Sorry Not Sorry: Foods That Should Never Be Eaten In Public According To Nigerians

I’m a big foodie so truthfully, there’s no food that can shame me. I can eat anything anywhere.

But you see, that’s just me. Not everyone can be shameless like me so of course I did what I had to do, I asked around to find out what most people are ashamed to eat in public.

The answers I got shocked me, particularly because of my own lack of shame.

Let’s get to it:

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1. Burgers:

Honestly, I understand how this particular food can easily make a fool out of you. There are just too many condiments!

Burgers are great and they taste fantastic, but why do they act like they don’t want to go in your mouth? Take a bite out of a Burger and before you know it, half of the Burger is falling apart at the other end.

As in, don’t you want me to eat you?

Not that it matters to me, remember what I said about not having shame? I usually just rearrange the whole thing and contine eating.

With burgers, the trick is to open your mouth wide. Like, wide and round enough to fit the burger buns in, and then you just push the whole thing in from there.

That is sincerely my best advice if you don’t want to be embarrassed by all the tomatoes, lettuce, cheese and what not spilling out.

Do your own back, and open your mouth WAHH.

You’re welcome.

2. Anything swallow:

Hm.

I didn’t follow up with this person on why this should be embarrassing but I’m guessing the issue revolves around the mechanics of eating morsels and soup.

There’s a thing where people say if you use your hand to eat swallow, you’ll enjoy it better.

Which is true because how do you even eat something like Amala with Cutlery?

I believe that this person doesn’t like messy hands or maybe its because a lot of Nigerian soups don’t exactly smell like roses or vanilla.

You can’t exactly go breathing down someone’s face if you didn’t take a mint after downing Fufu and Ogbono.

Ugh I think I see it now.

You know, now that I think about it you can’t eat swallow and not look hungry.

It’s not possible, and that on it’s own is embarrassing.

Picture it now, you walk into a restaurant and see a man just eating his Eba and Okro soup, I personally cannot picture peace.

Anything swallow is just ravenous energy, I agree now.

3. Chicken

What’s Chicken doing on this list?

Hm. Maybe it’s the bones?

What is so embarrassing about Chicken? Omo, maybe the person meant Chicken that is still alive and uncooked.

4. Chinese Food

What is wrong with Nigerians?

What did Chinese food ever do to you?

Besides, “Chinese food” is too broad. Is it special fried rice and chicken in chili sauce you can’t eat in public?

5. Yam

Yam ???

I saw a Tweet where someone talked about eating Yam because she didn’t have a boyfriend to choke her, so maybe that is Yam’s sin.

I don’t see myself eating Yam in public though. I only enjoy eating fried Yam, any other thing is a waste of time and YES – that includes Pounded Yam.

Read: Sorry Not Sorry: Rating 15 Popular Nigerian Foods

6. Shawarma

Aha! I’ve been waiting for this.

Between this and Burgers, I’m not sure which is worse.

Nobody’s mouth can ever wrap around the whole thing.

I remember going on a date to the movies this one time and eating Shawarma in the theatre. Naturally it was really dark, I couldn’t see anything and all I could taste was the deliciousness going down my throat as I devoured the Shawarma with as much poise as I could muster.

When the movie ended and we all came out of the theatre to bright light, my white top was stained with sauce and sausage.

Yes, sausage.

It never stopped me from eating it outside though. I love Shawarmas and that is that.

7. Mango

I know people that are crazy for Mangoes. Anytime the season is right, they are at their happiest.

There is no way to eat a Mango and not look like a Goat. No offence to Goats of course.

How do you suck the seed? and in public? and not look all wrong?

Also, its not the same when you use a knife please, don’t even.

8. Crabs

I’ve never had crabs, but I would really love to try it.

However, I don’t see why it should be embarrassing to eat in public?

Just say you don’t know how to eat it and go, I won’t judge you.

9. Watermelon

My favorite fruit!

This is so true but the thing is, Watermelons are an elite fruit.

Hear me out: you can cut it into cute little cubes and just fork it down unlike those weird ass Mangoes.

If you try to eat a whole slice of watermelon in public, you’re obviously playing yourself.

The fruit is literally named after water, so prepare to be drenched.

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What are some foods you will never be caught dead eating in public?