Tread carefully, major spoilers ahead!!!
What do you do when you find out the love of your life is cheating on you with not one, not two, but about twenty women? Go watch it, it gets worse.
Netflix’s Umjolo: The Gone Girl follows Lethu (played by Sibongisensi Shezi), a skilled event planner and devoted romantic. Her seemingly ideal relationship with Lucky (played by Tyson Mathonsi) begins to crumble under the weight of secrets and infidelity. Lethu discovers that Lucky has been unfaithful, leading her to confront the realities of love, loyalty, and self-worth.
The story captures the complexities of modern relationships, from Lethu agreeing to an open relationship with Lucky to the emotional fallout when the arrangement reveals deeper truths. Themes of betrayal, self-discovery, and resilience are woven into the narrative as Lethu navigates her path toward independence and clarity.
The film, offering a sharp critique of modern-day relationship dynamics, balances emotional depth with humor—kudos the the narrator! The movie was such a fun and engaging watch with spicy and believable sex scenes that are normally lacking in African TV.
Watch this if:
- You like movies where women eventually realise they are the prize.
- You want to be stressed out in a way that makes you want to enter your TV set and slap a man who behaves like a dog or a best friend who is a snake.
- If you’re a hopeless romantic who needs to learn these five lessons about love in this modern world:
Lessons I Learned While Watching Netflix’s Umjolo: The Gone Girl
1. Many times, a man is the company he keeps:
Lethu opened her eyes and accepted to marry a man whose brother was a chronic cheat, and it didn’t raise any red flags for her. A lot of times in the movie, Lucky, with Lethu’s knowledge, would always try and cover up for Themba (played by Ntando Menzi Mncube), his cheating brother, and then the times he was caught outrightly, it was Lucky who would use his sweet mouth to help initiate the reconciliation process. All that should have been enough for Lethu to get suspicious of her own relationship. If she somewhat believed that birds of the same feathers flock together, she would have gone through Lucky’s phone way sooner than she did and discovered that he was no different from this brother.
Truly, we are the company we keep. If you’re spending a substantial amount of time with someone, it isn’t rocket science that you will subconsciously start picking up their language, behaviors, quirks, and perspectives. So, newsflash: if your crush or man not only condones cheating, abuse, or misogyny but is also buddy-buddy with another man who is actively engaged in such, 9/10 of times, your man is a cheat, abuser, or misogynist. And if he isn’t, chances are, his friend’s behavior will rub off on him with time.
When you notice a man you’re into has questionable friends, rather than burying your head in the sand and saying “he is different”, put on your investigative hat and start digging around; you just might find some skeletons that will spook you tf out.
2. There’s no relationship worth losing yourself over:
Lethu isn’t happy when she agrees to an open relationship with Lucky as a way to sustain their relationship after she gets wind of his infidelity. It’s clear she yearns for a fairytale love story where her prince belongs to her only. Yet, she is convinced that she can’t live without Lucky, so she goes against what her heart desires.
There’s no relationship worth losing yourself over because you will not only look back in regret for betraying yourself, but your efforts will also be shat on by the same person who you decided to prioritise over your happiness. I mean, can you imagine that after Lethu agreed to an open relationship to keep Lucky happy, the foolish man had the audacity to call Lethu a whore when he thought she invited a man over to their house for sex. Ha! You give men a taste of their own medicine, and they call it poison.
When it dawns on Lethu that she needs to choose herself, she asks herself very thought-provoking and important questions regarding the relationship she was struggling to keep with Lucky: Is my heart safe here? Do I feel seen and valued and held? Do I love this person? But, more importantly, do they love me in the way that I need?”
3. Trust your gut:
After Lethu discovers Lucky’s jarring infidelity, she takes a break from the normal routine of her life and retreats to her grandmother’s village to think properly about her next move. There, she confides in her grandma, who unsurprisingly advises her to stay with the man who gave her chlamydia—she tells her that “leaving a cheating man is like leaving a country when it rains.” I think that a big part of Lethu going back to Lucky in the first instance had to do with the fact that she sought an outside opinion of how she should handle the situation, and that outside opinion, her grandma, advised her terribly. Perhaps, if Lethu trusted her gut, as she’s kuku, the only one who knows what her eyes saw, she never would have given Lucky another second of her time.
When something happens in your relationship, something that shakes you to the core, you don’t always need to second yourself and seek external sources to tell you how to proceed. Instead, look within and look truthfully, all the answers you have are within you.
4. Keep your mouth shut; not everyone in your corner wants you to win
Seriously, your enemies are sometimes closer than you think. Lethu would always gush about her perfect relationship to her best friend and assistant, Amanda. Meanwhile, Amanda was desperately bussing it down for Lucky at any possible opportunity. This is the same Amanda that Lethu was an amazing friend to and the same Amanda who wiped Lethu’s tears during the breakup. She really had Lethu fooled.
It’s okay to move in silence. Use your discernment and carefully choose what needs to be heard by others and what you can keep safe within yourself—not every time, cho cho cho cho. As a hopeless romantic, chances are you want to scream and shout about your love that compares to a thousand splendid suns, but do you always need to? Sad as it may be, not everyone is genuinely happy for you, so enjoy your joy in peace and be careful about what you put out about yourself to the world so that someone else isn’t motivated by jealousy to ruin it for you.
5. Whatever you allow will surely continue:
Themba consistently and constantly cheats on his wife, Mayi (played by Nirvana Mokwe), because he knows she is ever ready to forgive and take him back. There’s a saying that goes: “Be mindful of what you tolerate. What you tolerate, you permit. What you permit, persists. What persists, becomes the norm.” In other words, whatever you allow will continue.
When it comes to modern dating, there’s no need to betray your feelings or allow your boundaries to be broken to accommodate a trait you detest in a potential partner. It’s simply not sustainable. It’s easier to end things there and then when you’ve not fallen in too deep—once is enough—rather than making excuses in the hope that such behavior won’t be exhibited again.
