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The 10 Stages of Getting Your Period

Soyinka Oreoluwa by Soyinka Oreoluwa
October 6, 2021
in A Girls Guide, Announcements
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Yadah’s Box provides thoughtfully curated Period care boxes filled with essential items, self care products and goodies to help women have healthier, happier and safer periods. Think chic, comfort and cheer in one box.

The 21 Mag has partnered with Yadah’s Box to provide one lucky woman with a specially curated period care package, to help you survive your worst stage(s). Tell us which stage you hate the most and you stand a chance of winning the damsel-in-period-distress box, just in time for your next cycle!


Medicine might say there are 4 phases of a woman’s menstrual cycle; menstruation, the follicular phase, ovulation and the luteal phase. However, at The 21 Mag, we believe there are ten. Yes, ten stages, and we bet you’re familiar with all of them.


1. The Pre-Period Pimples, Random Cry, & Bigger Boobs Stage

Everything You Need to Know About Blind Pimples - Blind Pimple Under Skin Treatments

This stage is just the worst. First of all, it’s the audacity to appear overnight for me. Secondly, right in the middle of my forehead? I didn’t choose this life now. I know I’m about to start my period when I suddenly begin to feel emotional and overly sensitive, which usually ends in a good random cry. I don’t mind the stage were my boobs get fuller, I can live with that one but sometimes it makes my nipples so sensitive!

2. The Cravings Stage

I have the craziest cravings during my period and I can just die if I don’t satisfy them. I can’t imagine what it will be like when I’m pregnant. Dear future husband, sorry for you. Laughs in wickedness.

3. The “Ahahn Am I Bleeding?” Stage

This is the stage were you’ll go to the bathroom at least 3 times a day because you’ll confuse your discharge for your period. You’ll feel all the signs coming but alas, nothing.

4. The Poo’ing Stage

i-have-to-poop-gif - Void Magazine | Jacksonville Florida | North Florida Culture

Are you really about to get your period if you don’t purge your system out? Then now top it off with feeling bloated all the time.

This stage is not fun at all.

5. The Terrible Cramps Stage

Words can never be enough to describe the excruciating pain womanhood puts our body through. Those lower abdomen cramps are just brutal. And who can forget that horrible pain you usually feel in your butt were you literally can’t move until it stops.

6. The “Bitch, I’m Finally Here!” Stage

This stage is only fun if you’ve had a pregnancy scare. Who actually looks forward to their period? Not me.

Read: Here’s Why Your Period’s A Month Late, Again

7. The “I’m Just Going To Nap All Day” Stage

6 things all serial nappers know to be true - The Tempest

1 hour nap, 24 times a day please. Personally, this is my ‘don’t talk to me, I’m not in your mood’ stage.

8. The Heavy Flow Stage

During this stage, just one sneeze, laugh or cough will send a sudden gush of blood down to the doors of your vagina. This is when your flow is the HEAVIEST. If you choose to wear tampons, you’ll only be doing yourself because you’ll most likely end up staining. I usually wear two pads at once because I just hate to stain.

9. The “Oh, You Thought I Was Done!?” Stage

Behold, the Power of AHS's 'Surprise, Bitch' GIF

Aka, Spotting.

This one honestly deserves jail time. Usually on the day after your period has ended, you’ll step outside without wearing a pad in a stunning dress (if you’re unfortunate, you’ll wear white) and then your uterus decides to be like, “Surprise! I’m still here”. I’ve hacked this stage sha, I usually wear panty liners on my 6th day because once bitten, twice shy.

10. The “See You Next Month” Stage

Well byeeee! Who doesn’t love this stage? Back to my life goal of shaking my ass on a yacht. This is my favourite-not-so favourite stage because after celebrating, you’ll have that moment of realization that you’re still going to do it all over again next month, well unless you’re pregnant.


*The giveaway is open to Lagos residents only

Tags: Period care boxPeriod stagesYadah's Box
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Soyinka Oreoluwa

Soyinka Oreoluwa

Writer.

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