From college friends to childhood besties, our new series, “Girlfriends”, is dedicated to exploring and celebrating the incredible journey of female friendships in all their forms. This brand-new series dives into the highs and lows that come with these special bonds, offering a space to connect, inspire and reflect on the power of friendship. Through honest and heartfelt interviews, we aim to foster a deeper appreciation for female friendships’ unique dynamics and complexities.
In this article, Tobi and Simi, besties who are entrepreneurs and pastry chefs in the same line of work and run their respective catering and baking businesses with each other’s support, take us on the wholesome journey of their friendship, which is as beautiful and sweet as the desserts they make and sell.
When and How Did You Meet?
Tobi: I met her in secondary school in 2014. I think we were in JSS3 then. We didn’t talk much, but somehow, our friendship grew.
Simi: It was actually in Jss2. We met in 2012, but we started talking better in 2013. We became good friends in 2014/2015.
What Was Your First Impression of Her?
Tobi: I thought she was a playful girl who loved food a little too much.
Simi: She was a mean ass that could beat someone up.
Tobi: Omg stopppp!
What is Your Impression of Her Now?
Tobi: An annoying babe who knows me more than I know myself. I hate it, kmt.
Simi: Mumu, but you love me like that.
Simi: She’s the best thing that’s happened to me since sliced bread.
(Insert collective aww-ing)
What Brings You Together and Unifies You in Your Friendship? Do You Have Things in Common, or Is It an Opposite-Attract Situation?
Simi: I think we have things in common and also many things in which we are opposites.
Tobi: I like the fact that we run the same type of business, so we get to talk about business hurdles together. For example, if there’s an increase in the price of flour, I’m calling her to ask if she has bought it at that price already. Also, to an extent, I think we have the same values, so it’s easy for us to have conversations.
Simi: Our business, for one, brings us together because we teach ourselves things. Our tolerance and temperaments are, however, VERY different.
Tobi: If I deck you.
Please Expand on this: How are Your Temperaments and Tolerance Levels Different?
Simi: I’m the calm one; she’s the impatient one. But then, she has a higher level of tolerance in the sense that she’s more forgiving than I am. I don’t have time. I’m more of the on-to-the-next-one type of friend girl. Most people think I’m the nicer one (a win is a win still), but it’s really her.
How Does it Feel to Be in the Same Line of Business as Your Friend?
Tobi: For me, I think it actually built/grew our friendship more. We have so many things to relate about, like talking about customer stress and all.
Simi: It’s really great. Complaints can be understood without having to explain a million things. We can use each other’s things when we go to each other’s houses without having to pack the whole world. Another plus is that you get to eat food because you have the taste buds of a seasoned taster. That reminds me, Tobi, small chops tomorrow wys?
Tobi: Where are my pies? And bring your pan tomorrow.
(They’re too cute; it must also be nice to have access to so much good food and treats.)
Tell us About Some of Your “Big Fights” and How You Resolve Conflict
Simi: Funny enough, we rarely fight. Yes, we call out each other’s bs, but we hardly fight. We had one big fight at the beginning of last year, though, that almost tore the friendship apart, and it stemmed from my inability to resolve conflicts properly at that time. It’s difficult for me to communicate when offended, which had piled up for years.
It was resolved in about a week. A lot of things were said, triggers were hit, but at the end of the “week,” we came to a conclusion. I remember her telling me she didn’t think she wanted us to be friends anymore. I dey class that day dey cry like mumu. But right now, we resolve issues by talking either on the spur of the moment or after a while. For some time now, though, there has been no conflict to resolve.
Tobi: Well, truthfully, I can’t actually remember what exactly caused our last fight, but I remember I sent so many messages to her, and she ignored me for days and just left my messages there. She later came back to respond, saying she wasn’t in the headspace to talk.
Even after we resolved it, it affected the friendship a bit, but what I’ve noticed in any relationship or friendship is that if two people are willing to make things work, it will always work. And she’s right, we hardly fight. Both of us know how to take the truth in. The truth can be bitter, but I love that she tells me the truth without sugarcoating. No matter how bitter it is, Simi will tell the truth. I usually don’t even know these things about myself, but after thinking about it, she’s right.
I should add that I got to understand her better after we had that misunderstanding, so I’m glad it happened. Simi finds it extremely difficult to open up, which I realised late, so I take it upon myself to continuously ask about issues until she can open up easily. I’m very patient, and to an extent, I try my best before giving up.
(Patience, openness and understanding; it’s no wonder they’ve stayed friends this long)
What is Your Least Favourite Thing About Her, and What Do You Love Most About Her?
Tobi: What I love most about her is how she understands me so well without even having to explain too much. Funny how Simi can tell my mood from my replies.
My least favourite thing about her is that she isn’t easily able to open up about what she’s going through.
Simi: My least favourite thing about Tobi is that she gets anxious very easily, and also her level of tolerance.
One of my favourite things about her is that she doesn’t cower from change when I tell her about things. If she’s doing something wrong or not in the right way and we have a conversation about it, she listens, and that’s something most people don’t have. Aside from the fact that she cooks for me, I find her to be one of my safe spaces, and she also calls me at the slightest inconvenience.
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