Mothers are truly invaluable, that’s why we have like six Mother’s Days in a year. If you’ve ever wondered why yet another day of the year is dedicated to women who have children, you have your answer. A mother is the closest thing to a god on earth—nurturing life itself within her. And beyond that, many of them carry on with a life of selfless sacrifice and tireless dedication, leaving an indelible mark on the hearts of their children.
In honour of Mother’s Day, we spoke with nine Nigerian women to explore the unique bonds they share with their mothers and the sweetest thing their mums have ever done for them. Read this interview to understand why there can never be enough days in a year dedicated to celebrating our mothers.
What Do You Call Your Mother?
Debby, (26): Mummy.
Hilda, (19): Mama or Mrs. (Her first name) one of (my dad’s village).
Chioma, (25): Her name is Kikelomo and I call her Kiks. But only when she’s in a good mood, please.
Sarah, (20): Mother of Nations.
Amaka, (25): Love of my life or bestie.
Kenny, (24): Mum.
Kamie, (21): I call her “babybaby” which is a fond nickname my dad has for her, “Mummy” or by her title “nwanyi malu ogo”.
Adaeze, (27): I call my mom by her first name.
Queen, (24): Mummy.
How Will You Describe Your Relationship With Your Mother?
Debby: From an outsider’s point of view, the relationship I have with my mom comes off as very interesting.
Hilda: My mom wasn’t always my friend, but when I moved to another country for university, she became my very good friend.
Chioma: Our relationship has its ups and downs. We were very close during my secondary school years, but that closeness faded over time. However, we grew closer again during a difficult period at home when n when something sad happened and she got depressed. She didn’t term what was happening to her as depression, until a few years later when we were able to start laughing at the situation. Currently, we’re not as close as usual, but there’s no animosity either. It’s just a natural ebb and flow in our relationship.
Sarah: I have a very free, open, and loving relationship with my mother.
Amaka: There’s no better way to explain it other than, it’s a typical Mother-daughter relationship.
Kenny: It can be way better, but I am not complaining. She ensures I have my basic needs, but in the emotional aspect, we have never clicked.
Kamie: I hope she doesn’t read this but it’s a very tempestuous relationship.
Adaeze: My relationship with my mother has always been smooth. She’s caring and listens.
Queen: The relationship I have with my mother is unlike any other I’ve seen, at least in Nigeria. It’s less of the typical mother-daughter relationship and more of a sisterhood. My mom had me at a very young age so that affected the usual “parents are superior” dynamics we see every day. My mother understands me, in a way no one else has been able to.
What Do You Like Most About Your Mom?
Debby: Her resilience and strength, definitely.
Hilda: My mom is very funny and has the most distinct laughter. I love her faith and how she’s fearless. I love how she loves and believes in my brother and I.
Chioma: My mom doesn’t age, she is stunning.
Sarah: My mom is always there to listen to my issues, whatever they may be.
Amaka: She loves me.
Kenny: If I’m being honest, there’s not much of my mom’s personality traits that I admire that come to mind. I love her but if she wasn’t my mother, just a random person I knew, we probably wouldn’t like each other.
Kamie: I adore her accommodating spirit and her general attitude to life. Nothing can make my mother sad.
Adaeze: Her endurance and fight. She’s the strongest woman I know.
Queen: My favourite thing about my mother is her resilience and lack of shame. Apparently, getting pregnant as a teenager in Nigeria will make you immune to a lot of bullshit expectations from society. My mom’s non-chalentness in that regard has been great for my self-confidence and esteem. None of my insecurities as a woman come from my mom.
What Is The Sweetest Thing Your Mom Has Ever Done For You?
Debbie: There’s a way my mom always shows up for me when I’m sick. She literally turns into my personal chef and doctor during those periods. It’s so warming to experience that kind of care.
Hilda: There are a lot of things my mum has done for me that I can’t even begin to say. There was a period when I was having bad anxiety because of my uni exams. I’d not be able to sleep and if I did, I would wake up involuntarily in tears and won’t be able to go back to bed. During that period, my mom would always pick up my calls to comfort me in the middle of the night. And oh boy, she possesses the power to make me feel so good. The reason I want to succeed in life is to spoil her silly.
Chioma: I can say that my mom taught me how to be a very feminine woman and it’s one of the things I like the most about myself. As a teenager especially, she gave me a kind introduction to puberty and womanhood. We had an insightful sex ed talk, she let me experiment with fashion and makeup, she drove me to my first teenage parties and she allowed herself to be a safe space for me to echo my curiosities about the world.
Sarah: I guess I will say bringing me into the world.
Amaka: It can’t be pinned to one, cause every day she does something sweeter and better, I have to discard the previous one I thought was the sweetest. But a consistent sweet thing she does is pray for me. I just know that God is by my side because of my mother.
Kenny: The sweetest thing my mom has ever done for me is pay for my vacation outside Africa. It’s a little of a big deal because I come from an average middle-class family, but my mom felt it was important that as a young adult, I have the experience of travelling out of the country. That was a really kind gesture.
Kamie: There are too many! The first is leading me to Christ when I was young and now as a mother myself, having her to tell me how to manage my challenges is a treasure that I cannot evaluate.
Adaeze: The sweetest thing my mother has ever done for me is take care of me while I had COVID-19. I caught the virus very early when there were still speculations on how dangerous and contagious it could be. Many immunocompromised people and old people were dying in droves because of the virus. I caught it, and despite all the scary news going around, my mom came to live with me until I recovered. She barely observed any safety precautions when caring for me. It’s one thing to hear someone say they will die for you, it’s another thing to see them actually put their life on the line like that.
Queen: That’s difficult to answer, but if I were to pick one thing, the sweetest thing ever is her not choosing to remarry and make more babies. This might sound selfish but it’s been us against the world for a very long time and honestly, I won’t have it any other way.
*Names were changed and the interview was edited for the sake of privacy and clarity.
