From college friends to childhood besties, our new series, “Girlfriends”, is dedicated to exploring and celebrating the incredible journey of female friendships in all their forms. This brand-new series dives into the highs and lows that come with these special bonds, offering a space to connect, inspire and reflect on the power of friendship. Through honest and heartfelt interviews, we aim to foster a deeper appreciation for female friendships’ unique dynamics and complexities.
Meet Dunni and Temilade, the ultimate definition of “Day Ones.” Born just three weeks apart to mothers who were friends at church, their bond quite literally began in the womb. But what happens when childhood playmates grow up and move continents apart?
For 27 years, these two have navigated everything from shared primary school memories to the complex friction of long-distance communication between Nigeria and Canada. In this heartwarming edition of Girlfriends, Dunni and Temilade open up about the intentional work required to transition from friends to chosen family, proving that proximity does not affect true sisterhood as long as you keep showing up, regardless of timezones
Hello ladies! Please can you introduce yourself ?
How did you two meet?
Dunni: Honestly, we met a very long time ago. We met in the womb. That’s how I always say it. Our moms went to the same church, and they would sit next to each other at church. So, I feel like we connected in the womb already because we were born a month apart. So, I was born in February of ’98. Temi was born in March ’98. So, there’s a three weeks between the both of us. Our mom’s were friends, so when we were born, our mothers always had us around each other all the time. Our moms basically went through the baby stage together. And then that’s how we met. Then we just kind of grew into being besties. It just happened very naturally, very organic.
Temi: And then we ended up going to the same primary school.
Dunni: We’re 27 and we’ve been friends for 27 years at this point.
Besties from the womb? Amazing! But you guys live in different cities now?
Temi: Different countries even.
How long has that been?
Dunni: Since 2014…11 years now.
Temi: We went to the same primary school, but different secondary schools. After secondary school, we both went to different countries. So, I went to the UK for school. Dunni went to Canada. It was quite difficult keeping in touch because of the time difference, plus settling into school. There was a bit of tension here and there. But we worked through it because we would come back quite often for like summer breaks and things like. So when we’re around, we see each other, and then we would go out and have fun. That just really helped keep the bond there. After university, I moved back to Nigeria, but she stayed in Canada. We now know how to keep in touch really because we’re now sisters at this point.
In what ways would you say you have made your long distance friendship thrive?
Dunni: I would go way back to secondary school. I went to boarding school. Temi went to a day school. It was only when I would come back on breaks that we would get to hang out and see each other. I have to give it to Temi for making extra effort. So whenever my school had visiting day, Temi would come along with my mom. That was how we kind of navigated that stage. Then when we left Nigeria, it was beyond tough. I still say it till this day that I take a lot of the blame for how things were in the beginning stage. At that time, I thought Temi was just being extra. But looking back, I know that a lot of the issues came from me because I found communication very difficult. It’s hard for me to keep in touch with people. So that was very tough for me to actually break, even with my best friend. There were times that Temi would call me, maybe she wanted to talk about something that she was going through and I wasn’t really there and she would get mad.
Sometime in our second year of university, we talked about everything that was going on. I apologized. She also apologized for some things. We just came to a level of understanding. Since then, keeping up with Temi hasn’t felt like stress. Right now, we don’t even have any schedule to talk. We just know we’ll talk, and whenever we talk, we talk for such a long time and stay on the phone. So, like she said, we’re like sisters. We’re family and it just feels like, you know, this is someone I really have to check up on. My life feels incomplete without me hearing from her. If I haven’t heard from her in like in over two weeks? That’s wild. Funny how that was something we used to do before, but now, even if we don’t FaceTime, we would message each other here and there. I think our level of understanding makes us keep in touch.
Was there a defining moment that made you realize ‘this is my person’?
Temi: I don’t know if there’s been a defining moment because I feel like we’ve always been each other’s person. We are always on the same wavelength. We are both Pisces. And like I said, we’ve known each other from the womb. We have just always known each other and understood each other. We hung out a lot as kids, that’s when we really formed a bond. I remember, in primary school, there was a time that I was being bullied and Dunni actually stood up to the bully. I’m just always grateful when l talk to you and feel like I have no filter with Dunni. I can just be completely myself. Zero filter, zero. Dunni just laughs and sometimes she’s like “Are you mad?” on the call because I’m just yapping shamelessly. In moments like those, I think and feel “wow, you’re the only person I can be myself with”.
Dunni: Oh, that’s so sweet.
Temi: I appreciate you.
What about you Dunni?
Well, I do have a half brother, but many times, it feels like I’m the only child. Temilade is like a sister I never had, and I greatly appreciate that. When I was really young, I would have one of those moments when my parents would piss me off and I would start thinking “Ah, are these really my parents?” So there would be those moments, and I would pack my toys, and I would literally tell my parents, “I’m leaving. I’m going to Temilade’s house (she lived two streets away) . I’m never coming back again.” I would walk out of the house, get to the gate and the security guy will stop me. My grandma too will calm me down. So I never actually left. But there were numerous times I did that. When I think about those moments, it just shows that I strongly saw Temi’s home, as my home as well. Like her family were my people. Being with her was my peaceful place, you know. I mean, if I’m leaving my parents house, I’m going to go to complete peace. And when I think about it, I had other friends who lived close by, but not once did I think of going to theirs.
This is something I think about that makes me know that Temilade has always just felt like a sister, one that I have never had. She’s just always been by me.
Temi: Okay, that sounds lovely.
There’s just so many “aww”s in this conversation.
Dunni: I don’t think we’ve ever dived deep into our friendship and talked about things like this. So this is very nice.
How would you describe each other in three words:
Temi: I would say ‘caring’. ‘ Second word is Focused’ because Dunni can be very serious at times. Lastly, I’ll say ‘sister’, because I feel like it covers everything. The word ‘Sister’ covers our relationship.
Dunni: Oh, that’s so sweet.
Temi, three words is not enough to describe your awesomeness.
This is not a word, but Temi has a voice of an angel. She’s an edge walker. And by that, I mean she likes to live life on the edge. Lastly, she has a very sweet heart.
If you could time travel to one day in your friendship, what day or moment will it be?
Dunni: I’ll time travel back to that time we came to Toronto together. Our first trip together as teenagers. We were fourteen. That was a very fun trip. Then we didn’t have any life issues.
Temi: For me, I was actually going to say something very close to that. But I would time travel to when we were 13 because around that time we were so excited that we could finally watch PG-13 movies.
Our parents were very strict about the shows and movies we saw. So just before we turned 13 we were like, “Oh my God, we can’t wait to be able to watch PG-13 movies.” I feel like a lot of things happened like around that time. That’s when Black Berries were raining, right? And we got our first BlackBerry phones together and this wasn’t even planned. Our parents just randomly bought us BlackBerry phones at the same time. There was just so much excitement during those times. Simpler times, for real.
Is there a time Temmy did something or said something that really stuck with you?
Dunni: At the peak of Covid-19, it was very difficult for me to get the professional job I wanted. It took almost two years for me to actually find a job at that time. But I remember that there was a day that I called Temi and I was crying. I was basically like, “I’m fed up. I’m tired. I’m so done. I want to go home. I miss my parents. I want to come back home.” Temi, do you remember this day?
Temi: Yeah, I do.
Dunni: Yeah. So, I was really sad and I was crying. Temi told me everything was going to get better and she said that things kind of get really bad before it gets really good. So, I should know that I’m close to a good point. When she said that, I really appreciated it ’cause it made me feel better. After that call, Temi called my mom to express her concern on what I was going through. That just shows that Temi was being strong for me in that moment. Anyways, that moment has stuck with me ever since. So, that was a very deep moment for me.
Temi: Sometime last year, I was going through a lot, man. And there were a few times where I would just call Dunni and just be sad. One particular time, I just called her randomly in the middle of the night (her timezone) and I was crying. She picked and let me rant about everything. You know how people would respond to your sadness by saying “Oh, everything will be okay”, Dunni stayed with me on that call and reminded me of who I am and all that I have accomplished, even when I tried to water it down. She made me feel so seen and heard. There’s not many people that I can just call and by the end of the call, feel like I didn’t bore them.
Dunni: I got you. I got you.
What’s your friendship love language?
Dunni: I like attention. Any form of attention from my girl. Even if it’s us talking on the phone, messaging, liking my Instagram stories, any form of attention. When I see that she liked my Instagram story, I’m like, “Yeah, okay, I look that good.”
Temi: Attention as well which includes quality time. But unfortunately because we’re quite far away from each other, we can’t actually spend time together physically. For me, it’s better if we’re actually spending time together physically because that would be my top love language. Being on the phone helps greatly though.
If you were to write a best friend handbook, what would be the first rule in that handbook?
Dunni: Okay. It would be do not shout at me. Let’s talk about it. If you’re not doing something the way Temi wants it to be done at that time, she gets a type of way
Temi: But I don’t shout now
Dunni: True. Saying you shout is a stretch. What I really mean is, calm down and relax.
Temi, it is your time to shine. What would will be your first rule in your best friend handbook?
Temi: I would say, you’re never too busy for the ones you care about.
Temi, what’s something you have never told Dunni or you barely ever tell her, but you would like to say or you wish you said more often?
Temi: I have three sisters. So you, Dunni, are my fourth sister. You’re a solid best friend. I have close friends, yeah, but I don’t consider any of them like sisters, the way I consider you. You are the very, very best friend that I have and I’m very, very grateful for you. Honestly, and I don’t think I tell you that enough.
Dunni: Oh. Thank you, babe.
Dunni, what’s something you have never told Temi or you barely ever tell her, but you would like to say or you wish you said more often?
Temi, I’m just grateful for the fact that you stuck by me through so many things and through all these years. There are some dumb mistakes I’ve made and you’ve called me out on them. I am grateful that you were able to just call me out on the things I was doing wrong and sticking by me through all the faults that I have made towards our friendship, even though at that time I didn’t say it. I’m grateful for you Temi and the fact that I have a sister in you, that I don’t have in any other person.
