• ABOUT
  • ADVERTISE
  • CONTACT
  • Login
21Magazine
  • CULTURE
    • Entertainment
    • Community
    • Books
    • TV & Movies
  • STYLE
    • Beauty
    • Fashion
  • WELLNESS
    • A Girls Guide
    • Sex & Relationships
    • Self
    • Friendships
    • The Single Life
  • LIFE
    • Real Asf
    • The Single Girl Diaries
    • Adulting
    • Career & Money
    • Astrology
  • Pitch To Us
No Result
View All Result
Plugin Install : Cart Detail need WooCommerce plugin to be installed.
21Magazine
  • CULTURE
    • Entertainment
    • Community
    • Books
    • TV & Movies
  • STYLE
    • Beauty
    • Fashion
  • WELLNESS
    • A Girls Guide
    • Sex & Relationships
    • Self
    • Friendships
    • The Single Life
  • LIFE
    • Real Asf
    • The Single Girl Diaries
    • Adulting
    • Career & Money
    • Astrology
  • Pitch To Us
  • Login
No Result
View All Result
Plugin Install : Cart Icon need WooCommerce plugin to be installed.
21Magazine
No Result
View All Result

Christmas Meals To Make Your African Relatives Leave Your House On Time

Soyinka Oreoluwa by Soyinka Oreoluwa
in Food
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Seasons Greetings! Here at 21, we love you, and that’s why we think of solutions to problems before you even realize you have them. If you’re trying to have a quiet and peaceful Christmas devoid of “when are you getting married?” Or “you’ve gained weight” from African family relatives, I’ve created the perfect list of Christmas recipes/dishes you need to cook up (see what I did there?) so visitors leave as soon as they come in because you see, its not every December you make Jollof rice. Sometimes, spice it up and give your sometimes unwanted visitors Vegan food so you can confuse them and send them packing.


1. Vegan Dishes

If you don’t cook up a vegan meal, have you even started? When I say Vegan, I mean a no-meat, no-chicken, no-fish meal. Just vegetables, tofu and vibes. This one works I tell you because it’ll come as a shock to them. When they are opening the pots and the oven to look for the protein, tell them you’ve joined PETA and you don’t relate with such anymore.

2. Serve Rice, But Don’t Make It Jollof, Fried or White Rice

Serve Cauliflower rice and communicate to your older relatives the benefits of this meal while adding that they are getting old so they need to be eating healthier. Imagine the shock on your aunty and uncle’s faces when they realize there’s no Jollof or Fried rice this year. As Nigerians, that’s a big problem. Problem for them, peace for you. Soon after lunch, you’ll find them trying to make excuses to leave. It’s not that they have to get home early, they just need to look for someone else’s house to eat Jollof.

3. Cook Your Food Without Pepper

Follow this up with discussions on how you don’t eat pepper anymore as advised by your Doctor. This tip would bang especially if you’re from the Yoruba culture. If you’ve successfully reached this step, then your aunty is probably giving you weird looks by now because whose child are you? Don’t be shocked if she casually brings out dry pepper from the bag that she carries everywhere, just proceed to the next step.

4. Serve Sea Food, Particularly Lobster & Crab

Empathize with them on the vegan meal and tell them you made a seafood platter, just in case. They will be relieved when you tell them there’s protein that isn’t vegan based, so peep their surprise when you serve a tray of full de-shelled Crab & Lobster with the mallet (hammer) and knife to break the crab shell. Your 50+ aunty would ask you what the hammer is for, and your uncle who really isn’t your uncle will most likely tell you that he’s full already. The goal is to stress all of them but understand that this will only work for your older relatives that eat only African dishes. If you serve this meal to your aunties and uncles that vacation every 3 months and are always abroad, you’re on your own because they’ll camp at your house.

5. In Fact, Don’t Cook At All. Tell Them You’re Fasting On The Lord’s Day

Who will want to fast with you on Christmas day?


I wish you all the best, don’t forget to let me know the set date for the family meeting they’ll call on your head. 

Tags: African relativesChristmas meals
ShareTweet
Soyinka Oreoluwa

Soyinka Oreoluwa

Relationship status: Netflix and ice cream

Related Posts

Vitamin D Deficiency
Wellness

My Journey Through a Vitamin D Deficiency: 4 Ways to Incorporate Vitamins Into Your Daily Life

10 popular fruits
Food

Sorry Not Sorry: Rating 10 Popular Fruits

foods that should never be eaten in public
Food

Sorry Not Sorry: Foods That Should Never Be Eaten In Public According To Nigerians

restaurants
Food

Part 1: Restaurants That Have Good Ambience But Terrible Food

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • Trending
  • Comments
  • Latest
Kayan Mata

The Single Girl Diaries: My Kayan Mata Experience

big dick horror stories

Women Share Their Big Dick Horror Stories And The Responses Are Going To Make You Laugh

what your birth month says about your Sex Life

You Didn’t Ask, But Here’s What Your Birth Month Says About Your Sex Life

cheat manipulate

“He Lied About Having a Brain Tumour Just to Manipulate and Cheat on Me”

popular nigerian foods

Sorry, Not Sorry: Rating 15 Popular Nigerian Foods

guide to moving back to nigeria

The 21 ‘IJGB’ Guide To Moving Back To Nigeria

QUIZ: Plan A Wedding And We’ll Reveal Which Zodiac Sign You’re Destined To Marry

QUIZ: Plan A Wedding And We’ll Reveal Which Zodiac Sign You’re Destined To Marry

the single girl diaries

The Single Girl Diaries: The Time The Worst Date Of My Life Ended With The Best Sex Of My Life

fatal flaw fatal flaw friend theory

The Fatal Flaw Friend Theory Will Change How You View Your Friendships

Lori Harvey dating

Can We Stop Judging Lori Harvey For Um, Simply Just Dating?

Relationship weight weight gain

Is Relationship Weight Real? (Yes, It Is and Your Partner Is Making You Fat)

pretty privilege

We Asked 6 Women Whether Pretty Privilege Exists. These Are Their Stories

21 Logo white
  • About
  • Advertise
  • Contact 
  • Press
  • Career
  • Terms of Service

2022© The 21 Magazine. All Rights Reserved.

No Result
View All Result
  • CULTURE
    • Entertainment
    • Community
    • Books
    • TV & Movies
  • STYLE
    • Beauty
    • Fashion
  • WELLNESS
    • A Girls Guide
    • Sex & Relationships
    • Self
    • Friendships
    • The Single Life
  • LIFE
    • Real Asf
    • The Single Girl Diaries
    • Adulting
    • Career & Money
    • Astrology
  • Pitch To Us
  • Login

© 2022 21 Magazine - All Rights Reserved

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In