There are few things as vulnerable as being in a hospital gown, legs apart, trying to explain something about your body that you might not even feel comfortable saying out loud to your closest friends. You are there because you need medical attention, and you are trusting someone else to help you understand what is happening inside your body. Ideally, that trust should be the bare minimum. But for many women, the gender of the person examining them can influence how comfortable they feel seeking care.
Recently, a video of Korty, Nigerian filmmaker and youtuber, discussing an awkward encounter with a male nurse got us thinking about a question that women do not always feel comfortable answering honestly: how do we really feel about male gynaecologists, nurses and doctors? For some women, it is a straightforward preference for female practitioners. For others, it is about past experiences, cultural conditioning, fear of being sexualised or simply wanting to feel understood. And then there are women whose experiences with male doctors have been entirely professional, reminding us that gender alone does not determine whether a healthcare provider will treat a patient with dignity.
We asked nine women to share their thoughts and experiences. Here is what they had to say:
1. “I feel like another woman would understand me better.”
Amara, 26, Abuja
I would personally prefer a female gynaecologist or nurse because I would feel more comfortable discussing intimate and sensitive health issues with another woman. I think I would feel more understood because we share the same gender. There is a certain level of understanding and relatability that would make me feel more relaxed and open during consultations. It is not necessarily that I think a male doctor cannot do his job. I just feel that, when it comes to something as personal as my reproductive health, I would be more comfortable with a woman.
2. “I was 17 when he winked at me naked.”
Nneka, 25, Abuja
The first time I saw a male gynaecologist was when I was diagnosed with PCOS. I remember having to undress, and the doctor winked at me. I was so uncomfortable. I was only 17. There were three male doctors in the room. Two were white, although I did not know their nationalities, and one was Black. It was the Black Nigerian doctor who winked at me as I undressed. That experience stayed with me.
Whatever the explanation, I was a teenager in a medical setting, and I deserved to feel safe. I should not have had to wonder whether a doctor was looking at me as a patient or as a sexual object. Sometimes, when I think about how it was just the Nigerian doctor that acted inappropriately I am reminded about Nigeria’s prevalent rape culture and how it emboldens Nigerian men to behave badly.
3. “He told me to go and get Bele.”
Zara, 29, Abuja
The last male doctor I saw for a Pap smear shouted at me to ‘go and get bele’ when I told him I had PCOS. Imagine going to a medical professional to discuss a condition that already causes you enough anxiety, only to have him respond by shouting something like that at you. It was dismissive, insensitive and completely unnecessary. At that moment, I laughed to reduce the tension but I was deeply irritated by the blatant unprofessionalism of it all.PCOS is a medical condition, not an invitation for anyone to make assumptions about my reproductive choices or shout unsolicited advice at me.
That experience was enough for me. I do not want to see a male doctor again if I can help it. Sometimes, the problem is not even the examination itself. It is the way you are spoken to while you are already in a vulnerable position.
4. “My dad is a gynaecologist, so I have never really had that fear.”
Mimi, 27, Lagos
My dad is a gynaecologist, so I think my perspective is different from that of someone who has never had a close relationship with a male doctor. Growing up, I understood that gynaecology is a medical speciality. It involves treating patients, diagnosing conditions and helping women manage their reproductive health. It was never something I automatically associated with anything sexual.
I do not mind seeing a male gynaecologist or nurse. For me, what matters is whether the person is qualified, respectful and professional. I would be uncomfortable with any doctor who made inappropriate comments or ignored my boundaries, regardless of their gender. I also think it is important to separate legitimate concerns about how a doctor behaves from the assumption that every man examining a woman must have bad intentions. I would rather judge a doctor by their conduct than their gender alone.
5. “I was worried I had an STI, and he treated me like a patient.”
Teni, 23, Abuja
I once went to see a doctor because I thought I might have a sexually transmitted infection. I was already anxious and embarrassed because I did not know what was wrong, and I was worried about being judged. The doctor was a man, but he was very professional. He asked me questions about my symptoms, explained the test I needed and told me what the possible outcomes could be. He did not make me feel dirty or irresponsible for being there. Honestly, I was relieved. When I got into the consultation room and saw that I was assigned a male doctor, I had spent so much time worrying about how he might react that I almost forgot I was there to get medical help.
6. “He had his finger in my anus, and I was still comfortable.”
Bisola, 30, Abuja
I went to see a doctor because I thought I had haemorrhoids. I was uncomfortable, I was in pain, and I knew I needed to get it checked. The doctor was a man. During the examination, he had to insert a gloved finger into my anus to assess what was going on. Obviously, it was not the most comfortable experience physically, but he explained what he needed to do beforehand and remained professional throughout. He did not make jokes about it or behave as though it was something embarrassing. He explained what he was checking for and what the next steps would be. I think that is what made the difference for me. The procedure itself was intimate, but I understood why it was necessary, and I felt that he respected me. In fact, his face was so deadpan it almost looked like he didn’t want to be there.
7. “I care less about whether my doctor is a man or a woman than whether they listen.”
Ada, 28, Lagos
I do not have a strict preference for male or female doctors. I have heard too many stories of women being dismissed by doctors of different genders to believe that being a woman automatically makes someone a better healthcare provider. What matters most to me is whether the doctor listens when I describe my symptoms, explains what they are doing and takes my concerns seriously. I also want to know that I can ask them to pause an examination if I feel uncomfortable. I understand why some women would rather see female gynaecologists, especially if they have had an uncomfortable experience with a man. That preference is valid. But I also think the real issue is whether we can trust healthcare providers to treat us with respect. I want a doctor who understands that I am a person, not just a body to examine. If they can do that, their gender is not the first thing I think about.
8. “I have had bad experiences with female doctors, too.”
Kamsi, 27, Abuja
I have had some really frustrating experiences with female doctors, so I cannot honestly say that women are automatically better at their jobs. I remember wanting to get a Pap smear, but a female doctor was reluctant to approve it even though I was already within the recommended age range for screening. I eventually saw a male doctor, who approved it for me. That experience taught me that incompetence, dismissiveness and poor judgement are not exclusive to men. Women can be just as frustrating to deal with in a medical setting, and having a female doctor does not automatically guarantee that you will be listened to or treated properly.
Still, if I have the option, I will generally lean towards female doctors, especially for intimate examinations. It is not necessarily because I think they are more competent, but because I feel less anxious about the possibility of being sexually assaulted or sexualised when I am in such a vulnerable position. That fear might not reflect every male doctor’s intentions, but it does affect how safe I feel.
At the end of the day, I know that bad doctors come in both genders. I just feel that, when it comes to examinations that require me to undress or expose intimate parts of my body, I am more comfortable with a woman. I would rather not have to spend the appointment worrying about something like that when I am already there because I need medical help.
9. “A male nurse is fine. A male gynaecologist? Not so much.”
Tomi, 24, Abuja
Honestly, I do not mind having a male nurse, as long as he does his job properly. But having a male gynaecologist would make me uncomfortable. I think it is the thought that, while examining me, he might start sexualising me, that makes me feel uneasy. I know that doctors are professionals, but I cannot always switch off that worry just because someone is wearing a white coat. Luckily, all the gynaecologists I have seen have been women, and I would love to keep it that way!
So, Is It the Doctor or the Gender?
The responses reveal that there is no single way women experience intimate medical care. For some, the presence of a male doctor is enough to make an already vulnerable situation feel more uncomfortable. For others, positive experiences have made it easier to separate a practitioner’s gender from their ability to provide good care.
But the women who have had uncomfortable encounters raise an important point: patients should not have to choose between getting medical attention and feeling safe. A doctor’s qualifications do not excuse inappropriate behaviour, dismissive comments or a failure to respect a patient’s boundaries. Equally, a patient’s preference for a female practitioner does not need to be justified by a traumatic experience. Feeling more comfortable with someone who shares your gender is a valid personal preference, particularly when examinations involve intimate parts of your body.
Good medical care should include clear explanations, informed consent, respect for privacy and the ability to pause or decline an examination, subject to the circumstances of the care being provided. Where appropriate, patients can also ask whether a chaperone is available. Ultimately, women should be able to choose a healthcare provider with whom they feel comfortable, without being shamed for their preferences or pressured to overlook experiences that have made them wary. Because when you are lying on an examination table, trying to explain a symptom you might have spent weeks working up the courage to discuss, the last thing you should have to worry about is whether the person meant to help you will make you regret showing up. You deserve to be treated with dignity. Every time.
Names have been changed to protect the respondents’ privacy.
