The internet refused to shut up about this film, so it was only right I succumbed to peer pressure and watched it immediately. Netflix teen flicks are usually very hit or miss so I did not have the highest expectations. I mean these are the same people that brought us Tall Girl and First Kill. I was told to expect a sapphic, cutesy story that was kind of similar to Clueless and Mean Girls. At first, I got the vibe but as the film went on it became clear that this was no ordinary teen flick. Here are 99 real time thoughts I had while watching Do Revenge.
- Another high-school movie, wonderful.
- Why do all these supposed teenagers look 26?
- Cami Mendes as Drea, popular but “poor” lead, this’ll be interesting.
- The Gen Z lingo is strong. “Choosing violence” osheyy.
- I didn’t even know other people could find out you were on scholarship in high school.
- She set the mean girl up to donate her clothes to Salvation Army, nice one.
- Why does her boyfriend have a pornstar moustache? He looks so sleazy.
- He looks familiar. Euphoria maybe?
- Not him asking her for something to “keep him company this summer” Red flag number 2! The moustache was the first.
- That Snapchat notification sound is the sound of sin.
- Ah yes, the leaked video cliché. Women have suffered.
- She punched him, very good!
- AHHHH SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR.
- The protagonist gunning for an Ivy League school cliché. When will we be free?
- High school IS cringe, Drea’s right.
- It won’t be a 2022 high school movie without an Olivia Rodrigo song.
- Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke cloned themselves because ain’t no way. Maya Hawke as Eleanor is really something.
- Okay, so we have 2 narrators?
- Sophie Turner! When was the last time we even saw her?
- Eleanor wearing a shirt that says ‘Models Suck’ whilst having a model body is so interesting.
- How did she even plant cocaine on Sophie’s character? Where’d she get it? I have SO many questions about this particular scene.
- Eleanor saying her dad “restored classic cars” made me giggle. There should be a cliché bingo card.
- This car scene is so long. I’m kind of more focused on the trees in the background.
- White girls are so interesting, why did Eleanor just yell?
- Whoops, Drea screamed too.
- Eleanor breaking the 4th wall with the 90s teen movie reference, nice.
- The cliques are so different in this generation. Instagram witches? Zodiac Thots?
- These uniforms are so cute. I love lavender.
- How can her ex and her best friend be dating?? Cliché bingo card strikes again!
- This Eleanor babe is always saying some poetic shit.
- Max dey craze sha. How can he centre himself like this? This speech is so dumb.
- The filmmaker in me is experiencing bliss. The creative thinking behind the angles? Amazing.
- The big idea has been cooked up in the toilet (where all good things happen, naturally).
- This plan sha, ko bosi. Let’s see though.
- Glennergy. Nuff said.
- I’m really into this “revenge mommy” phrase, I can’t lie.
- Cliché bingo card alert! The classic makeover scenes.
- If you cut my hair because of a makeover I will fight you.
- How can you call someone a human Birkenstock?
- This Russ’ blue hair is fine sha.
- Do these people genuinely find Max attractive??
- He’s chewing gum like a goat.
- Eleanor has a painting of Jackie O on her wall, could she get any more edgy?
- I want a playlist of all the songs in this movie.
- This farm based banter between Drea and Russ is…dead.
- The tension between Gabbi and Eleanor, whew! *fans self*
- Why are women with this Max guy?!
- The anxiety in this scene with Eleanor hidden in the closet.
- This Clarissa babe dey grow ganja and shrooms on school grounds *gasp*
- Drea and Eleanor drugged the food with shrooms? Isn’t this like a crime of some sort?
- I just can’t stop thinking that people are going to get crazy hurt.
- Even when Max is tripping, he’s still self-absorbed.
- How can they expel Clarissa AND send her to rehab.
- Aw, Drea and Eleanor bonding.
- This Instagram Witch is really dedicated o. Black witch hat and black lipstick. The high school I went to would’ve organised deliverance by now.
- Male love interest with a motorcycle driving high school girl to a secret location! Extra points for his parents going through a divorce. Bingo!
- All this paint all over their school uniform? Na wa.
- Eleanor choking when Max spoke about respecting women. Same girl, same.
- BAN MEN! – my personal motto.
- His name is fucking Maximus, again I ask why are so many women on his dick??
- I can’t believe they’re twisting this cheating scandal into polyamory + ass-eating propaganda.
- She lost Yale already?? This movie is about to go downhill. I can’t even keep up.
- Drea is definitely starting to lose it. Does she even care that Eleanor’s birthday’s tomorrow?
- Eleanor seems to be liking this surprise party a lot.
- Drea isn’t even serious. See how she’s so focused on herself on Eleanor’s birthday. What’s the difference between her and the people she hates.
- Gbam! Drea didn’t even remember her birthday.
- Drea’s pants! I’m so in love with them. Take me to Salvation Army too please!
- Sophie Turner is scaring me.
- Not her painting a picture of Nneka the pretty serpent.
- THIS TWIST. AHHHH. NO WAY.
- Oop. So Drea is the actual villain in Eleanor’s story *dead.*
- Eleanor has been plotting on her from the jump omg omg.
- Now, how and why is Eleanor in her house?
- It‘s starting to give psychological thriller.
- She’s carrying crazy trauma sha, I get it.
- Threatening to plant cocaine on her mum? Karma is crazy o.
- SHE HIT HER WITH HER CAR? WHAT IS THIS MOVIE??
- I’m just wondering how Eleanor hid her craziness for so long. Master Revenge Mommy.
- An admissions party where you can only get in through your Ivy League admission letter. Wahala for who wan go community college.
- Eleanor makes me uneasy.
- Now what drug is “K” ? What are these kids doing?
- Drea’s spilling Eleanor/Nora’s tea . uh-oh.
- She pinched her nose, yeee. I personally wouldn’t have that.
- Not Drea just now realising she’s just like the fake friends she hates.
- Drea and Eleanor’s screaming match, it’s giving catharsis.
- Max walking out with a slow cap? Hilarious. Drea calling him cliché? Hilarious-er.
- What even is this scene? Why does Max suddenly know everything? There’s no way he got all of this information from just Eleanor’s texts.
- Men are mad. This Max, very mad. I personally want to punch him.
- I wonder how long the actor practiced this dramatic ass monologue. It lowkey doesn’t even fit in.
- Why Eleanor dey laugh ?
- Double assurance! Whatever that means. She sha got the video of Max confessing to his crimes.
- Incorporating the film title into the dialogue. Cliché bingo check.
- Again I ask, where all these teenagers getting cocaine?
- They are playing the video on the projector but I can barely even hear the dialogue. I’m wondering how these drunk/high party guests can even hear?
- How did they even end up on the beach.
- Yale is back on the table for Drea because of the Max confession. IRL, we know Yale would not give a fuck.
- Driving in a convertible with Bitch playing in the background, a full circle moment.
- They ended up with their ideal significant others! I support this wholeheartedly.
- We love a cute post-credit scene.