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A 3-Step Guide to Being the Ultimate Girl’s Girl

Atinuke Falaiye by Atinuke Falaiye
October 18, 2023
in A Girls Guide, Friendships
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Who is a girl’s girl? That title is reserved for the best of us, women who make it their responsibility to look out for, protect, support and uplift other women. A girl’s girl will always fight for and believe women, have their backs and wish them nothing but the best. This is a woman who cares for other women whether she knows them or not and is a shoulder to cry on or lean against, and just all-around pure, good vibes.

To be a girl’s girl is an aspirational thing, a learning curve, a daily struggle. We must constantly strive to be there for other women as best we can because instances of support, especially from random people, can mean the world. 

Community is everything, and communal feelings can be fostered among women even when they don’t or barely know each other. Picture the friendliest girl you’ve ever met who you happened upon while drunk by 2 am in the bathroom of the club. You’re in tears, makeup smudged because the gin has conjured images of the ex-boyfriend who cheated on you in your mind. She helps wipe your tears, tells you you’re amazing and he’s a pig who doesn’t deserve you, fixes your makeup and gives you a shot of tequila to put you in a better mood. We should all aspire to be that girl.

Here’s our 3-step guide to being the ultimate girl’s girl, to give you a nudge in the right direction. To achieve this feat and goddess status, we must simply broaden the horizons of our understanding, kindness and empathy however we can, so that we can show up for other women where and when needed.

Step 1 – Equip Your Purse

Everybody loves the girl at the function who seems to have everything available and ready to go in her purse. Tissue, lip balm or gloss, hand sanitiser, hair ties, pads or tampons, water, a snack, gum, a power bank, a portable fan, sunscreen, scissors, a stapler, and a printer; her purse is an unending realm of wonder. She’s equipped for whatever situation may arise and ready to share her life-saving kit with the girls, always. 

A great step towards being the ultimate girl’s girl is to be that person. As you pack your bag, don’t think only of what you’ll require; ask yourself, “How can I touch lives today?”, “How can I meet a need?”

A surefire way to make a friend or simply make a girl’s day is to be there with the essentials we typically need (and get mad at ourselves for forgetting) when we need them. It’s the little things.

Step 2 – Uplift Always 

Do you know what can really make a girl’s day? A random compliment. Hot-girl-to-hot-girl compliments are the best. When a gorgeous girl compliments something about you, it really brightens your mood. It’s like if you think I’m pretty, then I must be doing something right. 

When you see a woman who looks great, tell her! If you see someone who seems to be having a hard day, say something nice to them. An “I like your shoes” or “Omg I love your dress, you look amazing”, may be the highlight of someone’s day or the turnaround when they’ve been having a hard time. Those nice things you think about women you come across in your head? Say them out loud to them! You’ll have them giggling and blushing because we all know compliments from women hit harder. 

The Do’s & Don’ts Of Handling Conflict With A Friend

Step 3 – Women First!

It is important to be on women’s side, especially in situations where patriarchal society is against them. We will always support women’s rights as well as their wrongs. No matter what a woman does or what is done to a woman, people are forever poised to point accusing fingers at her and blame and shame her. It is our responsibility to never be on that side. 

Women’s concerns and stories are routinely disregarded, so we must take it upon ourselves not to do that. Where you choose not to outrightly support or stand for them (a condemnable stance in itself), the least you can do is not to join the horde (read: men) to accuse them of lying when they share their experiences or slut shame them. Put yourself in their shoes and treat them how you’d like to be treated if you were in the same position. However, some women hold problematic views, and their positions and actions actively harm women— we don’t mean those women. Blind support is harmful, we should be ready to check who needs checking while we hold on to each other with love. 

Fair Play

Follow these three steps, and you’re guaranteed to be the ultimate girl’s girl. Like Belle from Beauty and the Beast, you’ll be everyone’s favourite girl with an aura of sunshine and roses, and as a reward, you’ll get to bask in the warm glow of knowing that in your own little way, you’re making the world a better place, or at least a less shitty place for someone. 

Tags: communitygirl's girl
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Atinuke Falaiye

Atinuke Falaiye

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