Dream Count, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s latest novel, delves into the lives, love, regrets and loss of four women—Chiamaka, Zikora, Kadiatou, and Omelogor. It’s a brilliant narrative that made me feel as though these women were a part of my own life. Their yearnings, setbacks, desires, and struggles felt so real and vivid, leaving a lasting impression. As is often the case in a patriarchal society, men occupied a central place in these women’s lives, especially as boyfriends and husbands.
Some of these men made us clutch our chests while giggling and grinning from ear to ear, praying silently in our hearts ‘god when’. While a lot more others reminded us of the importance of women choosing selfishness and wickedness towards men, as an act of self-preservation
As you scroll down this article, we rank the male lovers of Dream Count from good to worse.
10
Chiamaka’s Dad
Something warm he did: He spoiled his wife silly, always content with letting her have the spotlight.
Chiamaka’s dad was one hell of an Odogwu—thankfully without any hint of benevolent sexism. He ensured his family was well taken care of, especially his wife. You could tell that he literally was just happy to have his wife. Chiamaka’s mom would drop an opinion, and he would be solidly behind her to validate. The times he didn’t necessarily agree with her in public, he never voiced a dissenting opinion.
Personally, I knew I would have married him in heart beat in that one scene where he took his wife for some luxury shopping, and after returning home, she (knowingly to him) feigned exhaustion to run a short errand, so he swiftly volunteered to run it for her. She won.
9
Chuka
Something warm he did:While holding his Chiamaka’s bag, a friend asked him: “Chuka, why are you holding her handbag like a house boy”. Chuka replied calmly, “I am holding her bag because I want to hold her bag”.
The sexiest a man can be is to be comfortable in his masculinity. Loyal, loving, kind, manly Chuka—they don’t make them like this anymore. Chuka is hands down the best lover in Dream Count. He had his own money. He was disciplined and clean. He didn’t fully grasp Chia’s job as a travel writer, but he was quietly supportive. He ensured his woman was well satisfied in the bedroom. He doted patiently and lovingly on Chiamaka. He made several efforts to appreciate his woman’s friends.
What more could a girl have wanted? (Ask Chia, not me)
8
Luuk
Something warm he did: He researched on a condition his girl, Chiamaka suffered from, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, and on her sick days, he would give her extra tender loving, care and attention.
You know those romantic relationships you forget you ever happened? The ones you can go years without remembering, and one random afternoon you are like “Ah, it’s true, I even dated this person.” That’s the exact vibe Luuk’s relationship with Chiamaka gave. Still, he was a pretty good boyfriend.
7
Amadou
Something warm he did: He came back for Kadiatou, whom he promised while they were still in love in the village, to take to America. He helped her and her daughter move to the United States of America.
Amadou was far from perfect but the fact that he came back after so many years to fulfil his promise to Kadiatou that he would take her away from the hardships of Guinea to America, redeemed him. He was also against Kadiatou performing Female Genital Mutilation on her daughter, Binta. It also spoke volumes that he never tried to involve Kadi in his weed business—something a lot of drug dealers usually do to their women. Though he did have a secret love child and didn’t tell Kadiatou, it was long before he reunited with her, and I guess that makes it a bit forgivable. Perhaps, if life dealt him better cards, he would have shown up for Kadiatou in even more meaningful ways.
6
The Englishman
Something trashy he did: He omitted to tell his girlfriend that he was married
The Englishman could as well have been The Lagosman—only that he never told Chiamaka that he wished he met her before his wife. He seemed like the perfect gentleman, and he gave Chia the love that she Chia yearned for. He was enthusiastic about understanding who she was, and he always tried to please her with his words and actions. Chiamaka’s love with the Englishman felt like a slow burn soft romance.
But, he was married, and he kept this important fact away from her until she fell in love with him. How manipulative is that? After he revealed his marriage to Chia, he promised her he would ask for a divorce and kept stringing her along until we all realised he didn’t have the heart to follow through on his promise.
5
The second thief of time
Something trashy he did: He would always give Zikora silent treatment when they fought, preferring her to mend things (that she didn’t necessarily break) by apologising—while in tears.
The second thief of time was an irritant. Zikora was really God’s strongest soldier putting up with a man-child. For him, his relationship with Zikora was one of convenience. He never apologised, he never put effort into gifting her and whenever Zikora asked where the relationship was going, he always gave ambiguous responses. A proper ‘let’s go with the flow kind of guy’, but the water is in a swimming pool—never going anywhere.
4
Zikora’s dad
Something trashy he did: He abandoned his first wife and their daughter (Zikora) by moving into another house with his second wife and the son they had together. The excuse he gave for the abandonment was infuriating—His son cheated in an examination and he wanted to monitor the boy because “Boys can so easily go wrong, girls don’t go wrong”.
Granted, Zikora’s dad ensured Zikora and her mom were well taken care of, but he was still a bad husband and a bad father to his first family. He should never have gotten a second wife in the first place. Worse, by moving out, he reneged on his word to Zikora’s mom after convincing her not to make a fuss about his decision to re-marry and, he never gave Zikora the courtesy of explaining why he moved out of their house. Imagine being a child and waking up one day to see that the man you have always called dad, has left your home to stay with another woman and your step-sibling. Men are the logical gender, and women the emotional gender, yet it is men who abandon their families for their desire.
Zikora’s mum snapped when she said “Men say all kinds of things. It is what they do that matters.”
3
The first thief of time
Something trashy he did: After hinting at marriage on several occasions to his girlfriend (Zikora) he proposed to another woman without having the courtesy of breaking up with her first. She literally found out on social media.
I knew the first thief of time was trouble when he didn’t bother cleaning up his dirty apartment when Zikora came to visit for the first time, and he excused himself by saying “Sorry, it’s just that I have not had a woman in this house in ages.” That was immediately when Zikora should have run out the door. But desperation for marriage didn’t let her see road. She stayed and accommodated his filthiness—cleaning up after him even.
The first thief of time acted like many men who can sniff the pungent desperation of a woman who wants to get married by any means. These men begin to make strange requests or exhibit nasty behaviours, testing the waters to see how much the woman is willing to take all for a ring on her finger. He started first by seeing if Zikora would clean up after him, and when she did, he had the audacity to question her fertility and suggest they start trying for a baby before marriage, and when she agreed, he told her that she would have to quit her job because he wouldn’t want a nanny to take care of their hypothetical children. All these insulting demands just for him to marry another woman.
It was truly shocking how things ended between the first thief of time and Zikora, but it was very much needed. Lord knows what else he would have made Zikora do for the possibility of marriage.
2
Darnell
Something trashy he did: He invited his well-travelled girlfriend to Paris. At Paris, he got angry that the drink she ordered during breakfast with his friends wasn’t French enough. So he ignored her all through breakfast, flirted with a French woman in her presence and the last straw, locked her out of their bedroom later that night when she confronted him on his behaviour at breakfast.
Darnell was an arrogant self-absorbed piece of SHIT. It irked me how he always positioned himself as better than Chiamaka, and how she constantly had to make herself smaller to accommodate his arrogance. He would flirt with other women in Chia’s presence; whenever he was hanging out with Chia and his friends, he would crack jokes or tell stories at the expense of her comfort; he never even allowed Chia to enjoy the spotlight of her awesomeness—constantly downplaying her job and attributing her family’s wealth to slavery. Do you remember when someone complimented Chia’s beauty in the airport and she thanked them, he had a problem with it? Truly, the weapon fashioned against Chia’s happiness.
The thing is, Darnell was jealous of Chia—if you know, you know— and what’s sinister about his brand of envy is how he wrapped it in intellectual superiority. Our girl Chiamaka was blinded for the longest time because she truly thought Darnell was better than her. Despite how Darnell not only positioned himself, opinions and lifestyle as better than Chia’s but also constantly snivelled about the fact that she came from money, he still shamelessly took money from her. Ew. Throw the whole man in the bin.
1
Kwame
Something trashy he did: He ghosted his babe when she told him that she was pregnant. As in, pin-drop silence.
Ironically, Kwame was the “perfect man”. He was a responsible and considerate lover who never gave Zikora a headache. He was intelligent and well-to-do. He said and did the right things. Everyone loved him because he was just so charming— Zikora’s family, her friends, Zikora’s bestie’s maid (Kadjiatou) and even me the reader.
Then Zikora told him that she thought she was pregnant. This foolish man in response to the news, asked if he could leave her apartment, and he never came back. Literally.
I’m still perplexed by Kwame’s behaviour. Was it cowardice to own up to the huge responsibility that a child comes with? What exactly would make him abandon a woman he was committed to? Ghosting abruptly and unexpectedly with no explanation and granting no closure to poor pregnant Zikora. Leaving her wondering, that maybe one day, just one day, he will come back to her. The highest bottom barrel behaviour!
He never showed up once during her pregnancy. Never offered an ounce of any type of support. And didn’t have the balls to explain why. Instead, he told his family that Zikora upset him and they had fallen out—he couldn’t even tell them the truth. He just went on with his life like she never existed. Worse still, he didn’t even show up after finding out that Zikora had given birth.
There is a special place in hell for men who cause pain to their pregnant lovers. And an even hotter spot for deadbeat fathers.
