The Single Girl Diaries is a series that explores the many interesting, unfiltered stories and experiences of single girls everywhere. From the good times to the challenges, we’re here for all of it. The stories cover a wide range of topics, from dating and self-growth to matters of the heart and mind and everything else in between.
In this article, Vivian (24) shares the story of her whirlwind romance with a man she thought was the answer to all her prayers. As a student entrepreneur in Abuja, she was tired of being the over-giver in relationships, only to meet a man whose entire life was a lie funded by charm and deceit.
My Dating Life
My name is Vivian, a 24-year-old student entrepreneur based in Abuja. I run a booming online store, and honestly, life is good. Well, mostly. When it comes to love, it feels like I’m stuck in a never-ending cycle of giving too much and receiving too little. I’m a lover girl, no doubt, but my heart has been broken more times than I can count. I always find myself in relationships where I’m the one investing everything: time, money, effort and emotions–only for it not to be reciprocated. The financial aspect where one would even expect a guy to show up effectively, I barely ever get it. I crave a genuine connection, a partner who matches my energy, a happy marriage, kids and forever, but it seems I keep falling for the wrong kind of guy.
How I First Met Mike
It was a Friday night at a high end lounge. I was just chilling with my girls, minding my business. That’s when I locked eyes with Mike. I’m not even kidding when I say that this man is drop dead gorgeous, and as someone who isn’t comfortable with my man competing in the looks department with me, I just couldn’t resist. A little thing that helped was that I had actually seen him in the parking lot when I was entering the lounge, he was in a sleek black Prado. Him plus the car? It got me wet.
He came over later to my table a couple of hours later, and not gonna lie, he was too clean. He introduced himself as Mike, and asked my friends and I if we wanted to join him and his friends to go to the club. We all agreed. From what we could see, his friends passed the vibe check. 2 of my friends rode with one of his guys, while myself and 2 of my other friends rode in Mike’s Prado. On our way to the club, we all got talking, but I could tell he was more interested in my friend, Efe*, than he was with the remaining 2 of us. I was a bit jealous sitting at the back so I wasn’t as bubbly as I would normally have been.
From the conversation between him and Efe* in the car I learnt that he was a business man, into real estate, particularly restaurants and hotels. He started name dropping the building projects he had overseen in Abuja and Lagos and the people he even knew, and they were huge!
We got to the club and my girls and I got spoiled. It was an amazing time. Somehow somehow, I was too drunk to remember how this occured, but Mike became my man for the night. Perhaps it was because Efe* was seeing someone at the time, that’s why she didn’t give Mike any vivid green light while we were partying. Me? I was on a hunt. I wanted Mike, bad.
By the end of the night, he had my Instagram not my number because I needed to immediately show him that I am all about the lifestyle. Honestly, I was so done with dusties and Mike seemed like an answered prayer. On the way back to my house, ‘cause he drove me home, he spoke with the sexiest confidence, asking about my business with genuine interest and still dropping impressive names and figures. I was elated. He didn’t even ask for a kiss when I got down of the car and that impressed me.
The first thing the next morning, this man DMs me, “I am making reservations for lunch. How does 2pm sound?”
Okay, you tell me, how won’t you fall in love?
The Lavish Romance
Our relationship was a movie. Our dates were at the most exclusive, expensive spots in my city. He showered me with gifts—a coach bag for our one-month anniversary, flowers and chocolates just because. Our conversations were deep and effortless. He was my biggest supporter, always offering advice on how to scale my business.
I was completely smitten. My friends loved him. “Vi, you’ve finally found your person!” they’d say. I was on cloud nine. This was it. This was the partnership I had been praying for. He was successful, charming, and he seemed to adore me.
The Cracks Begin to Show
But even in the movies, there’s always a plot twist. The first red flag was so small I barely noticed it. He’d occasionally mention an “urgent deal that needs quick cash flow.” He’d ask for a loan, never a huge amount, maybe ₦50,000 here, ₦200,000 there, always promising to pay it back with interest. Me, understanding girlfriend with a thriving business, I’d send the money. Truth is, at first he always paid back with a juicy interest, but the requests started to feel way too frequent. At a point, I would give him money and tell him not to pay back, but that didn’t happen too often.
One day, I pointed out that he was stinking rich so why does he always need urgent 2k from me of all people, his response was that he isn’t always liquid and that he ties most of his wealth in assets.
Then there was the issue of his home. He claimed to live in a mansion in Lifecamp but never once invited me over. The excuses were always ready: “The renovations are a mess, Vi” or “My family is visiting from the village, it’s too chaotic.” We always met at restaurants or stayed in luxury hotels and sometimes in my apartment, which he claimed he preferred for “privacy.”
And then, there are sometimes he would completely ghost. When he resurfaces, to explain his disappearance, he would mention his involvement in a vague business deal that was top secret. That meant I couldn’t question him further.
The Prado Mystery
The biggest red flag, that I conveniently ignored was how sometimes he’d pick me up in a beat-up Toyota Corolla, laughing it off. “My baby is in the spa,” he’d say, in reference to the Prado being serviced at a mechanic’s shop.
The mystery unraveled one morning. I joined a friend for a run. Across the street there was a fleet of luxury cars, including Prado’s. And Mike, who had told me about a week ago that he travelled, was right there talking to a man. With my two eyes, I saw him hand over keys to the man, and get into his Toyota Corolla. That is when everything clicked.
I froze. My mind was racing, trying to make sense of what I just saw but I couldn’t express my feelings because I didn’t want the girl I was running with to be all up in my business. Later that day, I called my friend Aisha*, who knows everybody in Abuja. I told her about Mike, his real estate business, and the Prado. She told me she would get back to me but when she did, she didn’t have anything concrete to report. But it was her who told me about how many Abuja guys are notorious for pretending to be rich as a way to scam women. On our call, Aisha* asked for a picture of Mike and it hit me that my man and I have never taken a picture together. He would gladly take pics of me but he would never allow me take pictures of him. He would talk about how shy he was and I believed him because all his social media was private and he never had any personal identifiers on it.
Since my boyfriend was still “out of town”, I summoned the courage to face the truth and went out to the same street I saw his ghost in, the street with the fleet of luxury cars. I spoke to the attendant present and apparently I could rent any of the cars, starting from N100,000 naira. I asked the attendant if he knew Mike and I described him to the tea, but the attendant feigned ignorance. I was so mad. There and there, I facetimed Mike and showed him my surroundings plus the attendant and though he didn’t admit anything, I just knew from the initial silence when he picked up the call, that this man was a pathological liar and that my instincts were correct: His whole life was a lie. After the call, I asked the attendant again if he knew Mike, but this time around, he got hostile with me.
I blocked Mike everywhere immediately. I don’t care for closure, especially with people who lack integrity. And I am convinced that if he can lie his way all through our relationship, he can kill.
The Unraveling
The heartbreak was sharp, but oddly, the experience made me feel empowered. I had been searching for an Odogwu, and got blinded by his fake stupid life, when all this while, I was the Odogwu myself. There’s nothing Mike provided me that I couldn’t acquire myself. Well, except from the fact that he got me interested in investing. If I had pictures of him, I swear I would have sent it to Instablog to post. What a lying piece of shit. My friends told me that Mike wasn’t sophisticated enough in what he was trying to do, else it wouldn’t have clicked so easily. I just thank God that it never reached the point where I loaned him a huge chunk of money that he would never have returned, because according to the people I eventually confided it, these things happen.
