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Life as a 22-Year-Old Trans Woman Living In Lagos

Chinazam Ikechi-Uko by Chinazam Ikechi-Uko
March 31, 2025
in Real Asf, Queeries
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The city of Lagos, Nigeria, can be described as modern as commercial towns get. It is fast-paced, crowded, and sometimes noisy. Everyone is on the move; however, despite the city’s appearance, many of its population prides itself on upholding traditional values. The 22-year-old Liber understands this very well; after all, she was born in this very city. As a trans woman, she knows what some people think, but as a Lagosian, resilience is all she has ever known.

MEET LIBER:

Every generation has grappled with despair and most likely assumed the country was in its worst state ever. But a few years after a pandemic and several economic collapses, Gen Z Nigerians who lament might have an argument to stand on.

Across the phone, Liber feels this stress. She works, and she has been working for a while. Like everyone these days, she is always busy and earning, yet everything keeps getting more expensive. Finally, after two unsuccessful weeks of trying to find a perfect time for this interview, I got a text from Liber. It reads, Hi, love. Is today still feasible? I have work for the rest of the week unless you are fine with the call being really late.

This soft-spokenness is typical of Liber; it is all I am introduced to on the call as the conversation begins:

AD 4nXfy1HKxKmEpkppalSIyXZ sEsmzEOwPoC5KqKiYI2D4sCxQSTSEYF mOs9CPj eRpncb64aLWsJDejq 9y4JO3DpFgAtJ5hpSJcvn2ECQMM aETSQc5ks6XEEGCm7Stfd6 3FijJQ?key=isPTnMeC529pxwxovWrg kuV

We both have fully booked schedules. However, today, I fell sick and decided to take a break. But what about you? What is your work schedule, and how did it clear up?

L: Hello. I work as a creative assistant at a production house, so my calendar is often atypical. It is not a five-workday or necessarily a 9-5. It is a hybrid. Some days are remote, but I come in on Friday if there is an event on Friday. Lucky me, I had an off day today.

That is a rather fascinating job, as are many in the art space. How does one become a creative assistant, and was this always the career path from the jump?

L: I sent a proposal and got the job, but this was not my first plan in life. I hate to set plans now because I can get specific, and if they do not pan out the way I want, I crash out. If you had asked me five years ago, I would have seen myself in the architecture world. I studied architecture at university.

Architecture is more of a technical and older term than creative director or assistant, but it involves a level of arts and creativity, so I can see where the spirit came from. But how was that, studying, that is, and what school did you graduate from?

L: I graduated from the University of Lagos (UniLag) last year. The whole public school university experience in Nigeria is stressful. First, when I got into UniLag, I was not given the course I wanted despite surpassing the requirement grade. The reason was never explicitly explained; it was just labelled “technical problems”. However, I was so focused on architecture that I used the diploma route to get in.

Architecture is quite an art. It requires a lot of creativity, so your career is not that far off. What was the university experience for you as a transwoman, and were you an open trans woman back then?

L: I was not open at the beginning. I began transitioning in 2021/2022 when I was 19. You see, my university experience had so many gaps. There were annual strikes except in my last year, and there was even an 8-9 month strike. That was when I began socially transitioning. I learned a lot about body dysmorphia from a friend who was a medical practitioner.

THE TRANSITION:

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Eight months is a very long time, especially for a university student. What did you do with that time, and what was the transitioning process like?

L: During those months, I visited France and met people who helped me transition.

Was there a culture shock when you returned to Lagos?

L: When I returned, I was out to everyone who cared, but my documents read male, and they still do. I initially tried to stay “non-binary” because Lagos is different. Then, in 2023, I got tired and went for it. I went out as an open trans woman, and the first thing I learned was that Nigerians have never seen a tall woman. Most people would talk about my height— I’m 6’3 and always wear heels.

That is fair. Was the same reaction in school?

L: Well, I fought a lot… I fought for myself and other queer kids. I trend a lot on X (formerly known as Twitter). People would (and still do) drag me online. Lecturers would ask questions and call me “Mary”. It does not change me. I have always been confident in myself; people joke and try to make me feel bad, but it does not change me. Plus, I know they can’t say it to my face. I once confronted a Twitter troll about a tweet they made, and they could not stand on it. He said online, “I will beat you.” Yet he could not repeat it in person.

You spoke of fighting for other queer kids. What are your fondest memories of finding a community that early?

L: There was a spot in the open where my queer friends and I would hang out. We would never hide. We just hung out and existed. My favourite part was being a hundred percent myself and enjoying the experience.

Now, you spoke about socially transitioning and people’s perceptions, but what was it like for you mentally?

L: Whew, I was 19 when I realised I was trans. I did not panic; I had already made peace with my parents’ ideals. I disagreed with their opinions and detached myself from them. The real challenge was physically transitioning.

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Nigeria is not known for its stellar healthcare system. So, what is the process like?

L: The medications I use… it is a hectic process. The economy is unstable, and availability is another issue. The one I used is no longer available, and the prices are changing lately.

What medications did you use, and what are the cons?

L: Shhh, I won’t mention that for the sake of the dolls, but if any doll seeking to transition needs advice, they should contact me. The cons are the emotional rollercoaster that comes with them. Some days, I am depressed.

What about your parents? Did they come around, and how did you tell them?

L: I did not tell them. I was open, and it was not a secret. However, in December 2023, I did a video for Openly about life as a trans woman, and it went viral. My mom saw that, and my dad found my Instagram. I always knew they were transphobic, but now, I have confirmation. I do not talk to them. I moved out long ago, back in my university days.

Bigotry is not rare. Many people hold on to traditional ideals, and I can imagine it is not only your parents.

L: Oh yes, there are places I no longer go to— markets. They harass me and call me ashawo. There are spaces I would not use— public transport. I always get anxious and put on my oversized hoodie. They are gigantic, and they gender-blank me. I call them Pray You Catch Me hoodie. There are things I have sworn off— NYSC (National Youth Service Corps). Some places are a hassle— the airport.

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Yes, what is travelling like for you? You mentioned that your documents all read male. How do you navigate that?

L: I have not done my documentation, which has been difficult. I got an ECOWAS travel certificate to travel to Accra in January. The problem came when it was time to body search me. The man refused to do so because, clearly, I was a woman. However, when I went to the female queue, the woman doing the searches opened my passport and read male, so she sent me back. They went back and forth. No one knew who was supposed to search. We stayed here for 10 minutes, and eventually, someone agreed. They apologised. I had the exact problem in Accra. I hate that system of body searching. It is weird and uncomfortable.

Wow, the airport people sound lovely and cordial. Do you feel like a lot of your experience has been rational?

L: My experience is not the same as everyone else’s. I am privileged, I read older works by transwomen, and they did not have the language or money to afford prescriptions. I am grateful, plus Nigerians are becoming more open.

Lastly, what advice would you give the transwomen in Lagos scared to be open?

L: Whatever happens, prioritise your safety first. It’s okay to come to yourself in small steps. Never look at anyone’s journey and feel like you’re not doing enough for yourself. Just do what you can, as it’s safe for you, and trust yourself. I love you.

Tags: #womentranswomen
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Chinazam Ikechi-Uko

Chinazam Ikechi-Uko

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