The Nigerian work culture either has to go extinct or change radically, and since neither of these prospects are likely or going to happen anytime soon, I’m here to do what I do best, rant and offer no solution whatsoever to the problem.
If you’ve ever worked a 9-5 job in this godforsaken country, then you’ll know I’m not over exaggerating when I say its absolute hell. The pay is rarely ever worth it, most working conditions are terrible, transportation is another palaver, yet desperation keeps many of us tussling in the job market, looking for the “next best thing.”
The self-employment route is no longer a path you take because you have the skills and innate abilities to lead and create value in the world of business, but a path many Nigerians have to force themselves into in order to survive.
It’s okay if you feel your purpose lies in helping organisations grow and attain their goals, but you’re going to have to dabble in other things on your quest to fulfil these aspirations.
With that said, you’ll most definitely find the below points relatable if you are currently working a 9-5 job or were previously employed.
Getting a Raise, I’m Sure You Can’t Relate
Would it kill Nigerian employers to give their employees a raise without them having to ask?
If you have worked with an establishment for a year plus, you are not pushing your luck by expecting or formally requesting a higher pay, especially if you’ve worked really hard and made valuable contributions to your place of work.
A pay rise is kind of unheard of in a lot of Nigerian work settings, but if your employers are kind enough, you should get bonuses on a sporadic, if not regular basis.
It’s Actually 9 to Whenever Oga Says You Should Be Going
Where do you think you’re going by 5 pm? Certainly not to your house.
Fixed closing hours are uncommon in the Nigerian work setting. Workdays often go by in a haze, I mean you get up ridiculously early to get to work on time, work your ass off till an ungodly hour, come back home just to crash and repeat the exact same process the following day.
I say this on behalf of every working class Nigerian, we are tayad! Nobody can tell me that we are lazy youths.
1¼ Square Meals Every Blessed Workday
So now that you’re employed, you think you will start eating well?
With your one hour lunch break, sometimes you’ll even be too swamped with work to have much of an appetite. Well, unless you’re a foodie like me and you don’t send anybody so you take your lunchtime break serious.
Wait Until You Find Out Your Weekends Are No Longer For ‘Me Time’
The tears that come with realizing Saturdays and Sundays are additional work days (with no extra pay.)
Work places that do this deserve a special place in hell. Even God rested on the 7th day, so what exactly is the problem? When your entire life revolves around your job, unemployment begins to look tempting.
Over Sabi or Toxic Colleagues, Pick Your Poison
Working a 9-5 in Nigeria is already hard enough but some co-workers just love to make things harder by doing the most.
Working with certain types of Nigerians requires patience and headphones. If they are not calling you out on not having respect due to your casual greetings, they’ll make you look like the most lazy employee by doing additional work that is nowhere near their job description.
Every Hour Is Rush Hour, You and Traffic, 5 and 6
You’d think that when you finally close for the day you’ll be overjoyed, but nope. Lagos traffic just has to do it’s thing.
One moment you could have sworn the roads were free, the next everywhere is congested. So there you are in a stuffy staff bus using an hour and 40 minutes for a trip that should have taken you nothing more than 30 minutes.
Get a Side hustle or Say Hello to Sapa
Multiple streams of income is very necessary if you’re working a 9-5 job in this country. I’m certain that if you do the math, you barely make enough from your current job to live comfortably. Almost every employed Nigerian has something they are doing on the side to get by and it’s really saddening.
Steady Parole with Lagos Bukkas
The month isn’t even close to ending and Jumia Foods has steadily become luxury. Sis! It’s time to return back to Iya Risi.
₦50 meat and ₦200 rice is surprisingly filling, just make sure you drink lots of water. Another special on this rock-bottom menu is indomie, you should expect to pay at most ₦300. When you’re tired of forming independent bad bitch, you can call home and beg for money.
You Must Have Worked Under a Hellish Employer, Once or Twice
Some Nigerian employers think that just because they pay you a monthly salary barely above minimum wage, they can call you names your mother did not give you and shout your ears off.
Verbal, physical or emotional abuse, should be where you draw the line. No job is ever worth any pain whatsoever and as a woman, I am very certain you have been sexually harassed at your job at least once. If they don’t want to date you, they want to sleep with you or take you on “trips.” It’s not easy oh. Never put yourself or stay in a position where you’re completely at your employers mercy.
People Thinking You Have Money Just Because You’re Employed
The moment people around you start billing you or asking for ridiculous amounts as loans, just know that you have to tune down your packaging.
I mean who do you think I am, and why did I come to your mind for a 50k loan!? Whether it’s 20k, 10k or 5k, I don’t have please. Besides, loaning money you know you can’t let go of is the easiest way to set yourself up.
Let us in on your horrendous 9-5 experiences in the comment section below, we’d love to hear all about them!