galantine’s Day Party
Invite your favourite girlfriends and toast to the irreplaceable value of female friendships, as well as the awkwardness of failed attempts at love—that unexpected breakfast that was served to you or that icky first date with your crush that you smiled your way through knowing he will never set eyes on you again.
Book a Solo Trip
Think of that destination that has long intrigued you and book your aeroplane tickets there. A solo trip can seem daunting, but on the other side of your fear, is a thrilling and liberating experience. It presents an opportunity for you to live out your whimsical travel dreams without having to compromise with a partner.
Bask in the joys, solitude and self-mastery that singlehood offers, and allow the freedom to serve you in deciding the best way you can spend Valentine’s Day. Chidera Eggerue (The Slumflower) said it best: “What a time to be alone!”
