The truth is, whether you’re straight or queer and belonging to the LGBTQ+ community, dating is dating and you’re bound to encounter some red flags along the way, because not every person you meet is right/good for you. You can choose to ignore them, but you however cannot change a person. So you either Japa while you can, or choose to stay in a relationship you’re not happy with. Please never choose the latter.
These are the things a person does that indicates a lack of respect, amongst other things. Red flags are the signs you get that allows you know a healthy relationship may not be achievable with a person. Basically things along the way that lets you know in your gut that something isn’t quite right.
You get the point.
In this article, we’ve asked a few Lesbian and Bisexual women to share common red flags they look out for when dating:
1. Anna, 25 (Bisexual)
I personally think it’s so disgusting when a woman (who is a Lesbian) makes rude comments about bisexual women.
I had really kicked it off with this girl this one time, I mean everything was going so well until she started trash talking another girl she used to have sex with only because it turned out the girl was bi. I then brought it to her attention that I wasn’t a Lesbian but bisexual, and after I did, her mood changed. It turned out she didn’t really like being involved with bisexual girls because we ”also have sex with men”. Huge red flag.
2. Gift, 27. (Lesbian)
If you search toxic in the dictionary, you’ll find my last relationship. It was so disastrous and that’s because I kept ignoring all the red flags: she was friends with all her exes, her wallpaper was a picture of her and her ex, she’ll cancel plans with me just to hang with her ex and so on. Those are my biggest dating red flags because of what I learned from my last relationship. If you’re still entertaining your exes, we can’t work!
3. Lola, 21. (Lesbian)
Women are more likely to profess their deep feelings quickly because they know what they want and aren’t really ready to wait, but its a red flag for me because I’m not in a hurry. My last two almost relationships ended in the same way because both of them wanted a serious relationship very quickly, and by very quickly I mean like 1 week after getting to know each other.
4. Retti, 21. (Bisexual)
I can’t stand it when a Lesbian tells me they don’t like bisexual women. It confuses me because of how hypocritical it is. I’m bisexual so I’m attracted to both men and women, but I’m personally attracted to women more. I’ve had relationships with Lesbians were my sexual preference was being made a joke of because I’m apparently not “gay enough.” It’s very offensive and is a MAJOR red flag for me. I’m honestly ready to throw hands at the next Lesbian that tells me I’m not gay enough (Lol).
5. Seun, 19 (Lesbian)
Having a secret relationship. I’m not saying introduce me to your family as your girlfriend, but at least a few friends. At least one friend sef. I can’t tolerate being anyone’s secret girlfriend, its a big big turn off.
6. Tee, 25 (Bisexual)
This girl I had been seeing always joked about cheating on every man she had ever been with, but claimed to never have cheated on any woman she had been with. I just thought that didn’t make sense and knew I’d be setting myself up if I got serious with her.
*Names have been changed