We all have different character traits and qualities we look for in the dating pool. Some more specific than others, but I think we can all agree there are certain attributes and qualities that constitute a good partner and overall, a healthy relationship.
The terms ‘good girlfriend’ and ‘good partner’ are quite subjective as they vary from person to person. Most times, someone else’s ideals of a good significant other may not mirror yours or your personality trait. Be that as it may, that should not discourage you as there is someone out there that who is a perfect match for you and is exactly right for you. It is important not to settle for less!
I asked some Nigerian men to share what they think makes a ‘good girlfriend or ‘good partner’ and I am about to share their responses with you. However, I must remind you that these are by no means a standard or yardstick to hold yourself to. We must not forget the age old saying that, “One man’s meat is another man’s poison”. With that said, this is what they had to say:
Ibikunle | 27
A good girlfriend as far as I am concerned is someone who is naturally caring and genuinely cares about me. There is this general notion that ‘men do not cry’ or ‘men need to be strong’, forgetting that we are also human and like all humans irrespective of gender sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry hence it will be nice to have a girlfriend who is caring and understands that. In my books, a good girlfriend is one that is attentive to my needs and does not assume I am okay because life is good. She should be interested in knowing how I am doing , the state of my mental health and the things going on in my life and helps create a safe space for me to air out my feelings without the fear of being judged or invalidating them.
Ayomikun | 23
I am a one-woman guy and so a good girlfriend to me is faithful and committed. Cheating on your significant other has been normalized and it is very disturbing to see. A good girlfriend in my opinion is someone who only has eyes for their significant other. I am not saying she will not find other people attractive, but commitment is a choice. Who does not want to go to sleep knowing that their girlfriend is theirs alone?
Zachary | 24
I do not think a lot of people take their time to get to know and understand their partners. A good girlfriend in my opinion understands me and is comfortable with me being myself without trying to change or bend me to suit their personality or ideal of who a ‘good boyfriend’ is. I believe there is a place for compromise in all relationships and it goes both ways. However, if I find that I cannot be myself at all around you then we just are not right for each other.
Hassan | 26
My opinion of a good girlfriend may be very unpopular but a good girlfriend in my opinion is someone who does not see me as an ATM machine. I am all for spoiling my girl and treating her to the finer things in life but we are all hustling together right now. I am still trying to set myself up properly, build an investment portfolio and generational wealth. Buying someone’s daughter bone straight or Dior saddle is not on my priority list right now. Contrary to popular belief, the basis of a relationship should not be financial gain.
Maleek | 25
A good girlfriend to me is someone who communicates openly and honestly. If I have done something wrong or have displeased you with my words or actions, I cannot make it right or explain my position if the problem is not communicated openly and in plain language to me. I know it seems cute to “front” when your man asks you what is wrong and you may need sometime to process your emotions and thoughts but after a series of continuous asking and expecting me to read your mind, it can become very frustrating. I equate your level of communication to how serious you are about the relationship because if we are not on the same page it will be hard to move forward as a couple.
Honestly, I do not think there is a set rule book or guide to being a good partner to your significant other simply because like I mentioned earlier, different people look for different things in a partner. You need to keep working at it and as time goes by with the help of effective communication, lots of patience and understanding, you and your partner will find your rhythm as a couple. Once that is done, loving your partner genuinely will be almost second nature to you.