Let’s paint a familiar picture. You’ve arrived at a networking event looking lovely, your outfit is giving exactly what it needs to give, and you’ve even managed to get there on time. There is just one small problem: you don’t know anybody.
Across the room, people are laughing over conversations you weren’t invited into. Someone is exchanging business cards, another person appears to know half the room, and you’re suddenly very interested in the little plate of small chops you’ve been holding for the past ten minutes. You know you should be talking to people. After all, you didn’t get dressed, leave your house and spend money on transport just to eat free samosa. You’re here to make connections, learn a thing or two, meet interesting people and, if we’re being honest, hopefully find someone who knows someone who might have a job opportunity, a business lead or a very useful introduction. But walking up to a stranger and starting a conversation? Easier said than done.
For some of us, networking doesn’t come naturally. We can talk for three hours with a friend about absolutely nothing, but suddenly forget how to form a sentence when we’re standing next to a woman who runs a successful company. And while there’s nothing wrong with a little social anxiety, it would be a shame to let it stop you from getting to know people and allowing them to get to know you. Sometimes networking leads to a friendship. Sometimes it’s a mentorship. Sometimes it’s a job opportunity you didn’t know existed. And sometimes you flex your social skills muscles and simply have a really good conversation. The trick is knowing how to get one started.
Here are 27 conversation starters to keep in your back pocket.
Let’s start with breaking the ice
You don’t have to open with something profound. In fact, please don’t. Nobody needs a stranger asking them to share their five-year plan before they’ve even settled into their seat.
Start small, get comfortable and let the conversation find its feet.
1. ‘What brought you here today?’
Simple, friendly and almost impossible to get wrong. You might discover that the person beside you came specifically for a particular speaker, is representing an organisation or simply heard there would be good people to meet. Whatever the answer, you’ve got somewhere to take the conversation.
2. ‘Have you attended any of these events before?’
A good one when you’re at a conference or industry gathering. If they’re a regular, they might have a few recommendations on which sessions to attend, people to meet or events worth adding to your calendar.
3. ‘What do you do, and how did you get into it?’
Yes, we’re keeping the classic ‘What do you do?’ question. It isn’t boring when you actually care about the answer. The interesting part is asking how they got there. You might discover that the woman working in finance originally wanted to be a journalist or that the founder of a company started her business from her university hostel room.
4. ‘What’s the most interesting thing you’ve worked on recently?’
People love talking about things they’re excited about. It also gives you a better sense of what someone actually does beyond the title on their business card.
5. ‘Who else would you recommend I listen to or meet while I’m here?’
This is one of my favourites. You’re essentially asking someone to help you make the most of the room you’re already in. You could walk away with two or three new introductions simply because you asked.
For the girl who wants to move up in her career
At some point, you have to stop looking at successful women and wondering how they got there. You can actually ask them. One of the best things about meeting people who are a few steps ahead of you is that they can offer a perspective you won’t necessarily find in a book or career development webinar.
So, the next time you meet someone whose career you admire, try these.
6. ‘What’s one thing you wish you knew when you were starting out?’
A question that almost always produces an interesting answer. It could be about choosing the right workplace, learning to speak up in meetings, understanding office politics or realising that being good at your job isn’t always enough. Take notes. Some lessons are better learnt through someone else’s experience.
7. ‘If you could go back and change one thing about your career journey, what would it be?’
We’re often so busy looking at people’s achievements that we forget there were probably a few wrong turns along the way. This question gives you a glimpse into the decisions, mistakes and missed opportunities behind someone’s success.
8. ‘What skills do you think young professionals should be paying more attention to right now?’
You don’t want to spend three years perfecting a skill that your industry is rapidly moving away from. Whether it’s technology, financial literacy, communication, leadership or artificial intelligence, hearing what experienced professionals consider valuable can help you decide where to invest your time.
9. ‘How did you know it was time to make your next career move?’
Should you stay at your current job and build experience? Apply for that promotion? Move to another organisation? Start something of your own? These decisions can be difficult, especially when you’re still figuring out what you want. Hearing how other people have navigated career transitions can give you something to think about.
10. ‘Are there any professional organisations or communities you think are worth joining?’
Your network shouldn’t be limited to the people you work with every day. There are professional associations, alumni communities, industry groups and women-focused organisations where you can meet people with similar interests. Ask around. Someone might introduce you to a community you didn’t even know existed.
11. ‘How do you get people to take your work seriously, especially when you’re relatively young?’
Being the youngest person in a room can sometimes be an interesting experience. You might have the ideas, the qualifications and the ability to do the work, but still find yourself having to establish credibility. This is a good opportunity to learn how more experienced women have handled it.
12. ‘How do you put yourself out there without feeling like you’re doing too much?’
There is a fine line between building professional visibility and feeling like you have to announce every little thing you do on LinkedIn. If someone has figured out how to build a reputation, attract opportunities and make their work known without feeling permanently online, you probably want to hear about it.
For the girl who wants to get her money right
We need to talk about money. Not just earning it, but keeping it, growing it and making decisions that give you more financial freedom. There is a lot we can learn from conversations about money, especially from women who have been intentional about building financial security.
You don’t have to ask someone how much they earn or what their bank balance looks like. There are much better ways to get the conversation going.
13. ‘Have you always been good with money, or did you have to learn?’
A refreshing way to start a conversation about personal finance. Some people grew up in financially disciplined households; others had to figure it out after making a few questionable decisions with their first salary. Either way, there might be something useful to learn.
14. ‘What’s one financial habit you wish you’d started earlier?’
Perhaps it’s saving a percentage of every salary, investing consistently, tracking expenses or finally learning to distinguish between wanting something and being able to afford it. Sometimes the smallest financial habits make the biggest difference over time.
15. ‘How did you learn to negotiate your salary or professional fees?’
This is particularly important for young women entering the workforce. Many of us are taught to work hard, be grateful for opportunities and prove ourselves. Far fewer are taught how to ask for better pay. If you meet someone who has mastered the art of negotiating, ask her how she does it.
16. ‘What resources helped you understand investing?’
Books, podcasts, courses and even conversations with financially knowledgeable friends can be a good starting point. You don’t have to become a financial expert overnight, but you should know enough to make informed decisions about your money.
17. ‘Have you ever had a side hustle that turned into something bigger?’
Perhaps someone started baking on weekends, consulting after work or selling a product to friends and family. Side hustles can be interesting stories in their own right, and you never know what business idea or lesson might come out of the conversation.
18. ‘What’s something you think young women should understand about building wealth?’
This is a good one for women who have been intentional about their finances over the years. You might hear about the importance of starting early, understanding assets, avoiding unnecessary debt or not allowing lifestyle inflation to swallow every salary increase.
And if the conversation gets particularly interesting, don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions. Money shouldn’t be such a taboo subject that we miss opportunities to learn from one another.
For the girl looking for mentors and women who will open doors
There is something special about meeting a woman who is doing something you’ve always wanted to do. Perhaps she’s a partner at a law firm, a successful entrepreneur, a senior executive or someone who has built an impressive career in an industry you’re hoping to enter.
Your first instinct might be to tell her how much you admire her work. Do that. But don’t stop there.
19. ‘How did you find people who supported your growth when you were starting out?’
Behind many successful women are people who encouraged them, gave them opportunities or helped them navigate difficult decisions. This question can give you an insight into how professional support systems are built.
20. ‘Is there anyone whose career or work you think I should be following?’
You might already follow a few industry leaders on Instagram or LinkedIn, but there’s always someone new to discover. This question is also a lovely way to get recommendations from someone whose judgement you respect.
21. ‘What makes you remember a young professional you’ve met?’
Is it the quality of their work? Their confidence? Their curiosity? The fact that they actually follow up after an introduction? Find out. You may learn that the things that make someone memorable have very little to do with having the most impressive CV in the room.
22. ‘Would you mind if I stayed in touch with you?’
Sometimes, the best networking question is also the simplest. If you’ve had a genuinely interesting conversation, there’s nothing wrong with expressing an interest in keeping the connection alive. You don’t need to pretend you’re going to become best friends. A professional relationship is a perfectly good place to start.
23. ‘What’s one thing you think I should focus on at this stage of my career?’
This works particularly well when someone has taken an interest in your career journey. Give them a little context about what you do and where you’d like to go, then invite their perspective. You might receive advice that changes how you approach your next few months.
For the girl who wants actual opportunities (because connections should go somewhere)
Let’s not pretend we’re networking purely for the intellectual stimulation. Sometimes, we want to find a new job, get clients, grow a business, collaborate with interesting people or simply discover opportunities that can help us earn more money.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The important thing is learning how to explore these possibilities without making every conversation sound like a sales pitch.
24. ‘What are some of the biggest challenges you’re dealing with in your industry at the moment?’
Every industry has its problems. Understanding what they are can help you identify gaps, develop relevant skills and even spot business opportunities. You might discover that a problem someone is struggling with is something you already know how to solve.
25. ‘Are you working on anything at the moment that you’re particularly excited about?’
A lovely way to find out about someone’s current projects. If there’s an opportunity to contribute, collaborate or learn something new, the conversation can naturally move in that direction.
26. ‘What kind of people or skills are you looking to connect with right now?’
This is especially useful when speaking to business owners, founders and professionals working on major projects. They may be looking for a consultant, researcher, designer, lawyer, marketer or someone with a particular technical skill. And even if they aren’t looking for you, they might remember you when an opportunity comes up.
27. ‘What’s one opportunity you think more young professionals should be taking advantage of?’
Perhaps it’s a scholarship, fellowship, professional certification, industry event, grant or international exchange programme. People often know about opportunities simply because they’ve been in the right professional circles for a while. Ask questions and let them share what they know.
A few networking rules the girlies should know
Having a few good questions is one thing. Knowing what to do with the conversation is another. Because the goal isn’t to sound like you’ve memorised a list of questions on your way to the event.
1. Don’t turn the conversation into an interrogation.
You don’t have to ask all 27 questions. Please don’t. Pick one, listen to the answer and allow the conversation to develop naturally. If someone tells you they recently started a business, ask what inspired them. If they mention a career change, ask how they made the transition.
2. Have a decent introduction ready.
You should be able to explain what you do without giving someone your entire professional history. Instead of simply saying, ‘I’m a lawyer,’ for example, you could say, ‘I’m a lawyer interested in intellectual property, technology and the business of innovation.’ It gives the other person a better idea of your interests and creates room for a more interesting conversation.
3. Don’t downplay your ambitions.
If you want to become a partner, start a company, work internationally, build an investment portfolio or eventually run your own organisation, say so. You don’t have to pretend you’re just taking things one day at a time when you actually have big plans. There is nothing embarrassing about being ambitious.
4. Remember that you have something to offer, too.
It’s easy to walk into a room of senior professionals and feel as though everyone knows more than you. But being young doesn’t mean being useless. You have your own experiences, skills, ideas and perspectives. You might be able to help someone with research, technology, social media, a professional introduction or a fresh perspective on an issue. Networking works best when everyone is allowed to bring something to the table.
5. Follow up. Please, follow up.
One of the easiest ways to waste a potentially good connection is to meet someone, have a lovely conversation and then disappear forever. If you’ve exchanged contacts, send a message within a day or two. Remind them where you met, mention something you discussed and thank them for their time.
6. And finally, don’t make networking a one-way street.
You don’t have to wait until you’re successful to be useful to someone. Share an interesting article, recommend someone for an opportunity, congratulate a connection on a new role or pass along information that might be helpful. You’d be surprised how much a relationship can grow through small, thoughtful gestures.
You don’t have to be the most interesting girl in the room. Just be willing to say hello.
Here’s the thing about networking: not every conversation will lead to something extraordinary. Some people you’ll meet once and never speak to again. Others will become colleagues, friends, mentors or business partners. A conversation over lunch might eventually lead to an opportunity you couldn’t have planned for. And that’s the beauty of it. You don’t need to have a perfect career, a thriving business or an impressive bank balance before you start meeting people. You don’t even need to be particularly outgoing. You just need to be willing to introduce yourself, ask questions and show genuine interest in the people around you.
So the next time you’re at an event and find yourself hovering around the refreshments because you don’t know who to talk to, take a breath and walk up to someone. Your next big opportunity might not come from another job application, another online course or another hour spent scrolling through LinkedIn. It might just begin with, ‘Hi, I’m Udo. What brought you here today?’
