If you’ve seen any season of The Ultimatum, you’ll know the show has an insane premise and features some pretty interesting characters every season. The Ultimatum: Queer Love has a unique cast of diverse characters who thoroughly entertain, confuse and annoy us through the system.
As we root for them, we notice their character flaws and best qualities and have a level of understanding about their relationships and the role they play in their success or dysfunction.
The show embodies the premise, “If you love someone, set them free, and if it’s meant to be, they’ll come back to you.” For these five couples, made up of women and nonbinary people, marriage is a dealbreaker. One partner is ready to get married while the other is not so certain. To decide whether to marry or move on for good, one partner issues an ultimatum— marry me, or the end.
The couples will split and choose someone else to date for a trial period based on common goals of long-term compatibility, attraction and generally, vibes, and at the end of the experiment, they must choose between three options — marry their partner, marry someone else, or end up single.
As crazy as it is, the situations and personalities of the characters are relatable, so read on to find out what ‘The Ultimatum Queer Love’ character you relate to the most.
Yoly
Yoly is a girl’s girl, an emotional queen. She’s very in touch with her feelings and is expressive, open and vulnerable in relationships. She went through the experience with her heart on her sleeve, ready to love and be loved. She has the tendency to fall in love fast and hard and may avoid accountability when she’s confronted about her feelings and actions. Yoly gave the ultimatum to her partner Mal three years into their relationship, but at the end of the experience, she was unsure if she wanted to be with Mal. If you’re like Yoly, you’re fiery and loveable, and your heart’s too big, but you need to be more introspective about your feelings; more thinking and less feeling maybe?
Mal
Mal is dependable, reliable, responsible, vision 20:20. They’re a Capricorn, so it tracks. She wants to get her life in order, money in the bank, and best-laid plans, before long-term commitment. Mal is a good communicator, is considerate and understanding and would undoubtedly make a great wife. If you’re like Mal, everyone needs someone like you in their corner, but maybe live a little, let go and simply let life lead sometimes. We can’t wait until life is perfect before we start living.
Lexi
Lexi is upfront and honest about her thoughts and is very in touch with her feelings. She’s analytical, and like Mal, her trial wife, is the embodiment of Capricorn values. She wants to make things work in her relationship with Rae and takes the experience as just that — a learning experience to better herself for her partner. Lexi may come off as dictatorial almost because she had such a clear picture of what she wanted in her head while her partner did not. If Lexi mirrors your personality, you need to realise that sometimes, you can be overbearing especially when less dominant personalities are involved. You have a good heart and are a good judge of character, but sometimes, you need to lean back and relax.
Rae
If go-with-the-flow were a person, it’d be Rae. She tends to overanalyze situations and is reluctant to commit because she’s unsure if her partner is “the one”. She has difficulty expressing herself, and with a character as outspoken and occasionally domineering as her partner, her voice often gets lost. The Raes of the world need to learn to speak for themselves and to figure out what it is exactly that they want, for their sake and the sake of those around them. Sweet, quiet, and laidback, but sometimes, you need to grab hold of the reins of your life firmly.
Tiff
Tiff is hard on the outside, and a big softie on the inside. They love their partner very much but they’re aware that their relationship has toxic tendencies and their relationship needs work. They’re sensual, exciting, and romantic, but they also can be very badly behaved when angry. Their relationship with their partner, Mildred, was fraught with fighting and poor conflict resolution, hence their reservations about the marriage. If you’re like Tiff, then you need to work on your communication skills and figure out exactly what you want and what’s best for you.
Mildred
Mildred knows clearly what she wants and is fully ready to choose herself if she doesn’t get it. She’s in love, yes, but she recognises that love isn’t enough when you have some fundamental needs and wants. She was ready to get married to Tiff but if Tiff wasn’t, then she was prepared to walk away. For people like this, it is essential to look inward. Poor communication, violent tendencies, a lack of self-awareness and self-caution were definitely a problem. They need to learn how to hold themselves accountable for the part they play in conflict rather than blaming other people entirely. However, her ability to decide what she wants and her willingness to follow through were admirable.
Vanessa
Vanessa is very happy-go-lucky, social, bubbly and open. She also comes off as a manipulative shit-stirrer, but maybe that was just the editing haha. She went into the show expecting to be received like today’s bread and expecting that her partner, Xander, would be too into her to connect with anyone else. She was given the ultimatum and was very disinterested in marriage, seeing the experience as an opportunity to sow her wild oats. However, when it became evident that her partner had fallen in love with someone else and she was in danger of losing them, she suddenly realised that she did want to be married after all. She wanted to maintain a sense of freedom, to be uninhibited and free — with her partner straggling along begging for commitment. She was convinced she was the prize, so what a rude awakening it was to find out that was not in fact the case. If you’re like Vanessa, all I can say is stop being a bad person today.
Xander
Xander is an absolute sweetheart, a cutie pie and an earnest lover. She is open, in touch with her feelings, decisive and genuine. She knew she wanted to marry Vanessa, and then when she found that she connected so deeply with Yoly, she leaned into love and was honest about her experience with those involved. They’re also extra frisky and had the most sex on the show, ready to go whenever, according to them. If you’re like Xander, you’re too good for this world, but maybe take a step back and observe people and situations more thoroughly before deciding what’s next for you.
Aussie and Sam
Aussie is cute and loveable but also severely avoidant due to anxiety. They shut down in the face of confrontation of any kind, and distance themselves from the situation. This can be a good thing for self-preservation, but it doesn’t do much for conflict resolution. If you see yourself in Aussie, you might want to consider professional help and also try to be more in tune with the feelings of those around you and not just your own.
Sam is the peak understanding girlfriend. Kind, patient, empathetic and emotionally intelligent. They helped their trial wife get a better grip on their communication skills, and they help their partner, Aussie, through life. She has a good understanding of people and knows how to communicate effectively. Everyone could learn something from people like this, but sometimes, you need to look out for number one, you.
