As a child, I took ballet and fell at a somewhat decent level on the flexibility scale. So when I was in my late teens and began sexually exploring with another person, certain angles and positions weren’t all that difficult for me. After a few years of almost no stretching or dancing whatsoever, as a young adult, I started to realise I could no longer widen and angle my hips the way I once could. For a multitude of reasons, I was very displeased by that. I couldn’t do basic things without cramping so badly that I would be in pain for almost the entire day. There was so much tension in my hips that I would go as far as to say it was excruciating. It put me in the worse moods, and every time I was stressed, I would feel it in my joints. I also absolutely hated that I couldn’t relax into the clitoral stimulation that comes from being on top while dry-humping my sexual partner(s). My hips were too freaking tight. If you’ve ever been with someone somewhat significantly bigger(in size and height) than you or if you’re a small person, you knoww what I mean!
I knew it was time for a change. I started stretching again. Sometimes, I would forget, put it off or be unable to make the time for weeks. Usually, when this happens, I’ll do light floor stretches and, almost every day, spine twists/micro dance routines that keep my hip joints and back as ‘tense-free’ as possible. Occasionally, if I know I’m about to get some, I’d try to stretch the day before, the day of or right there in bed[or wherever ;)]. That was a band-aid, though, not a solution.
When I continued to cramp at the most inconvenient times (like simply walking down the street?), I knew I had to make my stretching routine much more frequent. It moved from being about wanting to have a better sex life to wanting to have a healthier life, period. It was also incredibly frustrating watching myself struggle through stretching positions I could once do easily. I’m not where I once was, but I haven’t felt as good as I have since I started regularly stretching my hips. Of course, it, in turn, has done wonders for my sex life.
Aduke, a certified yoga instructor dedicated to guiding her students on a transformative journey toward holistic health and well-being in a safe environment — states that “Stretching and strengthening the muscles in the lower body and hips can be achieved through consistent practice of hip-opening yoga poses and they include several sexual health benefits like stimulation of blood flow to the pelvic area, strengthening the pelvic muscles and enhancing sexual pleasure. They relax the tension in the lower body, which increases the range of motion and flexibility to try out various sex positions while enhancing stamina to stay in these unconventional positions for extended periods.
These hip-opening yoga poses additionally boost your awareness to prevent drifting off so you can fully experience sexual pleasure with your body and mind. They help alleviate tension and anxiety, allowing the body to relax and relish sex. Yoga improves our experience of recognising our emotions and invites us to observe and acknowledge them with the connection of the body, breath and mind.”
While Faith Onyesom, a Lagos-based certified yoga teacher with 6 years of teaching experience to beginners and experienced yogis alike, — agrees that “yeah, opening your hips can improve sexual experiences”, she stresses that that’s not the primary goal of yoga. “The goal is relaxation, enabling you to do what you want, whether it’s sexual experiences, workouts, or simply sitting without back pain.”
Onyesom shares that the hip joint, being the body’s largest, shoulders the responsibility(with help from the spine) of supporting and maintaining the body’s upright posture. Muscles in the back and hips have a network of connections extending down to the legs, with the glutes playing a pivotal role in linking various muscle groups. If your hips are tight due to lifestyle factors like prolonged sitting or lack of athletic activities, you can start to accumulate tension in certain muscles. Neglecting to stretch these muscles leads to a build-up of said tension over time.
She added that trauma, at its simplest, is your emotional response to an event and how your relationship with the emotion that comes out of that event evolves. When a traumatic event occurs, your body initiates a protective response in the brain, activating a flight, fight or freeze mechanism which releases our stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline to protect us from the perceived danger. These hormones will make you tense up and hold onto that tension so you’re prepared for whatever might happen. It’s like bracing for impact. If that event isn’t resolved or you don’t get a resolution, that trauma is then stored in your body. The Psoas muscle reacts swiftly in anticipation of potential threats or anger, causing the body to tense and heat up. Unaddressed issues accumulate tension, putting a cap on our body’s natural abilities and functions, including stress management.
As such, we use yoga poses to tackle problem areas. Once you start tackling an area like the hips, the lower back or tight hamstrings may also experience relief. When you pause, take breaks, and slow down while doing hip-opening yoga poses, connecting your breath with the movement fosters a meditative energy. This relaxation is crucial. Connecting movement with breath slows down your brain, releasing cortisol and adrenaline hormones, shifting your nervous system from fight or flight to rest and relaxation. Regular deep breathing ensures muscles receive adequate oxygen, alleviating stress and calming the mind. By slowing down, focusing on your breath, and practising mindfulness during poses, overall well-being improves significantly, paving the way for enhanced experiences, including a more relaxed and creative approach to sexuality.
It’s not about yoga and sex; it’s about relaxation, which can enhance various aspects of life, including sexual experiences, by allowing your brain the space and energy for creativity and exploration.
Faith Onyesom
Onyesom hosts weekly group & private classes, as well as corporate yoga sessions & retreats that focus on the philosophy of yoga, blending physical yoga postures (asana), breathwork, mindfulness, meditation and aromatherapy to promote balance and well-being with her clients. Her sessions create a space that offers relief from stress and tension while inspiring daily life transformation.
With the help of three experts, I’ve outlined seven hip-opening yoga poses we all agree are perfect for stretching out and opening tight hips. Our third expert, The Pleasure Priest describes herself— “I am The Pleasure Priest and I like to call myself ‘Idamu Adugbo’, a Yoruba phrase that loosely translates into society’s nemesis. This is because of my practice as a sex educator and sensual/sensuous-movement performance artist in the Nigerian society that’s highly sexual yet considers sexual & sensual explorations a taboo, especially for women. My work is an oxymoron, evident from my name. I show up in the sensuality/sensuousness field as The Pleasure Priest and in the sexuality field as Whore D’oeuvre. My work highlights the dynamic relationship of humans (women) as a fine blend of sensual, sensuous and sexual beings, yet delicately posits that one be removed from the other as much as it preaches that they are intertwined. To be sexual is to be sensual and sensuous. However, sensuality and sensuousness needn’t be sexual. In building a women-based community that’s helping women explore their multi-orgasmic nature in the bedroom and as they move in the world, I organize community through workshops and performances.”
The lineup below can be practised as a short routine at any time of the day. In its ascending order, this ‘routine’ was recommended by Aduke. Onyesom advises that you perform each position to the level where you are comfortable because it is essential that “you can relax into it.” If it hurts too much, you’ll be too tense, increasing your pain. She suggests staying in each position for 3 *deep* breath flows. To learn her version of this routine, read to the end of this article.
Aduke appends that she would definitely start this routine with a warm-up inclusive of a few Goddess Squats and lunges to heat the pelvic area, because she wouldn’t want to start the routine cold turkey.
Now, let’s explore these yoga poses and their benefits for our overall emotional and sexual health.
Yoga Squat (Malasana)
Regularly practising this pose improves hip flexibility and strengthens your legs and core muscles.
Step-by-Step Guide to Yoga Squat Position
- Start by standing with your feet slightly wider than hip-width apart.
- Turn your toes slightly outward to help with balance and alignment.
- Bend your knees and lower your hips towards the ground as if you’re sitting back into a chair.
- Keep your chest lifted and your spine straight. Engage your core muscles to support your lower back.
- Bring your palms together in front of your chest, pressing them firmly together.
- Use your elbows to gently push your knees outward, opening up your hips.
- Keep your weight in your heels as much as possible to prevent straining your knees.
- Take slow, deep breaths as you hold the pose for 3 0 seconds to a minute, or as long as comfortable.
- To come out of the pose, straighten your legs and stand up tall, releasing your hands back to your sides.
- Shake out your legs and take a moment to notice how your hips and lower body feel after the stretch.
Aduke
This position increases circulation in the lower body, especially the pelvic region, which regulates sexual energy. It strengthens and stretches the pelvic floor when you activate the groin, quads, and inner thighs, thereby lifting through the ankles. It also clears stagnant energy as you ground your feet down, sending this energy out of the body and stabilizing your emotions.
Pleasure Priest
In this pose, your groin, glutes, and hamstrings are stretched, thereby increasing your hip mobility and helping to alleviate lower back pain. It also gives more kick to your ankles & calves, which helps with sex positions that involve you getting on top or when you just want to give your partner a mindblowing lap dance.
Faith
The yoga squat opens the hips and stretches out your ankles, calves, groin, and glutes. In a way, it also stretches your feet because when you go into a deep squat like that, your feet and ankles fold more than they would on a day-to-day basis, and that can be really good. It also helps with your lower back.
Frog Pose (Mandukasana)
Regularly practising this position improves hip flexibility and strengthens the muscles in your inner thighs and pelvic region.
Step-by-Step Guide to Frog Pose
- Begin on your hands and knees in a tabletop position, with your wrists directly under your shoulders and your knees under your hips.
- Slowly widen your knees, keeping your feet in line with them. Your shins should be perpendicular to the floor.
- Lower your hips down toward the floor, aiming to bring them in line with your knees. You can use your hands to support yourself as you lower down.
- Keep your spine long and your chest lifted. Avoid rounding your back or collapsing into your shoulders.
- Engage your core muscles to support your lower back and pelvis.
- Hold the pose for 30 seconds to 1 minute, breathing deeply and relaxing into the stretch.
- To come out of the pose, press into your hands and slowly lift your hips back up. Bring your knees back together to return to the tabletop position.
- Take a moment to rest in Child’s Pose or any comfortable seated position, allowing your hips to release any tension.
Faith
It’s a deep, deep hip-opening stretch. I recommend having pillows around for this one if your hips are really tight. I wouldn’t call it advanced, but it is more of an intermediate hip stretch. It’s a really deep opening that helps with flexibility around the hips. The groin and inner thigh also get a good stretch.
Aduke
This pose targets the groin, inner thighs, and outer hips. It promotes a strong pelvic muscle, which improves circulation in the genital area. It also makes the legs more open for increased flexibility and a wider range of motion with the lower body.
Pleasure priest
An intense hip opener, this pose will stretch your inner thighs, groin, and hips. In addition, frog pose involves stretching and compressing the pelvic region, which can promote better blood circulation and improved blood flow to the entire pelvic floor area. It also does a great deal in the stress release department, and nobody wants to be stressed in bed. Adding to that is the fact that your “twerk muscles” will be activated too!
Lizard Pose(Utthan Pristasana)
Regularly practising this pose stretches the hip flexors, groin, and hamstrings, improves hip mobility, and strengthens the core and upper body.
Step-by-Step Guide to Lizard Pose
- Start in a high plank position with your hands shoulder-width apart and your body in a straight line from head to heels.
- Step your right foot forward between your hands, bringing your knee directly over your ankle.
- Lower your left knee to the mat, untucking your toes.
- Walk your right foot slightly to the right, making space for your right shoulder and hip to move forward.
- Lower your forearms to the mat inside your right foot, keeping your elbows under your shoulders.
- Flex your right foot and engage your right thigh, pressing it gently towards your right.
Faith
Lizard Pose is another favourite of mine, as it stretches the hips and inner thighs and is great for the lower back. This pose offers multiple variations, such as doing a lunge with your hands inside of your knee rather than framing your leg, providing different levels of intensity and stretch. You can choose to do the pose on your palms or come down on your elbows, and using blocks can be beneficial as well. Lizard Pose specifically targets the hip flexors, stretching the front of your hips and the muscles surrounding that area.
Aduke
Lizard pose strengthens and stretches the hip flexors, hamstrings, and groin and improves circulation in the pelvic area before settling into pigeon pose.
Pigeon Pose (Kapotasana)
Regularly practising this pose helps improve hip flexibility, relieve tension, and promote relaxation.
Step-by-Step Guide to Pigeon Pose
- Begin in a tabletop position on your hands and knees, with your wrists directly under your shoulders and your knees under your hips.
- Slide your right knee forward towards your right wrist, aiming to place your right ankle near your left wrist. Your shin will be diagonal across your mat.
- Extend your left leg straight back behind you, keeping your hips square and level.
- Flex your right foot to protect your knee and ankle. If you feel discomfort in your knee, you can place a cushion or folded blanket under your right hip for support.
- Inhale as you lengthen your spine, lifting your chest and gently arching your back.
- Exhale as you slowly lower your upper body towards the floor, bringing your forearms down to the mat in front of you.
- Rest your forehead on your forearms or on the mat, whichever is more comfortable for you.
- Relax and breathe deeply in this position, feeling the stretch in your right hip and glute.
- Hold the pose for 30 seconds to 1 minute, focusing on deep, even breaths.
- To release the pose, press into your hands and slowly lift your upper body back up. Slide your right knee back to meet your left knee in the tabletop position.
- Repeat the pose on the other side by sliding your left knee forward and extending your right leg back.
Aduke
The pigeon pose focuses on opening the hips, especially the hip flexors and glutes. It also alleviates back pain. It’s advisable to do this after the Lizard pose.
Faith
One great aspect of the pigeon pose is its versatility; you can perform it in various ways. For instance, if you experience knee tension during the standard pigeon pose, there are alternative variations available. Therefore, the traditional pigeon pose depicted in pictures may be too intense if you encounter significant knee discomfort. In such cases, there is an alternative, where you lie on your back with one ankle crossed over the opposite knee—this variation is called the reclining figure four stretch. This pose effectively stretches the glutes, hips, and thighs, including your quads. Additionally, it induces deep relaxation, especially when synchronized with controlled breathing through the nose, enhancing the overall experience of these poses.
Happy Baby Pose (Amanda Balasana)
Regularly practising this pose stretches the inner thighs and groin, relieves lower back tension, and promotes relaxation.
Step-by-Step Guide to Happy Baby Pose
- Lie on your back on the mat(or floor) with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
- Exhale and draw your knees towards your chest.
- Inhale, reach for the outside edges of your feet or ankles with your hands.
- Open your knees wider than your torso, bringing them towards your armpits.
- Flex your feet, pressing your heels towards the ceiling.
- Keep your tailbone(lower back) grounded as you gently pull down on your feet, creating a stretch in your inner thighs and hips.
- Relax your shoulders and lengthen your spine, finding a comfortable position for your neck and head.
- Hold the pose for 30 seconds to 1 minute, breathing deeply and relaxing into the stretch.
- To release, exhale and slowly lower your feet back to the floor, extending your legs.
The Pleasure Priest
The happy baby pose is named just right because you’ll be a happy baby being in the pose. To add more flavour to this pose, sway your lower body from side to side gently. This, while also aiding spinal realignment, takes your sexual pleasure a notch higher by helping stretch your hamstrings in a way that feels like they are being massaged.
Faith
Happy Baby pose offers not just a hip stretch but also a significant stretch for the hamstrings. When performing Happy Baby, you’ll feel a deep stretch in the backs of your thighs as you lie on your back and grasp your feet, gently pressing your knees toward the ground to achieve this sensation. Additionally, Happy Baby helps stretch your arms since you use them to pull down during the pose. Another variation for those with tight hips is to perform the pose one leg at a time. I believe in providing variations as not every yoga pose suits everyone, especially considering the diversity of body types and experiences. I always encourage using props like pillows, yoga blocks, and bolsters to assist in achieving the pose comfortably. Using props prevents straining the body, allowing the pose to happen naturally within your body’s capabilities rather than forcing it and triggering a fight or flight response.
Aduke
Ananda Balasana is a good alternative for people with knee concerns who can’t do Malasana. Simply lying back and opening the hips with the hands stretches the groin, inner thigh and hamstrings. It’s also an example of a sex position so you can be stretching and getting pleasure during the act. Keep the pelvic floor engaged by contracting the pelvic muscles as if you want to stop urine from flowing out.
Reclined Bound Angle(Supta Baddha Konasana)
Regularly practising this pose opens the hips and groin, improves flexibility, and can help alleviate menstrual discomfort.
Step-by-Step Guide to Reclined Bound Angle
- Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the mat.
- Exhale and let your knees fall out to the sides, bringing the soles of your feet together.
- Allow your knees to open like a book, bringing them towards the floor as much as comfortable.
- Place your hands on your abdomen, or let them rest by your sides with your palms facing up.
- Relax your shoulders and lengthen your spine, finding a comfortable position for your neck and head.
- Close your eyes and focus on deep, rhythmic breathing, allowing your body to relax into the stretch.
- Hold the pose for 1 to 5 minutes, allowing your hips and inner thighs to release tension.
- To release, exhale and use your hands to gently bring your knees together, extending your legs.
Aduke
Supta baddha konasana is a softer alternative to the frog pose, for stretching the inner thighs and groin. It relaxes the body by relieving stress stored in the hips. It also stretches the lower back. It’s best practiced by allowing the body surrender to gravity instead of forcing the knees down with your hands.
Faith
Bound Angle Pose, also known as Butterfly Pose, is another excellent pose for stretching the hips and inner thighs. You can perform this pose by folding forward towards your legs, which not only provides a deep stretch for your hips and inner thighs but also offers a great stretch for your back. For beginners or those with tight hips, placing a block or pillows under the knees can help support the hips and enable relaxation into the pose. It’s essential that in every yoga pose, you aim to relax to some extent, triggering the endorphin response in your brain’s nervous system.
Bonus Pose: Cat/Cow Flow
Let me put you on some game here sista! The cat/cow flow is absolutely fantastic for getting rid of back and neck pain. The gag though, is to stay in tabletop position after your cat/cow flow and slowly start to move your waist round and round in one direction for a bit and then the opposite direction! You can feel it too, yeah? I know, that’s right!
The Pleasure Priest
- Begin on all fours, with your hands directly under your shoulders and knees under your hips. Keep your spine neutral and your head aligned with your spine, looking down at the mat.
- As you inhale, arch your back gently, lifting your chest and tailbone towards the ceiling. Let your belly drop towards the mat, creating a concave curve in your lower back. Lift your head slightly, but keep your neck relaxed. (Cow Pose)
- Exhale as you transition into Cat Pose.
- On the exhale, round your spine upwards like a cat, tucking your chin towards your chest. Press your hands into the mat, and feel the stretch along your back. Engage your abdominal muscles to deepen the stretch.
- Flow between Cow Pose on the inhale and Cat Pose on the exhale, moving with your breath. Inhale to Cow, exhale to Cat, maintaining a smooth and fluid motion.
- Continue this gentle flowing movement for several breaths, allowing each inhale to lift and open your chest in Cow Pose and each exhale to round and stretch your spine in Cat Pose.
- To end, return to a neutral spine position and observe how your body feels after the gentle flow.
The Cat/Cow flow helps to increase spinal flexibility, release tension in the back, and improve posture. It also promotes mindfulness and breath awareness. Practice this pose regularly to enjoy its full benefits and enhance your yoga practice.
Faith adds that all the positions mentioned above are some of her favourites and that though you can do them in a routine, you can also practice them individually. Below is her alternative arrangement of the routine above.
- Reclined Butterfly/Reclined Bound Angle
- Happy Baby
- Lizard Pose
- Yogi Squat
- Frog Pose
- Pigeon Pose
- Bonus** – Savasana (final resting pose)
