The Single Girl Diaries is a series where we explore the many interesting, unfiltered stories and experiences of single girls everywhere. From the good times to the challenges, we’re here for all of it. The stories cover a wide range of topics, from dating and self-growth to matters of the heart and mind and everything else in between.
In this article, Jessica (24 years old) shares the story of her weird first date with Obinna, a 32-year-old she had only been talking to for a week. When Obinna excuses himself from the restaurant to briefly meet two men Jessica thought were random strangers; things begin to go downhill.
My Dating Life
My name is Jessica, a crochet designer, and I’ve been single for a while now, but honestly, it hasn’t been so bad. Being single has taught me how to be comfortable with my own company. That’s not to say I’m not interested in love—because I definitely am.
However, I want a relationship with someone I can trust. There have been times when I thought I found ‘the one’, but it ended up not working out as I planned. Thankfully, I never sulk about leaving relationships that no longer serve me. I rather stay single than be in an unhealthy relationship. I prefer to take my time to explore until I find my own person.
How We First Met
I met Obinna (architect, 32 years old) when he came for a pedicure at the salon where I was undergoing a beauty apprenticeship. He looked delicious – so tall and handsome. He got brownie points for looking responsible as well. At the salon, we had a slightly long conversation before he finally asked for my number. Of course, I gave it to him, ‘cause why not?
We immediately started talking like crazy on the phone. We basically spoke every day for about a week, and that was when he gave me the ick. Obinna was talkative, and honestly, I can’t stand men who talk too much. Immediately, no.
During one of our conversations, he asked me out on a date. My initial thought was to decline because I wasn’t feeling him anymore, but the thing is, I have a coconut head, and I enjoy getting dressed up and going out, so I agreed to see him.
Our Bizarre First Date
Our first date was at a restaurant, and surprisingly, he got there before me. When I arrived, everything seemed calm. We exchanged pleasantries, and I sat down at his table. Barely a few minutes into it, he excused himself, saying he needed to quickly get something outside. I didn’t think much of it and waited at the table.
Not long after, I noticed him outside with two men, but I didn’t think much of it until he started waving to get my attention. When I looked, he called out, asking me to join him at his new table outside. I was confused. I couldn’t start shouting a response, so I texted him, saying I preferred where I was sitting and that he should come back inside. But he refused.
I hate embarrassment, and by this point, I could feel it creeping up on me. To avoid a scene, I grabbed my bag and joined him at his new table—with the two men. Trust me, I didn’t hold back and let him know he was rude for leaving me at our original table. I thought that was the worst of it. If only I knew what was coming.
When we sat down, I asked who the two men were, still trying to piece together what was happening. He casually said one was his brother, and the other was his friend. At that moment, I nearly lost it. Confusion? It was trying to take me out.
Before I could gather my thoughts, he turned to his brother and said, “This is the woman I’ve been talking about.” Meanwhile, this is a man that I had not even spoken to for up to 2 weeks. I was looking at both of them like a lost sheep. I didn’t even know what to say or how to react.
Next, two more men joined us—another brother and his uncle (his parents are late). They brought along many traditional dishes and drinks they had ordered from inside the restaurant. At first, I was excited because I love food (a little too much, clearly), but as time went on, I grew highly uncomfortable and lost my appetite due to their conversation.
The Shocking Conversations
I told Obinna and his relatives that I was okay with what I had eaten and that I needed to leave. They just smiled and urged me to eat more—trust Igbo men.
Everything just kept getting worse. His elder brother casually told me that Obinna is a good man and that I should take care of him. In my mind, I was thinking, what’s my business with that? As if that wasn’t bad enough, they went on to mention that we’d be getting married next year. Then, out of nowhere, Obinna asked me to tell him I loved him. I whispered back that I didn’t, but he pleaded, saying I shouldn’t embarrass him in front of his brothers. Out of pity, I gave in and said it.
I couldn’t take it anymore, so I started texting my sister, asking her to fake-call me and yell at me like she was our mom. The plan was for Obinna to get the hint that it was getting late and let me leave. I thought it would work, but omo, this man actually pleaded with me to beg my ‘mom’ because he claimed I was in a very important meeting. I wanted to scream.
My sister got frustrated and called a second time. This time, I put the phone on loudspeaker and pretended it was an accident to make it more convincing. Thankfully, it worked. They finally saw me off—but not before setting another date for all of us to meet again.
The Aftermath
Can you believe Obinna actually tried to reach out to me after that disastrous date? He even had the audacity to call me his wife. Let me not lie—I’m terrible at ghosting people, so I responded at first. But I kept giving excuses about being busy until he finally got the message.
From now on, the moment a man waves the first red flag, I’m RUNNING. I’m done agreeing to things just to avoid seeming disrespectful. These men wouldn’t extend the same courtesy if the roles were reversed. I might give love a break and just focus on my business.
Before Obinna’s creepy date, I used to overlook red flags and icks, convincing myself that no one’s perfect and everyone deserves a second chance. I’d even go on second dates when I clearly shouldn’t have. But I’ve learned my lesson: it’s bullshit. If you don’t like a guy, don’t go on the date. And if the first date is a disaster, leave it at that.
With that said, I can confidently declare—I am never seeing Obinna again.
