An anonymous series where real people share their interesting life stories and experiences.
We spoke to a 20 something year old woman who got real about her weight, and how it has always affected her self esteem. She talks about how it’s affected her relationships and mental health, and how above all, she’s learning to love herself.
So First Thing’s First, Tell Us About Yourself.
I’m 27 years old and I work at an advertising firm. I’ve lacked confidence basically all my life, because of my weight. It’s been a major problem for me because it’s like I’ve lived in a shell all my life. I’m very self conscious, and it shows. I currently weigh about 120kg, I have genuinely been trying to work out more often but when I do, I hardly see any results and it makes me feel even worse.
Tell Us About Your Weight Loss Journey.
I wouldn’t lie, I get very lazy sometimes but I also get very gingered. I read somewhere once that if you don’t like something about yourself, it’s up to you to change it, and that somehow motivates me.
I have been trying to lose weight since what seems like forever, because that’s really what it is. My mother is a chubby petite woman, while my father is a bit overweight, so I since understood that it runs in the family, but my mother isn’t always so easy on me. She believes my weight is the reason why I haven’t settled down yet.
On some days, I’m very pumped up to work out, on other days if I’m being very honest, I have that “I can’t come and kill myself” mindset.
How Often Do You Work Out?
Not as often as I should. Once or twice a week sometimes.
I wish I joined the ‘fit-fam’ life early. What even demoralizes me a lot of the time is that I feel it’s too late for me now. Two years ago, my long term partner broke up with me out of the blue, It really damaged me but I got through it.
Well, that was until I heard from a friend that his reason was because “I was too fat, and he couldn’t see a future with me”, which was so ironic because Oga weighed about 110kg.
You would think my mother was the one dating him, because she carried the matter on her head. She pleaded and pleaded with me to call my ex to rekindle things, but I told her ‘God forbid’.
I may be a fat girl, but I am not a desperate girl. I will never beg for anybody’s love. You either want me or you don’t.
E for Energy! At What Stage In Your Life Will You Say You Started To Feel Less Confident In Yourself?
I think my lack of confidence started when I was in Primary / Secondary school. I was always called the most unflattering names, from ‘fat pig’, to ‘orobo’.
Even people that were supposed to be my friends called me those names, and I eventually got used to it and started believing it. Wherever I go, people always stare. Trust Nigerians. And of course, family members are always so quick to point out that I’m ‘unhealthy’.
We’re So Sorry You Experienced That.
The truth is, I know that I need to lose some weight, not for anybody else, but for myself.
I want to feel good in my body, and feel confident and sexy. I don’t remember the last time I felt sexy. I don’t even think I’ve ever felt that way. I’m so self conscious, and my anxiety doesn’t help. It got so bad one time that I used to avoid going out in public, there was a week where I was dealing with serious depression and I wasn’t able to go to work for that whole week. I got queried, but I didn’t even care.
I avoid going shopping too, If I’m lucky to find my size in online stores, I don’t waste time to buy it.
Do You Have Friends Or Family You Talk And Vent To?
Hm. I used to vent to my close friend, but we recently fell out.
It had just gotten to a point where we were completely different people. She had her own friends she always spent most of her time with, and me I was just clearly that her fat friend she never made time for. She hardly included me in outings, and plans generally. Her excuse was that I didn’t like to go out, which in her defense was true, but still I would have liked to be included.
I’ve never really vented to anyone the way I am doing right now.
Thank You For Being Comfortable Enough To Talk To Us. You Mentioned At The Start Of This Interview That You Get Gingered To Work Out Sometimes, What Type Of Exercises Do You Do?
So, my close cousin put me on Intermittent fasting. Sometimes, I eat only once a day at 5PM, some other days I don’t eat until 12PM, and it’s only healthy meals or fruits.
I also try to go to the gym as often as I can, but the truth is, I need a gym partner. Someone that will be motivating me back to back.
So Back To Your Dating Life, Have You Been On Any Dates Recently, Since Your Last Relationship?
I’ve tried online dating, EPIC FAIL.
One time I thought I had met a good guy, until he started asking me to send him pictures of my naked body. I was shocked but later got to realize that he had a fat fetish.
I haven’t dated anyone since my last relationship and tbh, that’s fine with me. I really just want to focus on losing weight right now.
What’s That Exercise / Diet You Feel Can Genuinely Help You Lose Weight?
Intermittent fasting! It works wonders if you’re consistent with it, but it’s not easy at all. Like I said before, some days I’m so lazy, other days I’m gingered. The days where I’m feeling lazy, I eat and eat.
Have You Learnt Anything About Yourself Since You Started Working Out?
Just that it’s not a crime to be fat or obese. Na fat I fat, I no kill person.
It’s also okay to accept your flaws. No single person on this planet is perfect. I’ve had self esteem issues all my life, but I’m slowly working towards overcoming it, and loving myself.
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