It’s 11:47 PM. The house is quiet, the city is asleep, but your mind is buzzing. Your thumb is hovering over his Instagram profile, your heart is pounding with a toxic cocktail of nostalgia and pain. You tell yourself you just want to see. Just one look at his profile picture, his latest story, his WhatsApp status. Just to know he’s… okay.
Girl, stop.
We know this feeling. The gut-wrenching, soul-crushing aftermath of a breakup where the only sane advice anyone can give you is “go no contact.” It sounds so simple, yet it feels like an impossible feat of emotional gymnastics. Remember, no contact is for YOU, not a game to make him miss you but a non-negotiable act of radical self-preservation. It is the boundary you draw to recenter yourself.
Honouring no contact it is one of the hardest but most powerful things you will ever do for your healing. So, when your resolve is weak and your thumb has a mind of its own, here are 7 practical tips to protect your peace and reclaim your power. Trust us, time heals everything.
1. Remove them from your digital space
This is the first, most brutal, but most necessary step. You cannot heal in the same environment that broke you, and his social media is now a toxic space.
- Block, Don’t Just Mute: Muting is for people you find mildly annoying. Blocking is for protecting your heart. Block him on Instagram, X (Twitter), Facebook, WhatsApp, and even LinkedIn. This removes the temptation to check and prevents his face from ambushing you on your timeline.
- Delete the Number: Yes, delete it. If you’re worried you’ll need it for an emergency, write it on a piece of paper and give it to a trusted friend to hold. The goal is to create enough friction that by the time you could get the number, the impulse to text has passed.
- Wipe the Archives: Delete the photos from your phone. You don’t have to do it all at once, but seeing his face every time you scroll through your camera roll is like picking at a wound. Move them to a hidden folder or a hard drive if you can’t bear to delete them forever, but get them out of your daily sight.
2. Out of Sight, Out of Mind: Do a Physical Cleanse
The digital ghosts are one thing but the physical reminders? A whole ‘nother ball game. That oversized hoodie that smells faintly of his cologne? The book he left on your reading table? The silly mug he bought you? They are anchors to the past.
It’s time to pack them up. Get a box, let’s call it a “breakup box”, and put everything that reminds you of him inside. Seal it and put it somewhere you can’t easily access, like the top of your wardrobe or at a friend’s house. By clearing your space, you’re clearing your mind.
3. Write Your ‘Why’ List (And Read It Often)
In moments of weakness, our brains have a cruel habit of romanticizing the past. We forget the arguments, the tears, the feeling of being unseen, and only remember the good times. This is where your ‘Why’ List becomes your secret weapon.
Take out your journal or the notes app on your phone and be brutally honest. Write down every single reason the relationship ended.
- “He made me feel small when I talked about my career.”
- “He was inconsistent with his communication.”
- “The argument we had on my birthday where I cried myself to sleep.”
Don’t hold back. When the urge to call him hits, read that list. Let it be the cold, hard dose of reality that reminds you why you chose yourself.
4. Reclaim Your Time
A relationship takes up a significant amount of time and energy. When it’s gone, it leaves a gaping void. If you don’t fill that void intentionally, loneliness and nostalgia will rush in to fill it for you.
This is your chance to rediscover who you are without him.
- Schedule Your Evenings: The nights are often the hardest. Make plans. Call your mum, schedule a movie night with your girls, sign up for that evening pottery class, go to the gym.
- Pour Into a Project: Focus that restless energy on something productive. That business idea you’ve been putting off? The professional certification you wanted to get? Now is the time. Channel your pain into your purpose.
5. Lean on Your Tribe
You are not an island. Do not try to go through this alone. Your friends and family are your first line of defense against a moment of weakness.
Be explicit with them. Say, “I am trying to honour no contact with [Ex’s Name], and it’s really hard. Can I call you whenever I feel the urge to text him?” Choose one or two friends to be your accountability partners. A quick “Don’t do it, o!” text from a friend can be the lifeline you need to get through a difficult moment.
6. Find a New Outlet To Express your Feelings
The emotions will come in waves—anger, sadness, confusion, grief. Trying to suppress them will only make them stronger. No contact doesn’t mean no feeling. It means finding a healthier place to put those feelings.
Instead of typing out a long, emotional paragraph to him that you’ll never send (or worse, that you will send), write it down in your journal. Scream into a pillow. Go for a long, hard run and let the sweat be your tears. Give your pain a voice, just make sure he is no longer the audience.
7. Embrace the Future
At its core, no contact is an act of faith. It’s the belief that there is a better, more peaceful version of your life on the other side of this pain. Start to actively imagine and build that life.
Create a new vision board. Plan a solo trip. Start romanticizing your own life—buy yourself flowers, take yourself out on dates, enjoy your own company. The more you fall in love with your present and your future, the less power the past will have over you.
Honouring no contact is a day-by-day, sometimes minute-by-minute, decision. There will be days you fail, and that’s okay. The goal is progress and not perfection. Each day you choose not to reach out is a victory. It’s a quiet declaration that your peace is more important than your pain, and your future is brighter than your history. You’ve got this.
