Sorry, Not Sorry: Rating 15 Popular Nigerian Foods

My taste buds are always happy to welcome and embrace the popular Nigerian foods. I love eating a little too much so its only fitting that I tell you guys which ones I consider top-tier and which ones are on ground zero.

Let’s dive in!

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1. Jollof Rice – 10/10

This is a popular Nigerian food I am happy to give a 10/10. When prepared well, there is literally nothing that compares. Maybe Fried rice sha.

Have you ever had properly cooked party jollof? The ones Yoruba people murder? Best food ever!

Jollof rice is practically a Nigerian citizen and a patriotic one at that, as it serves the people well and even wins international wars.

2. Pounded Yam – 5/10

I don’t know. Is this food as delicious as people say it is? How is it such a popular delicacy? I don’t care if you cancel me o, but Pounded Yam is an easy 5/10.

How are you people eating boiled yam and soup? because that is basically what it is. You peel yam, you boil it, then because you want to make it into a morsel by force, you bring in a mortar and pestle.

I thought we abolished slavery. Is it not just hunger we are trying to satisfy? Why are we introducing weapons into the mix? Mortar and pestle for food that will be downed in a few minutes.

Let’s discuss the taste. It doesn’t rub you the wrong way when you swallow a lump that tastes like yam and soup in your mouth? Uh weird.

Don’t get me wrong, I eat pounded yam, I do. I just don’t enjoy it. I’ll pick Eba any day.

3. Egusi – 10/10

Egusi oh Egusi. Such a prima donna, a timeless queen, the one and only. 10/10!

Egusi goes well with most swallows, so its definitely high up in my ratings. If you don’t like Egusi, I would like you to examine yourself, seeing as something can’t be right somewhere.

4. Fried Plantain – 7/10

I would like to make it known that my editor did not agree with this rating. In her words, ‘plantain is life’.

Although I agree its a delicious meal, I just don’t want it all the time. People like to add it as a side to their food like in beans or Jollof rice.

Unnecessary.

The only time I truly enjoy plantain as a meal is when its served with fried eggs. Yummy.

Unfortunately, its not so great for your skin.

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Read: Avoid These Types Of Food If You Have Acne Prone Skin

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5. Amala – 5.5/10

Amala does not have the range so its a 5.5/10 for me. Amala is only to be enjoyed with Ewedu or with her sister Ewedu + Gbegiri = Abula.

Any other thing and its just meh.

I enjoy Amala though, I love how it glides down the throat so easily. Unlike other swallows, Amala is pretty ugly, let’s not even lie. If Amala was a person, he’ll be a wicked Nigerian man.

6. Eba – 10/10

Eba is the G.O.A.T of all swallows so its a 10/10 for me. People that rate Pounded yam over Eba are to be questioned. How many times do you eat pounded yam in your house?

Don’t lie o. 

Pounded yam is not eaten at the frequency that commands the respect Nigerians give it. I don’t know why people even rate pounded yam. Why? please explain.

Eba is amazing abeg. What soup can’t it go with? Ogbono, Egusi, Edikaikong, Afang, Ewedu, you name it.

7. Okra – 4/10

4/10 please.

Even its best version with seafood condiments is not all that. If your best soup is Okra, you’re bad vibes.

Next!

8. Semo – 4/10

Semo = Trash. People that eat this willingly are weird but people that really enjoy eating this? Bad vibes. Please throw them away.

Why do you enjoy eating something that tastes like nothing? Let’s not dally on this one, if you like Semo, throw yourself away immediately.

9. Garri & Groundnut – 7/10

This is a fair 7/10 for me. It saves you from hunger and the taste is refreshing, especially with cold water on a sunny afternoon. Many times when I can’t decide on what to eat, where to order from or if I should cook, I just pour some Ijebu garri in a bowl with some nuts and I’m good for another hour.

I have met some people that think they are real humans but evidently they are not. They drink the yellow Garri that we use to make Eba. You see those people? Report them. Not to Nigerian police o, to NASA please.

Obviously we are living among aliens. How do you explain soaking yellow Garri with sugar, milk and groundnuts? If that is not extraterrestrial behavior, I don’t know what is.

10. Ewa Agoyin – 9/10

Beans is so underrated. The versatile queen. It can be made into porridge, Akara, moin-moin, and of course, Ewa agoyin. I don’t know how to make this particular food so it is a real delicacy for me.

Any time I buy it or eat it at a party it brings me joy, that’s the only way to explain. I especially love the oily burnt sauce, it gives the beans a rich taste.

Ewa agoyin is an 9/10 for me.

11. Ofada Rice – 8.5/10

Popular Nigerian foods like Ofada rice need little or no introduction. What’s a Yoruba Owambe without Ofada rice? In fact, most restaurants have incorporated it into their menus.

Traced back to south-west Nigeria, Ofada is a blend of varieties of rice. Its ethnic taste does it for me.  The preparation of this meal is also a myth to me, I only enjoy the eating and I enjoy it a little too much.

Ofada rice served with different types of beef and ponmo with boiled egg and plantain is an 8.5/10.

12. Efo Riro – 9/10

After Egusi, Efo riro comes next in my ranks for most delicious soups. I like this vegetable soup because it tastes just right. I can eat this with rice and swallow! So this is a solid 9/10 for me.

The only tedious thing about Efo riro is slicing the vegetables. For this soup, you have to buy a whole forest of vegetables to make a pot. When you’ve gotten past the slicing and washing you can then begin the actual process of making Efo Riro.

It doesn’t bother me though, the taste makes it all worth it.

13. Moin-Moin – 6/10

I really like moin-moin, which is another cousin of Beans. It has a wholesome taste and sometimes I enjoy it even more when I find a little surprise egg embedded in the pudding.

However, it irks me when I find fish in it. I can’t explain it but its just too much protein for me. I wonder why no one has thought of introducing beef into the mix. I mean if we are going all out, why stop at fish, right?

Moin-moin is a 6/10 for me. Its great but meh.. its not that great.

14. Fried Rice – 10/10

Fried rice can be traced back to China, but with years and years of modification it has transcended to one of the most popular Nigerian foods. I love everything about Fried rice; the color, the condiments, the taste, everything!

This is an easy 10/10.

Fried rice is the only worthy contender with Jollof rice in the rice wars and it still stands gallantly.

I see that some people can’t get enough of both worlds and bring them together side by side on their plates in beautiful harmony.

There’s just one thing with Fried rice. It loves to get rotten.

Obviously as a bad bitch, you either eat it as soon as you make it, or watch it spoil. Your choice.

15. Akara – 8/10

Don’t you agree that beans just makes the finest cuisines? Imagine being so top tier that several of your variations make it to a food rank list.

Akara is an 8/10 for me.  It is sold on the streets with other fried foods such as potatoes and yam. You can even eat it with bread, custard or pap, some people eat it with Garri as well.

Splendid!

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This brings us to the end of my food list. If you don’t like my ratings, you can bring your violence to the comments. Let’s fight.