Are we surprised that there’s really no research out there regarding women’s orgasms? not at all.
Neither were we surprised when we found out that only 18% of women can reach orgasm during penetrative sex alone.
For one, sexual education in Nigeria? we literally laughed out loud. Non-existent.
And two, can Hollywood and the media in general stop lying to us about sex?
So yeah if you’ve never had an orgasm, no pressure.
Although there are many different types of orgasms for women, advice on how to cum or have an orgasm is pretty much the same, regardless of what type it is. And of course orgasms shouldn’t be the end goal of sex. Some women aren’t able to reach orgasms at all, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean there’s anything necessarily wrong.
In this article, we have put together 7 things that can help:
The truth is, your ability to orgasm depends on how you feel both emotionally and physically. What’s going on in your head/mind is just as important as what’s going on in-between your legs. Whether it’s a quick fuck or an intimate slow session, it’s important to set the mood.
How’s the environment, does it make you nervous? are you comfortable enough? How’s the atmosphere, do you feel safe enough to truly relax and express yourself?
Whoever you’re choosing to get intimate with should make an effort to create a nice and cozy environment for you to be able to really feel relaxed and most importantly, comfortable. The smallest things can make all the difference, remember that.
You know how before you meet up or sleep with some people, they are already telling you how they will make your legs quiver, and your head spin with the most mind blowing orgasm? yeah.. who asked them?
The reason why expectations should be managed is because, although the person may truly truly want to make your legs shake and your head spin, it unintentionally puts pressure on you to feel like you also have to perform and do the most, and this can have you overthinking and remember what we said in the first point? your ability to orgasm also depends on how you feel emotionally. If you’re in your head, your chances of having an orgasm are slim.
Instead of making the grandest promises, ask them to just promise to show you a good time. They could say something like ”I would love to make you feel as good as possible. You could tell me what you like best, and how you like to be pleasured’.” That should make you feel much better, more relaxed and confident.
Who wouldn’t want to hear that? as opposed to, ”Tonight, I’m going to make you squirt all over the bed”. What if I can’t even squirt? way too much pressure.
As you probably know because we say this a lot, most women if not all, need more time to orgasm than men which is why foreplay is so very important. Spending longer on foreplay means more time and more stimulation to get you closer to cumming, or reaching an orgasm.
Many women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone and if we’re being honest, non penetrative sex is just as good or even better, let’s be real.
From oral sex, kissing, dry humping, fingering, giving a handjob or even erotic storytelling, there are different ways to go at it and explore.
Oh, and don’t forget about the clit!; most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm so make sure you don’t ignore yours. Tell your partner to touch, rub or even tap it (a gentle tapping motion on the clit can help to slowly build orgasm).
Another thing we say a lot (because it’s important and useful information, of course), female masturbation is h-e-a-l-t-h-y!
Touching yourself is the best way to figure out what you like and what gets you going, what’s better than that?
Touch yourself in front of your partner so they can see and learn what you like, and how you like to be touched. Command them to sit across from you and ask them to pay close attention. If you want to get things really heated, ask them to vocalize everything they are viewing. Get them to describe every move you make, where you touch, your speed, everything!
We highly recommend using sex toys but if you’re in the mood for skin-on-skin touches, you could use your fingers. Either way it will definitely get you heated, watching your partner watch you touch yourself.
If you’re looking for a stronger orgasm, you should try Edging.
It basically means when you bring yourself right to the edge of an orgasm, and immediately stop.
You could even try this more than once in a row and stop. When you eventually let yourself orgasm, it will be waaaay more intense we promise.
If you want to do this with a partner, you let them know when you’re about to cum, and then tell them to stop.
You can bring yourself to the edge as many times as you want, as long as you can handle it. Also make sure not to lose your orgasm completely as it can happen.
Lube is very essential during sex, and can even make the experience overall better.
Try getting your partner to apply it for you. When they do, ask them to then thrust in slowly and very gently – the application should give both you and your partner pleasure to the max.
Read: If You Aren’t Having Sex With Lube, You’re Dulling
Water based lubricants are the safest choice to prevent sexually transmitted infections.
Good hydration helps with your body’s natural lubrication.
When you are hydrated, more blood flows to your nether regions, heightening your chances of longer and better orgasms.
Who wants to be dehydrated during sex anyway? it can lead to vaginal dryness which can then lead to painful sex.
Besides, drinking water will definitely make you feel more energized, and you’re bound to enjoy sex more when you’re full of energy.
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