As someone who has been a bridesmaid at least three or four times, compiling this list brings me immense joy.
Your bridesmaids play a crucial role not only on your wedding day but also in the days leading up to it. Presuming the people you choose are your friends, and you still want to maintain those friendships post-wedding, it’s crucial to consider their well-being amidst the wedding hustle.
While your wedding is undoubtedly about you, treating your bridesmaids thoughtfully matters too.
In this article, you’ll find a list of dos and don’ts when involving your friends as bridesmaids.
DO Ask Them to Be Your Bridesmaid in a Thoughtful Manner, and DON’T Just Add Them to a Group Chat
Honestly, there’s nothing worse than waking up to find yourself added to multiple group chats without prior notice. While it might be easier to brush off if it’s a friend, there are more considerate ways to invite your girlfriends to be a part of your big day. Whether it’s sending cards for a budget-friendly option or elaborate invitation boxes for those with more resources, having a thoughtful conversation is so important. Never assume that someone is automatically fit to be your bridesmaid solely based on the length of your friendship.
DO Be Upfront About Your Expectations
Being a bridesmaid is certainly not cheap. It comes with significant investments of time, money and emotions.
Did I say money?
As the bride, communicate your expectations up front. Don’t be a bully and size people’s pockets. Avoid pressuring your bridesmaids to spend more money than they can afford. From the cost of aso-ebi to the reception dress, tailoring expenses, makeup, accessories, and contributions toward an amazing bridal shower, again, being a bridesmaid involves a significant financial commitment. As the bride, give your friends ample notice regarding these costs so they can decide if they are in a position to fully commit to being a bridesmaid.
DO Be Understanding If Your Friend Doesn’t Want to Be a Bridesmaid
I mean, it’s understandable to feel a way if a friend declines your bridesmaid request, but as I mentioned already, being a bridesmaid isn’t cheap. It’s also extremely time consuming and sadly, not everyone may be in a position to take on such a big role. Adult friendships thrive on open communication, so as long as you’re both transparent with each other, there’s no need for animosity just because someone declined your request to be a bridesmaid. Please, there are more pressing matters in the world.
DON’T Ask Them to Change Their Appearance
I’m actually begging. If you know your friend has numerous body modifications, including tattoos to piercings, please don’t ask them to cover up or conceal for your wedding. Your friends are dedicating their time to support you on your special day, so it’s important never to request them to alter their appearance. Also, It’s absolutely unacceptable to ask someone to lose weight or adopt a specific hair colour just because Temilola is marrying Segun. Let’s be realistic please.
DO Let Your Bridesmaids Be Involved in Choosing Their Lewks
Rather than being rigid and imposing specific outfits on your bridesmaids (insert eye-roll emoji), give them tips and guidelines, including color and length preferences. This approach allows them to choose their attire while adhering to your overall vision (thank you, Pinterest!). It introduces flexibility, and when everyone wears what they like and feel comfortable in, this equals to a happy bridal party. Say goodbye to the era of imposing dresses on your bridesmaids.
DON’T Lose Your Friendships Because You’re Getting Married
Planning a wedding can honestly bring out the best and worst in people as it demands a lot of time, emotions, energy and money. As the bride, don’t allow anger consume you if your bridal party group chat takes its time to respond. The reality is, your chosen bridesmaids have lives beyond your wedding. While they care about making your big day special, it’s important not to get rude or disrespectful. One thing about life is, there’s always tomorrow. When your wedding is over, your friends are still the people you will lean on to discuss non-wedding related issues. Don’t burn those bridges over the price of aso-ebi.
DON’T Expect Your Bridesmaids to Attend Everything
Again, your bridesmaids have lives of their own–jobs, careers and other commitments. Understand that they may not have the time to attend every event, such as your bridal party, pre-wedding party, fittings, etc. Like I said, friendships thrive on open communication. As the bride, extend invitations to these extra activities but also be understanding if they can’t attend.
DON’T Treat Your Bridesmaids Like Servants
Sure, bridesmaids are there to support you on your wedding day, and some may even have specific tasks assigned to them. However, please, remember that they are also there to celebrate with you and enjoy your wedding, not spend the entire time acting like your house girl.
DO Understand That It’s Not By Force to Have Bridesmaids
If you prefer just Maid of Honour, that’s fine. You want a huge bridal party? that’s okay too. Or you don’t want bridesmaids at all? That’s perfectly fine as well. Don’t break your back – and bank – to force something you don’t care for. It’s really not by force to have bridesmaids at your wedding, if that’s your personal preference.
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