As a woman, I write this, irrevocably and utterly exhausted. The past week has reiterated the obvious, the whole world, particularly Nigeria, has a femicide problem. In case you’re not familiar with the word, “femicide”, means the killing of a girl or woman, particularly by a man and on account of her gender. Sometimes, I think we forget the weighing gravity of this word and how its actual rampant existence in society, has life-snuffing, soul-crushing, tears-inducing consequences on us and the women around us. That’s why these days, people fix their mouths to describe femicide as a gender war.
“It can’t be a gender war” like the ignorant women and privileged men might say. When only women are the ones advised to arm themselves with pepper spray, pocket knives and martial arts training, it isn’t a “gender war.” It’s not a gender war when only women are being murdered by men—often by men they know.
To be a woman is to live in constant, visceral fear of an enemy who eerily looks like an ally. And this, my dear, is why it will always be ALL MEN—we don’t have the luxury of knowing until we find out.
What an unfortunate fate it is to be in this body. There’s nowhere on the planet where we are safe from male violence—not at work, not in church, not at home, not with family or friends, and even not when dead. Due to Nigeria’s poor attitude on data collection, there aren’t any accurate statistics on the rate of femicide in the country. However, the DOHS Cares Foundation provides us with a glimpse: in 2024, there have been 76 victims of femicide. Essentially, this means that 2 Nigerian women are killed every week. And these are just the reported cases. I can bet my life that the number of unreported cases is staggering.
Men have declared a full-blown war against women and women are paying for it with their lives. Isn’t it high time we classify misogyny for what it really is? Terrorism.
Femicide in Nigeria:
On the 5th of September, 2024, Ayomide Adeleye, a male 200 Level Philosophy student of the Olabisi Onabanjo University (OOU), Ogun State, confessed on Monday to killing Christianah Idowu after attempting to rape her, a 300 Level student of the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta (FUNAAB). Ayomide and Christianah were friends and attended the same church and school. Christianah fell into Ayomide’s trap when, in the course of her usual routine—she usually goes to UNILAG on weekends to return home on Friday—it started to rain; she took cover in Ayomide (Adeleye)’s family’s shop, which was just outside his house. Then he invited her into his home when the rainfall became heavier, tried to rape her, and when she resisted, killed her. Ayomide’s cruelty didn’t end there. He sent a picture of Christianah’s dead body that he staged to look like she was still alive to her mother to extort N3m.
During investigations, things got even more sinister when it was revealed that Christianah wasn’t Ayomide’s first victim. A few years ago, Ayomide killed his girlfriend and then his own blood sister, but he was never apprehended because his parents helped him cover up the murder. They couldn’t bear to lose a son. Again, what is the value of female life?
“Women, don’t hang around strangers.” But Christianah didn’t seek shelter from a stranger. She KNEW him. She certainly would have let the rain drench her if she knew HER FRIEND would murder her.
The tragic news of Christianah Idowu’s death comes only a few days after the story of 15-year-old Goodluck Bison set Nigeria ablaze. Bison broke into his neighbour’s home in the middle of the night, attacked 14-year-old Mercy Vangervihi – who was asleep in her bed – with a pestle, and, while she bled out, raped her. Mercy is currently in a coma. How horrifying to know that a minor was so determined to violate his classmate that he snuck into her home at night, smashed her skull, and could still maintain an erection to rape her. How terrifying.
“Women, don’t go out at night.” But Mercy Vangervihi wasn’t outside at night. She was fast asleep in her home when a boy attacked her!
Since 2020, there has been a surge in cases of rape and femicide. In April 2024, Andrew Ochekwo (now deceased) murdered Celine Ndudim and Afibah Tandoh who went to visit him at his residence in Abia state. The killer was shot while trying to escape police custody.
In July 2023, Benjamin Best Nnanyereugo, also known as “Kilaboi,” murdered his girlfriend, Augusta ‘Austa’ Osedion, a social media influencer and content creator. Still Benjamin “Kilaboi” roams free.
In October of the same year, Damian Okoligwe murdered his girlfriend, Justina Otuene, in the city of Port Harcourt. An autopsy report revealed that a vital organ was removed at the time of her death. Damian Okoligwe is currently undergoing trial.
On April 8, 2022, popular gospel singer Osinachi Nwachukwu died in a hospital in Abuja after she was beaten and kicked in the chest by her husband and manager, Peter Nwachukwu, in whose hands her children and close family members disclosed she had endured years of domestic abuse.
In April 2021, a job-hunting graduate of the University of Uyo, Ini Umoren, was kidnapped, raped and killed by Uduak Frank Akpan, who buried her body in a shallow grave in his house. In August 2022, Akpan was found guilty and sentenced to death by hanging.
In June 2020, Bamise Ayanwole was raped and murdered in February 2022 by a Lagos State Transit Bus Driver, Andrew Omininikoron. She boarded his vehicle on her way to visit her family. Four years later, Bamise is yet to get justice.
“If you’re using public transport, avoid private cars. Use government motors.” But Bamise used a BRT bus!
In May of that same year, Vera Uwaila ‘Uwa’ Omozuwa, a 20-year-old student at the University of Benin was raped and killed by a group of men right inside a Church in Edo state. Till today, her killers have not been apprehended.
“Women, stop going to dangerous places like clubs.” But Vera Omozuwa wasn’t in a club. She was in church!
Even outside Nigeria, women remain an endangered group:
In 2022, the United Nations registered a whopping reported 89,000 cases of intentional killings of women and girls worldwide, the highest yearly number recorded in the past two decades. Around 48,800 women and girls worldwide were killed by their intimate partners or other family members. This means that, on average, more than 133 women or girls were killed every day by someone in their own family. With an estimated 20,000 victims in 2022, Africa was the region with the most significant number of killings and also with the highest level of violence relative to the size of its female population.
On 3rd September 2024, a Ugandan Olympian, Rebecca Cheptegai, was doused with petrol and set on fire by a former boyfriend, Dickson Ndiema. She succumbed to her burn injuries and died. Achieving doesn’t insulate you from male violence.
Currently ongoing in France is the case of a 71-year-old man, Dominique Pelicot, who is standing trial with about fifty other men for the rape of his own wife, Gisèle Pélicot. For over ten years, this man continuously drugged his wife of 50 years and invited strangers to participate in raping her while she was unconscious and without condoms too.
Dominique acted the role of devoted husband as his wife, Gisèle, spent years believing she had an unknown strange illness because she couldn’t account for her time. At some point, her children and other relatives suspected she had Alzheimer’s disease. All this while, her husband knew what was happening. In TEN years, not ONE man her husband came across decided to report to the authorities—10 years, almost 100 men, even the ones that declined, kept silent. Most of them living within 1km of the Pélicot’s home. Bruh.
“Your father/brother/ husband protects you. Stop saying all men are scum because that means the men closest to you are included.”
Not all men, but consider Gisèle Pélicot’s husband, with whom she shared 50 years of her life and had children. Not all men, but over 90 male strangers from a small town of 6,000, where a high proportion frequented harmful platforms and allowed her husband to recruit them. Not all men, but men with STDs and HIV who didn’t care about using condoms. Not all men, but her ‘polite’ neighbour whom she regularly interacted with. Not all men, right? But far too many men.
In India, a new and more evil atrocity is committed each day. According to India’s government data, an average of 90 rapes a day were reported in 2022. On August 9th, Dr. Moumita Debnath, a female trainee doctor was raped and killed by several men while at work, IN THE HOSPITAL. It will be reported later on that her name appeared on porn sites as men sought out footage of the assault.
Women are the “emotional gender”, and yet, every minute, a man kills a woman because he cannot control his envy, rage or lust.
Alluding women’s genuine protests against femicide to “misandry” is laughable, a silly attempt to silence us, to force us to pander to likability politics. Why should I care about being liked by a person with a high propensity to kill me? Men, as a collective, have never been afraid to leave their houses for fear of androcide.
As a collective, men do not view their mothers, sisters and female partners with distrust. Misogyny lets men kill their wives for things as mundane as not cooking. It enables men to rape female infants fresh from the womb. It allows men to withhold opportunities from women who don’t sleep with them. Misogyny is what has emboldened the Taliban to ban women in Afghanistan from speaking or showing their faces outside their homes. This has led to the possible (damaging) amendment of Nigeria’s Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act. It encourages men to control women’s bodies.
Misogyny is why many perpetrators of violence against women still roam free today. Misogyny is systemic oppression. It is a weapon of mass destruction, profoundly ingrained and normalized in our culture. Because misogyny is well and alive, women are second-class citizens. So, we refuse to let anyone say that our response to male violence is remotely equivalent to misogyny. The so-called misandry is a patriarchal myth.
Again, I ask, this time, with tears welling up in my eyes, what is it about this body we are in? Any of these women could be me. Any of them could be you. Women are the only “animals” who live, breathe and walk among their predators.
To be a woman, is to be hunted.
