Picture this: Valentine’s Day is approaching, and you’ve been daydreaming about what your person has in store for you. On V-day, he walks into your home with the most stunning bouquet of mixed flowers—roses, lilies, daffodils, orchids, baby breaths. You take a picture and post it on Instagram, and then you reveal whatever surprise you had in store for him because he has made your day as far as you’re concerned. Or….you quietly spend the rest of the day feeling put off that you received “just flowers”.
Cultural perspective of gift-giving in Nigeria
Flowers have little utility for humans. If you really think about it, apart from a few that have medicinal value, many other flowers aren’t particularly useful as resources. Yet, the global cut flower industry is estimated to be about 30 billion dollars, with humans spending thousands of years cultivating flowers for no major purpose other than aesthetics and fragrance. Despite the general acculturation of the world over, where flowers are the quintessential expression of romantic love for another, it was only recently that Nigerians began to embrace the Western culture of flower giving.
In Nigeria, gift-giving is a deeply important aspect of relationships. Historically, flowers are not used in Nigerian ceremonies or romantic gestures in the same way they are in Western cultures. Romantic gestures extended to Nigerian women have always tended to be more practical. In traditional settings, romantic expressions were often shown through actions like providing for the woman or her family or paying her bride price during marriage negotiations, rather than ‘superficial’ gifts like flowers. ‘Superficial’ because there is a general consensus among many Nigerian women that flowers are not great gifts because they have no value–they cost so much to die so fast. I guess, many of us have always been practical queens.
However, while flowers are not traditionally associated with Nigerian culture, there is an increasing shift as modern influences become more pervasive through media and interactions with different cultures. Western movies, literature and music videos have made Nigerian women living in urban areas like Lagos, Abuja and Port-harcourt more open to receiving flowers. Enter Instagram where a bouquet is more than just a gift; it’s a visual statement. Nigerian women, especially the younger crowd, have become experts at leveraging social media to showcase the “best” of their lives—and sometimes, those flowers are the perfect prop. I can’t even deny it, there’s a certain pleasure in posting a photo of a carefully arranged bouquet captioned with something like ‘stop and smell your roses’ or an emoji that gets people wondering who loved you enough and was thoughtful enough to get you flowers (‘cause they don’t even come cheap in this part of the world). Then there’s the growing trend where foreign female celebrities visiting Nigeria are given flowers by their host upon arrival—we saw that when American stars Rubi Rose, Saweetie and Chloe Bailey came to Lagos recently.
What Nigerian Women Really Think About Receiving Flowers From Their Lovers
1. Esohe, 24, Lagos
Last Valentine, my boyfriend only gave me flowers and I actually loved it. I appreciate flowers as a stand alone gift especially when my man listens to what I specifically want. On that particular Valentine’s day, I had mentioned earlier in passing that I would love baby pink flowers for my birthday or valentine’s day, and he got me baby pink roses. It showed that he listens to me. So, yeah, flowers with intentionality serves as a great gift to me. But as a caveat, I must say, flowers with another gift, is a big plus.
2. Jane, 28, Abuja
On random days, flowers are a perfect reminder that I am loved by my man and it doesn’t matter if I have other needs at that moment–it will still be a perfect gift. But on special occasions? I wouldn’t be happy if I only received flowers.
3. Edna, 23, Abuja
I have received a lot of flowers from men and my friends as well, now I am tired of it and I prefer practical gifts. I do think though, that the only time someone will give you flowers and you will wonder ‘why not money?’ is because you don’t really like that person.
4. Justina, 27, Abuja
I love flowers, they are so gorgeous and I love posting them on my Pinterest and Instagram. I appreciate them more from my friends though, than from my man. I feel like whenever my guy gets me flowers there’s always this internal battle of ‘awwww, he is so sweet’ and ‘are these roses going to power my generator?’. I think this way because he, out of other people, knows that I have real needs and bills to pay, so should he really be shelling out his coins on a bouquet when he can just credit my account? Or buy me things on my wishlist?
5. Chinyere, 56, Abuja
The day my husband brings flowers home for me is the day I know he has started cheating with a gen-z.
6. Reni, 25, Lagos
I would rather not receive flowers from anybody. As a lazy person, it’s just extra work trying to keep them alive. I would be so dissappointed if my partner should gift me flowers, it has no value to me and it’s going to die in a few days. Honestly and truly, I would rather be given the money for the flowers rather than the flowers it self. What’s the essence of flowers if not for cruise and holding it to take pictures?
7. Edith, 24, Abuja
I love flowers, especially the thrill of just seeing how long you can keep them alive. For Valentine’s day, I don’t mind receiving only flowers, but for my birthday, flowers only won’t cut it.
8. Chiamaka, 27, Lagos
I don’t like receiving flowers as a stand-alone gift. That’s a gift appreciated by women living in first world countries.
9. Uche, 28, Abuja
Flowers are great standalone gifts especially for couples that celebrate each other all the time. They aren’t even cheap–to get a beautiful bouquet be ready to spend N50,000 naira upwards. Also, flowers have so many uses. Some are edible, some can be used to made skin care formulas, some purify the air and to be honest, it’s super thoughtful to have a lover prepare a really cute bouquet for you.
10. Anjola, 26, Abuja
I really love flowers, just seeing a bouquet by my bedside makes me feel so special. I don’t think it’s a great standalone gift though because they die quickly, give or take five days. I would love my lover to gift me something I can have, hold and remember in five or ten years. Flowers are lovely, but they definitely need to come with something else.
11. Ody, 26, Abuja
Different flowers have different significance but as a Nigerian girl I would prefer money over flowers because flowers cost a lot of money. I’m not crazy about flowers, but I do love the gesture and thought that goes into getting someone flowers. What has huge meaning to me is if the person chooses your favourite flowers (because not every one likes red roses) or matches the flowers with the ones that grow during your birthday season. That’s special.
I don’t think guys get flowers as a standalone gift, if you’ve so much money to spend on flowers, it might as well be attached to something else, like chocolates or a dinner date.
The Verdict
In summary, some Nigerian women love flowers, some don’t and many others see flowers as a quaint attachment to other gifts. Generally, in our cultural context they are not considered a top-tier expression of love or affection—else, why would they be a market for money bouquets?
Still, the appreciation for flowers as a romantic gesture is growing, especially in younger generations influenced by global trends, but practical, functional, and meaningful expressions of love—such as acts of service, quality time, and thoughtful, useful gifts—are still the dominant love languages in Nigeria. So before you gift the woman you love a bouquet of roses, ask her if it will need to come with a side of her favourite chocolate or rent money.
