From college friends to childhood besties, our new series, “Girlfriends”, is dedicated to exploring and celebrating the incredible journey of female friendships in all their forms. This brand-new series dives into the highs and lows that come with these special bonds, offering a space to connect, inspire and reflect on the power of friendship. Through honest and heartfelt interviews, we aim to foster a deeper appreciation for female friendships’ unique dynamics and complexities.
Meet Teni and Tope, the cutest duo in long-distance bestfriendship goals. It was a match made in heaven when they first met and their shoes were matching. For them, it’s been over 10 years, spanning long facetime calls, exciting vacations and professional milestones.
Teni is the spreadsheet-slinging London girl with a sharp wit and a heart so full, she writes love letters a year in advance. Tope, the sweet-toothed Canadian finance manager, is as grounded as she is graceful — always ready with a laugh (and a quiet roast of Teni’s fashion choices).
Together, they’ve mastered the art of showing up, evolving with each other, and making intentional space for friendship even when life gets busy. They know the value of calling each other out with love, of balancing relationship shifts and time zones, and of saying “you’re my person” in a million little ways.
Speaking to them reminds me that soulmates do not always have to be romantic — sometimes, she’s your bestie who lives on another continent yet still knows what you’re thinking before you say it.
Hello ladies! Please can you introduce yourself ?
Teni: Hi! I’m Teni, I’m 26 and based in London, and I work in Asset & Liquidity Management at an Investment Bank. In simple terms, I make sure money flows where it needs to, when it needs to — kind of like being the calm in the middle of a financial storm (but let’s be honest, it’s not as dramatic as it sounds sha — it’s giving spreadsheets and backend chaos lol).
Tope: Hi ladies, my name is Temi or Tope, never both—feel free to choose. I am a woman of few words but specific tastes. You can find me in Toronto, living, loving and learning through this journey of life. 3 random facts about me: I love having fun. I have a very sweet tooth. And, I am a type A personality in recovery. I don’t necessarily lead with occupation during introductions but for the sake of this, I am a finance manager at TD Bank.
How did you two first meet, and what were your first impressions of each other?
Was it accurate to who she was as a person?
Teni: It was one random day in Year 8 — this new girl had just joined and obviously everyone was surrounding her (as per secondary school protocol lol). I didn’t really click with her or anything at first, I just noticed we were wearing the same Primark school shoes and I was like “omg we have the same shoes”… then walked away lmao.
We didn’t really speak again until years later when we ended up in the same friendship group of 5 — and then somehow, slowly but surely, it just became the two of us. Then a random day in 2013/2014, she sent me a meme thread that had like four pictures and the last one read ‘will you be my bestfriend?’ and I was like “OMGGGG ARE YOU ASKING ME TO BE YOUR BESTIE” fyi I’m the dramatic friend so I made a big deal of it.
I’ve always thought Tope was so smart, really cute and just put together. You know those people who look like they just have it all figured out? Yeah, that was my impression.
Tope: My first encounter with Teni was in secondary school. I had joined the set in year 8. I remember standing in front of my class and as she was passing by me, she stopped to comment on my shoe! Cos we were wearing the same shoes. I didn’t have another memorable encounter with her for a while after that…not until maybe year 10.
My first impression was she was very social. I would keep seeing her around school in different circles laughing. juniors, seniors, teachers, and it’s 100% accurate to who she is as a person? She is very outgoing. That has not changed. Always cracking jokes, bringing life to every room—she’s special in that way.
Was there a specific moment when you realized, “This is my person”?
Teni: Yes! LOL. I remember the exact date—November 24, 2019.
Even though we’d been besties for 6 years by then, that morning hit different. It was like 5 am, we’d been on FaceTime for hours, and we randomly decided to write letters to our future selves. It was such a moist moment, but also super emotional and vulnerable for both of us.
I remember typing and just realising how easy it had been to be fully myself with her all those years. That morning shifted something in me, and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been able to fully put it into words.
I still write letters for her that I only deliver a year or two later lol. She never knows until it shows up.
I think at random times when I’m upset about something/someone and the way Tope gets sooo angry and protective of me, I’m just like yeah this is my person. Of course afterwards I feel awful cause I have to spend soooo long convincing her to like the person again.
Tope: There isn’t a single moment that comes to mind to be honest. I think over time, it has just been solidified. It’s just known, just understood and I love that for us. Teni is my A star girl.
What Brings You Together and Unifies You in Your Friendship? Do You Have Things in Common, or Is It an Opposite-Attract Situation?
Teni: We’re so different but also soooo similar. It’s actually wild. I’m definitely the extrovert, and she’s more chill — but when it’s time to be outside? We will BOTH be outside. And when it’s time to relax and ‘bond’? We are there too.
Ranting is the easiest thing with her because, nine times out of ten, we’re on the same side. LMAO. We’re both super ambitious and always scheming up the next move together, like taking professional exams.
Personality-wise, we’re different… but sometimes it feels like we’re literally the same person. Same food, same thoughts, same sentences being finished, we like/don’t like the same people. She keeps me grounded, and we’ve been through every phase together.
Tope: We have very similar values and perspectives – aside from certain one-off situations, where we’d argue our points to the ground, then agree to disagree. So, that helps. We also have similar humour, although she tells the jokes. I just laugh till I’m about to pass out.
As much as we have those in common, we are still very different people in terms of style, fashion, music, etc., and we always tease each other about our differences in “fashions.”
Think back to the past. Was there an experience you both had together that, when you remember, you laugh out loud or use as the hooking conversation starter when people comment on the bond you share?
Teni: There are soooo many.
Luckily for us, we’ve had so many funny stories from travelling. One is about us being on holiday years ago and then getting so broke we had to sit down, empty our bags, count how much we had left, and change the itinerary. Other stories include almost getting charged by Airbnb hosts for all sorts of things and ending up at some racist clubs in New York. Our own is always so different.
Tope: Chile, we have so many. LMAO. I can’t even begin. We joke about how, whenever we link up, something memorable (borderline disastrous) happens. It was so bad when we were younger, but we’ve outgrown that luck (thank God), and things run smoothly for our link-ups these days.
Have you ever had a major disagreement? How did you navigate it?
Teni: A few, but we had one earlier in the year, which made us stronger. We’ve always communicated well with each other, but this time I was holding it a bit longer than I should have. By the time we unpacked it, I understood the importance of communicating with your loved ones. You can’t be shy or uncomfortable calling your best friend out (with love) because you need to navigate things together. It’s funny because every time we have an issue, I know she’s my sister, and it’s like we’re never going to stop being sisters, but we still need to vex, talk about it and move on. That’s the one thing that has helped us every time there’s been a disagreement. Ranting to someone else will never resolve anything because they’re not in the friendship. So just set your pride aside, call them out and figure it out.
Tope: Major? No. We rarely ever have disagreements. I remember though, one period in high school when we weren’t speaking. For the life of me I can’t remember what exactly caused it. Looking back, it was just secondary school cho cho cho. But we eventually settled and came back stronger.
Then, we were younger, but now? We’ve evolved into having a mature friendship. For any issues, we just discuss and iron them out. I keep encouraging her to come to me first.
Up to 10 years being friends, wow. How do you handle changes in your friendship, such as new relationships, careers, or even living in different cities?
Teni: Our friendship has been through so many changes, new jobs, new relationships, and we already live in different countries (Canada/London). We’ve always just carved out time for each other. I remember a few years ago when we both started 9-5 jobs and couldn’t be on facetime as much as before, I had a strict time I called her that worked well with my work hours and the time difference and even if it was only for 15 mins, that call would still happen Lockdown was amazing for our friendship, working from home on FaceTime together.
We always try to see each other at least once a year, and for so long we’d save towards it/plan a year out to make sure it happens. Serious planning has been involved o.
With new relationships, there’s always been a period of ‘adjusting’ because some things might change whether you like it or not, but then it’s just about extending grace to the other person to fit you into the new life. It’s always worked for us because we’ve both prioritised each other, so we always find a new balance quickly.
Tope: Honestly, we take it as it comes because, of course, the only thing constant is change. As change comes, we adjust, make room and give space for one another. Honestly, it’s all about making accommodations, adjustments and fitting each other into our schedules, no matter how crazy it may be.
What do you love about her that you always say?
Teni: I always say I love how smart she is – she’s so hardworking and driven. She cares about the little things and the big things too. She’s genuinely such a sweet person and is always looking out for her Teni—the one who cries when I cry .
She’s my favourite gist partner ever. As I hear the gist, I picture her reaction. She’s also my favourite person to download to.
I love how we end every call with ‘Love you.’ We end up saying it 3 times every single day, so I’m sure she knows I LOVE HER!
Tope: She has so much capacity when it comes to friendships and maintaining them. It’s a special type of grace I can’t understand. She will check in on the whole world, Chile. But I think it speaks to her caring nature.
It’s also never a dull moment around her. She has such a lively spirit. My mum and aunt still reminisce on the day Teni came over and they gisted for about 4 hours (no water break involved). My aunt was so sad when we had to leave!
What’s one thing you love about her that you never really say out loud and you will want to say right now?
Teni: I don’t say this often, but I really respect her, especially in how she treats people.
I’ve seen her show kindness and respect to everyone, whether it’s someone working for her or a family member. That consistency is such a beautiful trait.
Also… I’ve never told her this, but I’ve had a baby name list for years, just so I could play around with ways to name my future child after her. When I have a kid, their name has to carry a piece of my bestie. #LaborRoomMates”
Tope: Teni is one of the best people to go to for advice. She’s very objective in her analysis and will tell you as it is. Whenever I’m in a bind, I already know who I’m calling.
Also, as a physical touch champion, when she loves you, she could kiss and hug you till the end of the world. I would sometimes ignore her or seem indifferent while she’s being affectionate, but deep down, I love it.
If you had to swap lives for a day, what’s the first thing you’d do as the other person?
Teni: First thing? Transfer myself her savings abeg, she’ll be fine without it!
But for real, I’d love to do her job for a day. I’ve known her forever, but I still don’t fully understand what she does, LMAO. I’d also just vibe to all her favourite songs and live in her world a bit. Maybe that would make us even closer (if that’s even possible, sha).
Tope: Teni is so funny. I just have to attempt stand up comedy at an underground pub lol—to satisfy my curiosity.
A close second is giving her a complete makeover to match my style. I would pay to see her reaction.
If you were to write a “best friend handbook,” what would be the first rule?
Teni: Your best friend is a whole relationship, just like a romantic one.
People always talk about pouring into partners, but your bestie deserves time, love, energy (and money — especially for long-distance friendship flights). And please, not every disagreement equals “cutting people off”, abeg. Calm down, sit down, and talk to your friend. You’ll be fine!
Tope: I’d say show up. In whatever way you can, at any point in your life. However, the goal is to be as open, forthcoming, consistent, present, and intentional as possible. It takes two to tango, so you must remember to do your part. Not to forget, have fun, make memories!
