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A Single Girl’s Guide To Shooting Your Shot

Itseju Ikomi by Itseju Ikomi
in The Single Life, A Girls Guide
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Over the years, shooting your shot as women has been misinterpreted by many who believe it is not a woman’s place to make the first move. From the fear of coming on too strong or getting rejected, the uncertainties of taking the lead when it comes to matchmaking has held a lot of women back from expressing their feelings and just having fun when it comes to love. With the many mixed messages about whether or not it is a ‘woman’s place’ to make the first move and shoot her shot, I can tell you from personal experience that shooting your shot is only as big a deal as you make it.

However, I must say it is important to develop thick skin around these things because shooting your shot is a game of chance where the outcomes are uncertain. Although making the first move can be daunting at first glance, it is a lot easier than it has been made out to seem. If you are eyeing someone on social media or in real life, I have put together four easy steps you can try out to increase the chances of your shot not backfiring.


Step 1: Assess the Target

This step is necessary to avoid any drama that may arise. Step one is all about investigating and doing your homework but try not to go into full stalker mode. Is your target single? Is there anyone who believes they are in a relationship with him or her? Are they looking to be involved with anyone right now? This is important to narrow the chances of rejection or getting involved in any entanglement or drama that may occur. Once the coast is clear, you can proceed to step two.

Step 2: Drop Hints

Dropping hints is all about letting someone know you are interested without exactly telling them. It is all about body language, the comments you leave under their posts and so on. It is important not to mistake dropping hints for shooting your shot. Dropping hints only lays the foundation and is simply a means to an end. It has its pros and cons being that your target may or may not pick up on it, so cutting right to the chase will probably keep you from a stressful game of limbo. So now it’s on to step 3 – time to show off that big dick energy, sis. 

Step 3: Slide Right In

The hardest part about shooting your shot is actually the part where you have to shoot your shot. The key to making the first move and letting them know you’re interested is being direct enough without coming across as overbearing. This can be done by asking them out on a date and letting them be the ones to actually do the planning if they are interested, or by sliding into their DMs and initiating a conversation you figure they’ll probably have interest in, or getting straight to the point and letting them know you are interested. Whatever feels most comfortable for you – just do it!

Step 4: Don’t Overthink It

Shooting your shot truly is a game of chance and can be exciting if you look at it from that angle. As I mentioned earlier, it is only as big a deal as you make it. Once you have made your move, the only thing to do now is to wait and see what comes out of it. At least you tried now, right? not the end of the world. If it’s meant to be it will be, you will never know if you don’t try.

Overthinking only kills the fun and stops you from living in the moment. Try not to get too emotionally invested before getting a greenlight from the person you’re interested in, and you should be perfectly fine regardless of the outcome.


Shooting your shot can be fun and exciting. In my opinion, I think it’s a pretty normal thing that shouldn’t always be given too much thought. You see someone you like? go for it, life is way too short abeg.

You never know what can come out of it, plus it makes for good memories to look back and laugh on. As the French say, que sera sera. 

Tags: #relationships#shooting your shot#the single lifea girls guidedatingdating in lagossingle life
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Itseju Ikomi

Itseju Ikomi

A Libra baby and lover of all things that pertain to women empowerment, personal development.

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