The Single Girl Diaries is a series that explores the many interesting, unfiltered stories and experiences of single girls everywhere. From the good times to the challenges, we’re here for all of it. The stories cover a wide range of topics, from dating and self-growth to matters of the heart and mind and everything else in between.
In this article, Vivian (24) shares the story of her whirlwind romance with a man she thought was the answer to all her prayers. As a student entrepreneur in Abuja, she was tired of being the over-giver in relationships, only to meet a man whose entire life was a lie funded by charm and deceit.
My Dating Life
My name is Vivian, a 24-year-old student entrepreneur based in Abuja. I run a booming online store, and honestly, life is good. Well, mostly. When it comes to love, it feels like I’m stuck in a never-ending cycle of giving too much and receiving too little. I’m a lover girl, no doubt, but my heart has been broken more times than I can count. I always find myself in relationships where I’m the one investing everything: time, money, effort and emotions–only for it not to be reciprocated. The financial aspect where one would even expect a guy to show up effectively, I barely ever get it. I crave a genuine connection, a partner who matches my energy, a happy marriage, kids and forever, but it seems I keep falling for the wrong kind of guy.
How I First Met Mike
It was a Friday night at a high-end lounge. I was just chilling with my girls, minding my business. That’s when I locked eyes with Mike. I’m not even kidding when I say that this man is drop-dead gorgeous, and as someone who isn’t comfortable with my man competing in the looks department with me, I just couldn’t resist. A little thing that helped was that I had actually seen him in the parking lot when I was entering the lounge; he was in a sleek black Prado. Him plus the car? Instant turn on.
He came over to my table a couple of hours later, and, to be honest, he was too clean. He introduced himself as Mike and asked my friends and me if we wanted to join him and his friends at the club. We all agreed. From what we could see, his friends passed the vibe check. Two of my friends rode with one of his boys, while I and two of my other friends rode in Mike’s Prado. On our way to the club, we all started talking, but I could tell he was more interested in my friend, Efe*, than he was in the rest of us. I was a bit jealous sitting at the back, so I wasn’t as bubbly as I would typically have been.
From the conversation between him and Efe in the car, I learnt that he was a businessman, into real estate, particularly restaurants and hotels. He started name-dropping the building projects he had overseen in Abuja and Lagos, as well as the people he knew, and they were huge!
We arrived at the club, and my girls and I got spoiled. It was an amazing time. Somehow somehow, I was too drunk to remember how this occured, but Mike became my man for the night. Perhaps it was because Efe was seeing someone at the time that’s why she didn’t give Mike a clear green light while we were partying. Me? I was on a hunt. I wanted Mike badly.
By the end of the night, he had my Instagram, not my number, because I needed to immediately show him that I am all about the lifestyle. Honestly, I was so done with dusties and Mike seemed like an answered prayer. On the way back to my house (he drove me home), he spoke with the sexiest confidence, asking about my business with genuine interest and still dropping impressive names and figures. I was elated. He didn’t even ask for a kiss when I got out of the car, and that impressed me.
The next morning, this man DMs me, “I am making reservations for lunch. How does 2 pm sound?”
Okay, you tell me, how wouldn’t I fall in love?
The Lavish Romance
Our relationship was a movie. Our dates were at the most exclusive, expensive spots in my city. He showered me with gifts—a coach bag for our one-month anniversary, as well as flowers and chocolates just because. Our conversations were deep and effortless. He was my biggest supporter, always offering advice on how to scale my business.
I was completely smitten. My friends loved him. “Vi, you’ve finally found your person!” they’d say. I was on cloud nine. This was it. This was the partnership I had been praying for. He was successful, charming, and he seemed to adore me.
The Cracks Started to Show
But even in the movies, there’s always a plot twist. The first red flag was so small I barely noticed it. He’d occasionally mention an “urgent deal that needs quick cash flow.” He’d ask for a loan, never a huge amount —maybe ₦50,000 here, ₦200,000 there —and always promised to pay it back with interest. Me, understanding girlfriend with a thriving business, I’d send the money.
The truth is, at first, he always paid back with a juicy interest, but the requests started to feel way too frequent. At a point, I would give him money and tell him not to pay back, but that didn’t happen too often.
One day, I pointed out that he was extremely wealthy, so why does he always need urgent 2k from me, of all people? His response was that he isn’t always liquid and that he ties most of his wealth in assets.
Then there was the issue of his home. He claimed to live in a mansion in Lifecamp but never once invited me over. The excuses were always ready: “The renovations are a mess, Vi”, or “My family is visiting from the village, it’s too chaotic.” We always met at restaurants or stayed in luxury hotels and sometimes in my apartment, which he claimed he preferred for “privacy.”
And then, there were sometimes he would completely ghost. When he resurfaces to explain his disappearance, he would mention his involvement in a top-secret business deal. That meant I couldn’t question him further.
The Prado Mystery
The biggest red flag that I conveniently ignored was how sometimes he’d pick me up in a beat-up Toyota Corolla, laughing it off. “My baby is in the spa,” he’d say, in reference to the Prado being serviced at a mechanic’s shop.
The mystery unraveled one morning.
I joined a friend for a run. Across the street, there was a fleet of luxury cars, including Prado’s. Mike, who had told me about a week ago that he travelled, was right there talking to a man. With my two eyes, I saw him hand over keys to the man and get into the passenger seat of what I assume is an Uber. That is when everything clicked.
I froze. My mind was racing, trying to make sense of what I just saw, but I couldn’t express my feelings because I didn’t want the girl I was running with to be all up in my business. Later that day, I called my friend Aisha*, who knows everybody in Abuja. I told her about Mike, his real estate business, and the Prado. She told me she would get back to me, but when she did, she didn’t have anything concrete to report. But it was she who told me about how many Abuja guys are notorious for pretending to be rich as a way to scam women. During our call, Aisha asked for a picture of Mike, and it occurred to me that my man and I have never taken a picture together. He would gladly take pictures of me, but he would never allow me to take photos of him. He would talk about how shy he was, and I believed him because all his social media was private, and he never had any personal identifiers on it.
Since my boyfriend was still “out of town”, I summoned the courage to face the truth and went out to the same street I saw his ghost in, the street with the fleet of luxury cars. I spoke to the attendant present, and apparently, I could rent any of the cars, starting from N100,000. I asked the attendant if he knew Mike, and I described him to the best of my ability, but the attendant feigned ignorance. I was so upset. There and then, I Facetimed Mike and showed him my surroundings, including the attendant. Though he didn’t admit anything, I just knew from the initial silence when he picked up the call that this man was a pathological liar, and that my instincts were correct: his whole life was a lie. After the call, where he basically gaslit me and concluded that he would talk to me when he was “back in Abuja”, I asked the attendant again if he knew Mike, but this time around, he got hostile with me.
I blocked Mike everywhere immediately. I couldn’t risk him sweet-talking me out of my gut feeling, and I don’t care for closure, especially with people who lack integrity. I am convinced that if he can lie his way all through our relationship, he can kill.
The first few days of no contact were quite challenging, especially since some of my friends said I was being too rash and should give Mike a chance to explain. But I remember how I betrayed myself for liars all in the name of love, and I didn’t feel like playing the fool again. Besides, Mike knew where I lived; if he couldn’t reach me through my social media or get in touch by phone, he could have come to visit. But he never did, and for someone who claimed to love me, that was the final confirmation I needed.
My Search For An Odogwu Ends
The heartbreak was sharp, but oddly, the experience made me feel empowered. I had been searching for an Odogwu and got blinded by his fake, stupid life, when all the while, I was the Odogwu myself. There’s nothing Mike provided me that I couldn’t acquire myself. Well, except that he got me interested in investing. If I had pictures of him, I swear I would have sent them to Instablog to post.
What a lying piece of shit.
My friends told me that Mike wasn’t sophisticated enough in what he was trying to do, else it wouldn’t have clicked so easily. I thank God that it never reached the point where I loaned him a huge chunk of money that he would never have repaid, because, according to the people I eventually confided in, such things happen.
