So while everyone was dettying their December, you were busy falling in love with an IJGB (I Just Got Back). Eh, fine girl?
Catching feelings was never in your plans—it just happened. It was Christmas in Nigeria, you and your IJGB love interest had the best time ever: jumping from one lit party to the hottest rave, to a fancy restaurant, maybe a cozy day at the beach, perhaps y’all even crossed-over into the new year at church together. Joy and laughter was in abundance over the holidays and you got to share it with this person who has a sexy accent that made your pussy wet, and a wallet filled with currency more valuable than Naira that made your heart melt. It’s easy to get trapped in love when you find yourself in such a situation.
Now, your IJGB lover is leaving and you don’t want things to fizzle out. Perhaps, you both are on the same page on how much you care about each other, and want to explore various ways to nurture a long distance situationship relationship? Cool, keep reading!

First things first: Abort Mission
Girrllll, are you being serious right now?! You really continued reading on how to nurture an IJGB romance that has now become long distance? Well, newsflash: IJGB romances are only for a good time and not a long time. They end when the other person GOES BACK.

You might be wondering why it has to be that way. The answer is: falling in love at a time when there are festivities upon festivities may cloud your judgement when it comes to deciding if someone is the right person for you—and not just the right person to have a good time with. The dopamine that comes with Detty December activities mixed with the adrenaline rush of getting to know someone you find attractive? That’s crack. So what happens is, when the holidays end, and you both get back to reality, and find that there’s not much to sustain the initial high you both were on while in close proximity, it dawns on you that your IJGB isn’t your soulmate. You realise that this person was merely just a much-needed escape from the mundanity of life. Yes, it was sweet while it lasted,we know that, but honestly no need to push it, else, it just might get a bit sour.
Butttttttttt, if in your heart of hearts, you truly believe what you and your IJGB share is special, and transcends the fleeting dopamine of the holidays, continue reading (for real this time around).
Communicate intentionally
The lack of physical presence between you two may mean you both need to put in extra effort into checking in on each other regularly, as well as making sure your partner feels seen, respected and valued when they communicate with you. Uncommunicated expectations will lead to disappointment and worse, resentment. So, make sure you’re on the same page as them when it comes to how often you guys should be talking, at what times you can talk (assuming there are multiple time zones involved) and how long is too long to go without communicating.
Because it is a long distance romance, you might feel a certain pressure when it comes to what things you want to talk about—you most likely want to keep this person engaged. But remember, even though you guys are far apart, it’s still the early stage of your relationship, have fun with it. Talk about the big things (your hopes, goals, fears, the alarming rate men are killing women in Nigeria) and the small things as well (insignificant details about your day, the color of the socks you wore to the gym and the snack in your neighbourhood that has been toasting you, so he doesn’t mistakenly forget you’re in popular demand).
Flirt, like mad
You and your IJGB bobo met at an extremely exciting time, so you need to do your own part in ensuring they can still feel your fun side and remain head over heels in love. That can be a bit tricky to achieve when you’re thousands of miles apart.
Learn their love language and show affection accordingly. If they are a gifts kinda person, send a surprise package to their place, maybe their favourite Nigerian meal or something they have been talking about forever. If she appreciates physical touch, and you’re comfortable with it (your comfort is very important), look up ways to sext properly and stop turning eba when you’re asking your bae the first thing she will do when you’re finally alone in a room together. If he appreciates words of affirmation, maybe you can go on X and use ‘my man, my man, my man…’ tweets to burst his head and finish all your single followers. You get the gist.
But as you are flirting, please, ensure your efforts are being reciprocated.
Ask him how soon he can start helping to process your visa, so you can join him over there
And when he is taken aback by your audacity, tell him “who no like better thing?”

Don’t wait for him to initiate the plans for when next you guys are going to reunite. Chances are, he might drag his legs till the end of the year (the next Detty December). When he is finally ready, he will whine with the infamous line, “ You’re the only reason why I am coming back to Nigeria”. Sis, that is a lie from the pit of hell. Don’t make the rookie mistake of fantasizing and planning for a man who intends to come back to the country to do Detty December 2.0, by recreating with another babe, the enjoyment you showed him the previous year. Don’t give him that chance!
Take matters into your own hands and be the one to travel to go and see him. Let him know that he doesn’t need to stress himself since you’re the only reason he is coming back to this hot country. Nigeria don tire you, so you guys can meet in the abroad. Besides, you have both experienced Nigeria together, a change of scenery will definitely keep the spark between you two alive.
P.S—this time around, he’s in charge of your transport fare.
Go outside and touch grass
In a bid to win the world’s most loyal girlfriend you might get the urge to be chronically indoors to avoid temptations. Don’t. Remember you had a life long before they boarded a plane to your city, and that life should still exist after they are long gone. Ensure you continue to live your best life. In fact, the best way to keep him on his toes is by reminding him that your life still thrives even in his absence, rather than sulking and waiting for his return like a 90s housewife whose husband is at war. Invest in your hobbies. Go on dates with your friends. Don’t turn down oblees indiscriminately.
Most importantly, don’t give yourself headache trying to constantly monitor his movement. How you wan hack am? There’s only so much you can know about his whereabouts when you’re in Festac and he is all the way in Birmingham. Just believe that he is on his best behavior and focus on doing you—plenty other opportunities for him to reveal his true intentions will arise, you hear?
In this house, we love love and we admire lover girls who won’t back down from something as seemingly delusional as a long distance romance with an IJGB. Our honest prayer is that things don’t end in premium tears. However, as a follow up, we think you should get acquainted with our *excellent* advice on how to heal from a heartbreak —you might not need it now oh, but just bookmark it, you will thank us later.